sharp75

Hi paul, im in someway similar,im 27 and i have been drinking heavily for years. there was the normal teenage drinking but i was able to consume more than my friends and would drink til i threw up, then i went through a bad time and during this bad time i had a baby whos dad didnt wanna know and when he was only about 1 month old i would go out through the day and leave my son with my mam and tell my mam i was going shopping but i would end up in a pub getting drunk allday then come home and fall asleep leaving my son in the hands of my mam. it soon hit me what i was doing when my brother told me my son didnt deserve a mother like me so i stopped going out through the day drinking but by then the drink had hold of me so i drank most nights when my son was asleep. that went on for years and the i met someone who soon realised my problem but has stook by me the whole time. i soon turned to wine and lager but the wine made me violent and i physically attacked my boyfriend so i went back to just lager. I soon decided enough was enough and tried to stop drinking but after a week i had a panic attack and was took to hospital but i never admitted my drinking so everyone assumed it was anxiety but only 2 weeks ago after taking my head outa my backside, i realised it could have been withdrawl, i had tests done on my heart after that panic attack cos i was convinced i was dying from something. i then went back to drink as that would calm me down but lately i have been lying to my mam by borrowing money off her to buy drink but making out it was stuff for the family and my boyfreind has even had to resulkt in getting loans to pay bills as i drink the bill money, i have lately had excruciating anxiety and broke down 2 weeks ago so got straight on the phone to the doctor and admitted everything about my drinking(been seeing my doctor for years and told him about my drinking a few weeks ago but not the full extent of it) who referred me to an alcohol team and i am now awaiting detox which i really cant wait for. i even admitted to my mam that the money id been borrowing was for drink and apologised and asked her not to lend me anymore money and i was expecting an ear bashing but she was sympathetic and has been a diamond so i will admit i have brilliant support and wish i could have admitted it all much sooner. My son is now 9 and i have drank all of his childhood and i now have a 2 year old so now its time for me to change and be the mother they deserve. i wish you all the best, be determined and dont succumb to your friends wanting you to join them for a drink as for all you know they could be feeling the same as you yet youve been the brave one to admit it.and sorry about my long winded story but it feels really helpful when you know someone has been through similar .

sharp75

awuh1 how were you getting prolonged misery. just asking as im trying to get detox as i strongly dont believe i can do it on my own.

awuh1

I might be better to start your own thread sharp. I don't want to rerail this one. I'll send you a private message. Just let me say here that support is good... It's just not enough.

stepping

Welcome to SR Paul!

Oh yes, what you are experiencing is anxiety (induced by alcohol) BUT you know what Paul there is refreshing news to come out of this....if you stop drinking the anxiety will most likely disappear.
I was your age when the anxiety started and it took me a long several months to put two and two together. When I quit drinking the anxiety totally stopped and I was no longer posting things like this while being scared to death. When I stopped drinking not only did the anxiety stop but the fear itself went out the window.
You have come to the right place for support. We have all been there in one extreme or the other. You have admitted there is a problem so that's step one....the rest is in your hands Paul, you can end this madness any time.
I wish you well. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. :ghug3

hypochondriac

Why don't you want to see a doctor Paul? I consider myself to have been very lucky with my detox. Just night sweats and disturbed sleep for a few weeks. I did it on my own but I did see a doctor after a week and that really put my mind at ease. However I was speaking to someone the other day who quit, felt fine but then had series of really bad seizures. No one is going to recommend detoxing by yourself without some kind of medical supervision or at least someone looking after you who knows what is happening to you. I consider myself lucky that I was okay and that I didn't need to detox under supervision. I can't see why talking to your doctor would be a problem, it's less intrusive than having to book yourself into rehab x

stepping

..........and Paul...seeing a Dr. is not a bad thing and has helped many including myself. I went to the doctor for an unrelated issue and as he was walking out the door to write my prescriptions up ...I knew this was my only chance and I was tired of suffering ....I tried every thing else with no avail for any length of time..I figured...what the heck do I have to lose..nothing....and I had my life to gain.....I stopped him and just said, I know this isn't related but I need help...that's all I said...no questions asked...we just went over what I was drinking and how much etc....then he wrote me a prescrition and all it took was 20 little pills (that I only needed four of)...I needed that boot in the butt..I needed to get a couple days under my belt with "help" then I was off for the races...sober. I am happier than I have been in a long, long, long, time. When you give up alcohol you will no longer feel defeated and weak, Paul...along with every thing else that comes along with the juice...hangovers, low self esteem,,,,what's the use I could go on and on and I can tell from your post you know what I am talking about.... I don't know what made me reach out to you but I see a lot of me in the post you made. I just want you to know there is a whole nother' life when sober....try it...embrace it...it's totally worth it...you won't regret it. You can private message me any time...I will be glad to help. I have been through this mess more than I would like to admit BUT I feel like I finally have control...well God has control I am just along for the ride...the sober ride

NewBeginning010

Many of us have been where you are... Life can be so much better if you put everything into your recovery (imagine the amount of effort you are putting into your drinking).

You can do this, we are with you

sharp75

Hypochondriac i totally agree that he should see a doctor, i didnt dare tell anyone but once i told my doctor i felt more at ease in telling the rest of my family members. most of my family know now and i dont care one bit as its like a breath of fresh air that they know. iv had close family members die through alcoholism so they fully support me x

Payton

Welcome to SR and thank you for sharing your story. Being a functional alcoholic is not fun because you hide all of your pain and secrets and it's a very sad and lonely existence.

I hope you see a doctor for detox help - you've been drinking nonstop for a year and your body is going to be upset when you stop.