Is a support group necessary?
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Originally Posted by suki44883 
I don't know that face-to-face support is necessary, but it can be really helpful. Some of us have gotten through without face-to-face support, but some kind of support is definitely necessary. SR was, and continues to be, a huge source of support for me. I am here daily, reading and posting and trying to help others who are going through many of the same things I did.
Welcome to SR! You will find a lot of support here. Please come back and read a lot and post often. It will help.
Welcome to SR! You will find a lot of support here. Please come back and read a lot and post often. It will help.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
I ended up drinking basically alone in my home every night. My world was small (not too many real friends left, nothing to do with others as there weren't others to do things with).
I made it 5 days alone without drinking. I ran to an AA meeting that 5th day at 6:30 in the morning to get there by 7 a.m. I am so happy I did! I have real people in my life who understand what I am going through.
Tonight, I have dinner with two friends, then I will get to my home group and be with other friends. These people know what it's like to have 13 months of sobriety (they have much longer time sober than I do)....I need in person support and with over 6000 posts on SR, I need SR, too! I have other sites I visit, too. I have people I've spoken to so if I end up traveling, I could meet up with them, too (USA and around the world). This is too cool! I'm never alone no matter where I go.
You decide what you need for your recovery.
Glad you are here!!
I made it 5 days alone without drinking. I ran to an AA meeting that 5th day at 6:30 in the morning to get there by 7 a.m. I am so happy I did! I have real people in my life who understand what I am going through.
Tonight, I have dinner with two friends, then I will get to my home group and be with other friends. These people know what it's like to have 13 months of sobriety (they have much longer time sober than I do)....I need in person support and with over 6000 posts on SR, I need SR, too! I have other sites I visit, too. I have people I've spoken to so if I end up traveling, I could meet up with them, too (USA and around the world). This is too cool! I'm never alone no matter where I go.
You decide what you need for your recovery.
Glad you are here!!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 568
It's probably up to the individual. I'm a social person and find group support to be very motivational any time I try to do something hard. For example, when I trained for my first marathon, I joined a running club.
When I decided it was time to get sober, I came here, and it's been immensely helpful. I just started going to AA last week, so I'm not in a position to provide a glowing testimonial, but I will say that I'm feeling very positive about this particular group of people I've found.
Right around the time I went to my first meeting last week, I was kind of barely hanging on, feeling that I was losing my mind. I really, really needed to be around some people that understood. Prior to that, I didn't think AA would be my cup of tea, but I recognized that there were aspects that I very much needed to be open to. It's been good for me so far.
That's just me though. If my husband ever decided to get sober, he probably would choose another method over AA. And I'm pretty sure I won't be bumping into him on this forum. When he makes up his mind to do something, he likes to read up on it and then tackle it on his own. Who knows though, it's not for me to say. I just really see it as an individual decision, and it's good to be open minded.
When I decided it was time to get sober, I came here, and it's been immensely helpful. I just started going to AA last week, so I'm not in a position to provide a glowing testimonial, but I will say that I'm feeling very positive about this particular group of people I've found.
Right around the time I went to my first meeting last week, I was kind of barely hanging on, feeling that I was losing my mind. I really, really needed to be around some people that understood. Prior to that, I didn't think AA would be my cup of tea, but I recognized that there were aspects that I very much needed to be open to. It's been good for me so far.
That's just me though. If my husband ever decided to get sober, he probably would choose another method over AA. And I'm pretty sure I won't be bumping into him on this forum. When he makes up his mind to do something, he likes to read up on it and then tackle it on his own. Who knows though, it's not for me to say. I just really see it as an individual decision, and it's good to be open minded.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
I think there is a question about what "support" is. I learned in 12-step groups to share my solutions, but not my problems. This type of support did not work for me. (Also, from SR I learned that many 12-step groups encourage people to to share their problems--mine did not.) Maybe for more positive people it does, but I had to figure out what someone like me needed.
I needed to share the difficulties and problems openly and with honesty. It was not until stopped hoping that recovery programs would help me and decided to help myself by finding people I could speak to, that I finally found recovery. None of my support comes from addicts or alcoholics, but rather from empathetic insightful people who care about me.
I think that without "support" addiction/alcoholism becomes a shameful secret--and that makes recovery much more difficult.
I needed to share the difficulties and problems openly and with honesty. It was not until stopped hoping that recovery programs would help me and decided to help myself by finding people I could speak to, that I finally found recovery. None of my support comes from addicts or alcoholics, but rather from empathetic insightful people who care about me.
I think that without "support" addiction/alcoholism becomes a shameful secret--and that makes recovery much more difficult.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 14
Well -- you have been sober? How are you doing? My BF was an alcoholic for 30 years. 7 rehabs, many groups, but I don't think he ever took them seriously. He is in a group now that seems to be a very good fit (and mid forties takes sobriety very seriously finally) -- and he loves his sponsor. They are the same age and same business. We are actually invited to a party at their home with spouses and families. I am really excited because he usually excludes me from AA.
My BF used to be the life of the party -- BMOC. I have only known him for 4 years, but now that he longer uses at all (including drugs and pot) -- I do see a personality change. He is shyer and less social. His AA group is producing some great friends and support for him and for us. You can't continue your old lifestyle if you want to stay sober for long.
The other issue is that -- yes, you are sober -- but what happens when a life stressor comes along? It helps to have an established support group -- someone to pick up the phone and talk to in the middle of the night. Although I will say -- back during a relapse I picked up the phone and called AA myself --- got a wonderful person who really helped. However for the recovering addict there is nothing like calling a sponsor who has your back, knows your history. When you trust someone enough to share the 4th step -- that person becomes your best friend. He knows everything about you.
My BF used to be the life of the party -- BMOC. I have only known him for 4 years, but now that he longer uses at all (including drugs and pot) -- I do see a personality change. He is shyer and less social. His AA group is producing some great friends and support for him and for us. You can't continue your old lifestyle if you want to stay sober for long.
The other issue is that -- yes, you are sober -- but what happens when a life stressor comes along? It helps to have an established support group -- someone to pick up the phone and talk to in the middle of the night. Although I will say -- back during a relapse I picked up the phone and called AA myself --- got a wonderful person who really helped. However for the recovering addict there is nothing like calling a sponsor who has your back, knows your history. When you trust someone enough to share the 4th step -- that person becomes your best friend. He knows everything about you.
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