desertsong

... was one of the defense attorneys in Truman Capote's "In Cold Blood." He was the lawyer for the two murderers on their appeal and got to know both of them very well, as well as the author of the nonfiction novel, Truman Capote. In fact, in the first edition of "In Cold Blood," Truman gave my dad a signed copy that said, "To Joe ... with gratitude and admiration."

My dad died March 6, 2011 of alcoholism related dementia. Incidentally, March 6, 2012 happens to be my sobriety date. Interesting. I didn't consciously choose that date, but I also don't believe that was by accident. My mom claims to this day that losing this case led to my dad's downfall with alcohol ... his clients lost their appeals and were executed .... my dad always blamed himself. Truman, who was good friends with the murderers as well as with my dad, also died of alcoholism. Many of his dearest friends also say that this case launched him into his own alcoholism. I'm not saying that this case was to blame for their downfall, but as time goes by, I'm sure it contributed on some level. It was a loss and a heartache that none of them could deal with, even though they both knew that Smith and Hickock (the killers) were guilty.

So many factors come into play with alcoholism ... I know my dad was never the same after this case and many, many of Truman's friends say that this case is what launched him into alcoholism. Who knows.

I guess I just think about this horrible event every Father's Day because I know the impact it had on my dad and SO many others. I wish Father's Day could be a happy day for me, but it brings back so many painful memories ... my dad's pain ... the way he lashed out at his family because of that pain ... his tortured soul that only those closest to him could see ...

Who knows where it came from. But alcoholism, I think, is more complex than just the idea that we are "bodily different from our fellows." Sure, everyone goes through tough times and not all of them become alcoholics. But I will always think this event in his life had something to do with it.

Don't know where I'm going with this other than to vent and get some of my ideas in the open ... I've never totally understood my dad's alcoholism but this event always makes me wonder, especially after all the stories I've heard about it. I realize alcoholism is very complex but I will always wonder if this event isn't what launched my dad into the abyss, and I wonder every Father's Day.

Thank you for listening.

Soberween

Very interesting.... was just watching Capote yesterday starring Phillip Seymour Hoffman. I did notice that there was a lot of boozing in that movie. Particularly between Capote and Harper Lee. Thanks for sharing.

desertsong

Truman and Harper had a lifelong relationship ... they were both children of absent parents. Harper went on to lead a successful life as an author ... Truman also had a successful career but his alcoholism derailed it. In their day, "boozing" was part of their social circle ... part of promoting their work. But in Truman's case, it went too far. Why ... is anyone's guess.

Payton

Thank you for sharing this story. I can't imagine what it would be like having this case in your life. I watched thatovie and couldn't sleep afterward. I'm so sorry for the loss of your father and I'm glad you are sober.

Dee74

I'm sorry for your pain DS - I'm sure your dad would be thrilled at the way you're dealing with your own recovery tho

D

desertsong

I would hope so, Dee. Had a long talk with my mom tonight, and for the first time, I shared with her about my alcoholism. She wasn't surprised and was very supportive. Shared some very interesting and enlightening stuff about my dad in our conversation too. Put my mind at ease and gave me some peace. A LOT of peace.

Dee74

D

Luling

That took a lot of courage on your part. I'm so glad it was a positive conversation.

RobbyRobot

Thanks for this thread, Desertsong. I'm glad you're finding a good measure of peace, and more at ease with your thoughts too. So sorry for your loss.