HIGHBOTTOM57

I have been sober for 8 weeks. As advised i call my sponsor everyday... But she may return my call every 3 days. We have never had more than a 3 minute conversation or sat down in person to talk. I know i am responsible for my connection to aa... But starting to wonder if this person is really available for me. On top of not getting to know me my sponsor, in my perception, is making harsh comments at meetings when i share about my denial. Don't want to make a huge deal of this, but am starting to questions if i should continue with this person.

DAB

I don't know, I have never spoken to my sponsor outside of a meeting on the phone or otherwise.

miamifella

I had similar experiences with most of my sponsors. They did not really want to invest until you got to step four. This is not universally how sponsors work, but it certainly was my experience.

I always say that rather than a sponsor, what a newcomer needs is someone to explain the program to them and would be available for some honest talk about recovery.

Rudie

I'm pretty new to all of this but thought I'd share my experience on the off chance it may be helpful. I don't talk to my sponsor every day. We go to two of the same meetings a week, however. When I first approached him to be my sponsor, we talked for about a half an hour. During that chat, we did the third step prayer together in the midst of 20 or so smokers. That was a new experience, as I have never prayed without my head in a toilet...

Generally at the meetings, we touch base informally for 5 minutes or so while hanging with the smokers outside. I am currently working step four, and as I complete some work on the steps, I give him a call and we meet up at a local coffee house for about an hour. We have done this twice now, and in a few days I will contact him to get another step work assignment.

MemphisBlues

Perhaps some need more intensive sponsorship than others? I don't know. I suspect it has a lot to do with the group dynamics of the meetings you attend.

I do think someone of us need that daily contact. I was fortunate enough to have a first sponsor who would share texts with me very day, meet once a week for long lunches, talk for a long time after the meetings, make sure I made it to the meetings after the meetings.

But as much as we need fellowship and guidance, this is still so ever a major inside job.

When you meet with your sponsor are you talking in the structure of the steps? About step 1?

For me, I needed someone to help be through the second part of Step 1...my life was (and still is!) unmanageable.

HIGHBOTTOM57

Yes. It is an inside job. I so do not want to drink. And feel much better... 9 weeks to day! Sending prayers and thanks to you.

Innerchild

I don't know but I am expected to speak to my sponsor at least once a day even if its for a few minutes. We usually talk in the morning and then at night. I like the daily contact. Do you think you need more contact with yours?

bbthumper

What I learned from my sponsor is this...

A sponsor is there for one main reason - to get me connected with my Higher Power. After all, that is all that can keep me sober in the long run. So a sponsor's job is to take me through the work that is in the book so I can have a spiritual awakening and in turn help others to do the same. I would say if youre not getting any step work done with a sponsor then its time to find a new sponsor. If a they get offended by that then that's not the person you wanted in the first place.

Good Luck to ya!!

onlythetruth

I was in AA for a while and used a sponsor. She helped me. But not because she was in AA, and not because we worked the steps....she helped me because she was my friend. She really cared about me. And we are still friends, even though I left AA years ago. In fact, she has helped a couple of her own sponsees find the SMART Recovery program, when she saw that AA wasn't working for them. Thank heavens for her open mind!

Anyway, I guess it depends on what you are looking for in a sponsor. The traditional view is that a sponsor is not a friend, of course. But even a sponsor who is not a friend, it seems to me, should pick up when you call. Otherwise, what's the point?