It's now that I know......
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
It's now that I know......
This post is meant for me. I want to be sure I capture the moment. I need to remember this feeling.
I drank and drugged last night.
Had anyone told me when I was a kid.... Ken you're gonna grow up. Have a great life. Make good money. Be in love.... And oh yeah.... You're going to be a drunk.... And coke head.
I might have told them really? The hell with love and money. The hell with everything if I am going to be an alcoholic drug user!
I know now that I am. There is no more guessing.... Growing old to see what happens.... It is now that I know.
Who would I be if I were not a user? What more could I have accomplished? How much more could I have loved?
It is never about what was. It will always be about what will be.
I write the damn script!
No more writing me out of the scene.
I have always been idealistic. The one that see possibilities in nearly everything and more important everyone.
I see my potential. I will not squander it. I will not give it up to alcohol and drugs. I already won this fight.
Just need to tell the other guy to lay down for the count.
I drank and drugged last night.
Had anyone told me when I was a kid.... Ken you're gonna grow up. Have a great life. Make good money. Be in love.... And oh yeah.... You're going to be a drunk.... And coke head.
I might have told them really? The hell with love and money. The hell with everything if I am going to be an alcoholic drug user!
I know now that I am. There is no more guessing.... Growing old to see what happens.... It is now that I know.
Who would I be if I were not a user? What more could I have accomplished? How much more could I have loved?
It is never about what was. It will always be about what will be.
I write the damn script!
No more writing me out of the scene.
I have always been idealistic. The one that see possibilities in nearly everything and more important everyone.
I see my potential. I will not squander it. I will not give it up to alcohol and drugs. I already won this fight.
Just need to tell the other guy to lay down for the count.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
I am sorry to hear you had a backsliding episode, but today is a new day. Think about what you did and how you got to doing it, analyze it for a bit, figure out how you can improve next time, then accept it and try to put it behind you. It happens. The goal is that it doesn't keep on happening.
I will say, having a fair amount of experience with recreational drug use, that the key to quitting drug use is pretty straightforward: Don't interact with people who use or sell drugs. It's not like they sell eightballs of blow at the 7-11. (or at least they don't at the 7-11 near my house . . )
Good luck.
I will say, having a fair amount of experience with recreational drug use, that the key to quitting drug use is pretty straightforward: Don't interact with people who use or sell drugs. It's not like they sell eightballs of blow at the 7-11. (or at least they don't at the 7-11 near my house . . )
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 526
these kinds of moments of positive thinking and belief are great in early recovery. i had a couple of them myself. they do turn into reality and help you to break out of despair and hopelessness. your only task is to take that positive feeling and desire and act on it. break the cycle. achieve what you thought was impossible. it is much closer than you might think, we are all in the same boat, we all CAN do it.
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