onlythetruth

I quit drinking the moment I decided I was done with it, but along the way I've tried various things which have had varying levels of helpfulness-- including AA. I liked the social support aspect of AA, but the philosophy didn't resonate with me; my own preference for peer support is SMART Recovery. I also notice that many people get all they need right here on SR, which is really a wonderful community of people who follow many different paths.

As far as feeling like a "failure" or that you will "let your wife down" if you use a support group, I think you have it upside down. If there's any "failure" here, it's caused by your drinking, not by seeking help to quit!

Amy2011

I can relate to what you are saying about using alcohol to make life easier and more enjoyable; however, I crossed that line when alcohol was no longer fun. I used AA to get sober and I was scared at first too. No one who walks through the doors off AA is happy to be there at first. No one has a childhood dream of becoming an alcoholic. If you think you have a problem you probably do. Life isn't always fun and exciting, sometimes it is hard and boring; however, I am so much happier waking up without a hangover. I can remmeber the night before and I can look in the mirror without guilt, shame, and remorse. Recovery is hard, but worth it in the long run. I wish I had stopped before by children were 9 and almost 12. You can give your child a sober father and he never has to see you drink. There are lots of options for sobriety. Find a program that works for you, commit to it, and follow through. Nothing changes if nothing change. Good luck.

Sapling

Good post Amy...Have a guy in my homegroup that says....None of us came in here on a winning streak.

sugarbear1

When I drank, everything was a chore. I drank to make it all fun but nothing really got done.

I am sober today. It's amazing how much fun even the little things can be AND how much real free time I can have, if I choose. I get much more done today and nothing seems to not be fun!

Try not drinking, get through the early months (1-3 or so) and it all gets done plus some, and it's ALL fun!

Zencat

When it comes down to drinking the choices in life become very narrow. Continue to drink alcoholically and have happen what so tragically happens in family's with an alcoholic, be despised by your loved ones. Or choose another direction in life that results in a freedom from alcoholism.

Fortunately there are many ways to recover from an illness that can someday prematurely kill a person. No one way is better than the other. Please pick a healthy new direction to go in.

Nirvana1

I'm someone who is trying to get my financial act together so that I can hopefully get married and start a family in the near future. So for someone like me, all these "chores" you have sound like a blessing and a gift. Just something to put into perspective.

auden67

I used to fear feeling like a failure too, but my bf has been very supportive, and tells me how proud he is of me. Sobriety is like long- distance running: takes time, commitment and work. But incrementally, you get better. And it gets easier and flows naturally. I treat my sobriety sort of like athletic training, educating myself, working everyday, striving for goals, adopting the right mindset. I don't use one program, but I read a lot and visit this forum everyday.

elizabeth1967

I know its overwhelming with a toddler but they grow up so fast and you will miss these days. My boy is 15 still my little boy but miss him being 2 so enjoy and no one tells you that when there little. Its something you have to learn when they grow up and their teenagers and they give so little of their time. Enjoy!