Its so hard
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
ya know, goin to meetings and not talking is really a good thing. that way you will be able to focus on what the ones that went before you say and not on what you are gonna say.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 22
Originally Posted by Itchy 
I was the same, and AA was perfect. It was my refuge for the first year of my sobriety, even though I went to my home group sparingly after the first three months. There is nothing like a face to face fellowship of our fellows. Some prefer to not go to meetings and there are recovery methods for them too. AA and Here were my touchstones and support for my successful quitting of both smoking and drinking alcohol. I did not like the one NA meeting I went to either. I can sure help another alcoholic, but have no clue for addicts to other drugs. Heck I don't even know what most of them are when folks mention their DOC here, and I have no experience with addiction to them.
Find a nice home group and settle in. You will also be helping others when you do.
Find a nice home group and settle in. You will also be helping others when you do.
Thanks
Ive also stopped smoking 2 months ago. Clean much.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 22
Thanks everyone.All your words and encouragement helps. I will be checking back most days to get that little bit of hope. Nothing but Love to you all. I think youre all amazing to do what you have done x
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 151
see SMART Recovery on replacing irrational, negative beliefs with more effective ones.
SMART ABC Tutorial
SMART ABC Tutorial
My brain is trying to kill me
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Palo Alto, ca
Posts: 401
Two things, admit you have a problem, realize you can not solve it on your own.
Next, go to AA and USE IT to get YOUR TOOLS; take what you need, leave the rest; the only thing everyone in AA needs is the fellowship so you can recover; you can NOT do it alone. Everything else in AA is "use what YOU need. "And We Are Nice People as Well".
And So It Is.
Next, go to AA and USE IT to get YOUR TOOLS; take what you need, leave the rest; the only thing everyone in AA needs is the fellowship so you can recover; you can NOT do it alone. Everything else in AA is "use what YOU need. "And We Are Nice People as Well".
And So It Is.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 22
Thanks guys. I went to an AA meeting tonight and it was great. Lovely bunch of people,I felt like I fit in. And they all told me to keep going back. Good to feel welcome and wanted!
I even "shared" and it wasnt awkward.. think I'll be doing that again.
Breath,"My brain is trying to kill me" love it. Thats how I feel. All the new thoughts and feelings are overwhelming.
Im definately alot happier after talking with you guys and the ones at AA.
Cheers x
I even "shared" and it wasnt awkward.. think I'll be doing that again.
Breath,"My brain is trying to kill me" love it. Thats how I feel. All the new thoughts and feelings are overwhelming.
Im definately alot happier after talking with you guys and the ones at AA.
Cheers x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
cool beans!! ya know, they prolly arent new thoughts and feelings. they were jus smothered by alcohol.
it works if ya work it so work it yer worth it!!
we may not have it all together,but together we have it all.
it works if ya work it so work it yer worth it!!
we may not have it all together,but together we have it all.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by SoberAddict
Thanks guys. I went to an AA meeting tonight and it was great. Lovely bunch of people,I felt like I fit in. And they all told me to keep going back. Good to feel welcome and wanted!
I even "shared" and it wasnt awkward.. think I'll be doing that again.
Breath,"My brain is trying to kill me" love it. Thats how I feel. All the new thoughts and feelings are overwhelming.
Im definately alot happier after talking with you guys and the ones at AA.
Cheers x
I even "shared" and it wasnt awkward.. think I'll be doing that again.
Breath,"My brain is trying to kill me" love it. Thats how I feel. All the new thoughts and feelings are overwhelming.
Im definately alot happier after talking with you guys and the ones at AA.
Cheers x
How cool is that...You're avatar even looks happier!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
Posts: 344
Another thought: there is probably a "speaker" AA meeting where one person speaks to the group, and no "sharing" is done. We have one here in my small town. I go to hear the stories and to have a few face to face private moments (not in front of the whole group) to tell someone how I'm doing. Some people even sort of sneak in the back and sneak out at the end, which is cool, 'cuz presumably they'd rather not interact but just want to listen.
best wishes to you
best wishes to you
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
You've probably described most all of us, SoberAddict!
Getting sober helped me realize I didn't know how to be patient or positive (ESPECIALLY when it comes to myself).
Ironically, I've been learning that the best way to change something is first to embrace it. I can't learn patience if I'm being impatient with my impatience, you know?!!
We have to accept and love ourselves right where we are first, instead of resisting our feelings and thoughts. It's the resistance and wanting things/ourselves to be different that makes us unhappy and want to run away.
Acceptance is the key! Hugs going out to you......:ghug3
Getting sober helped me realize I didn't know how to be patient or positive (ESPECIALLY when it comes to myself). Ironically, I've been learning that the best way to change something is first to embrace it. I can't learn patience if I'm being impatient with my impatience, you know?!!
We have to accept and love ourselves right where we are first, instead of resisting our feelings and thoughts. It's the resistance and wanting things/ourselves to be different that makes us unhappy and want to run away. Acceptance is the key! Hugs going out to you......:ghug3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 22
Originally Posted by Sapling
How cool is that...You're avatar even looks happier!
Dont want to sit around feeling sorry for myself anymore,doesnt do anyone any good.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 22
Originally Posted by artsoul
You've probably described most all of us, SoberAddict! Getting sober helped me realize I didn't know how to be patient or positive (ESPECIALLY when it comes to myself).
Ironically, I've been learning that the best way to change something is first to embrace it. I can't learn patience if I'm being impatient with my impatience, you know?!! We have to accept and love ourselves right where we are first, instead of resisting our feelings and thoughts. It's the resistance and wanting things/ourselves to be different that makes us unhappy and want to run away.
Acceptance is the key! Hugs going out to you......:ghug3
Getting sober helped me realize I didn't know how to be patient or positive (ESPECIALLY when it comes to myself). Ironically, I've been learning that the best way to change something is first to embrace it. I can't learn patience if I'm being impatient with my impatience, you know?!!
We have to accept and love ourselves right where we are first, instead of resisting our feelings and thoughts. It's the resistance and wanting things/ourselves to be different that makes us unhappy and want to run away. Acceptance is the key! Hugs going out to you......:ghug3
Massive hugs back at ya
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 22
Oooooo Resentful today. Towards my partner. For not listening to me 2 days ago when I voiced calmly what was bothering me ( Usually if Im annoyed at him Ill rant then not discuss it). I told him how I felt about his out of friend town coming into our home and drinking and smoking (we're both 8.5 months sober my partner and I, and I havnt had a ciggie in 8-9 weeks) He started off saying he understood how that would frustrate me however (theres always a however and a justification with him) he encourages his friend to treat this like his own home and he would do the same in his friends house even if his friend wasnt a drinker or smoker anymore. Ive only lived in my partners house with him since December and already struggle with making it feel like my home as his previous partner lived here with him for 10 years.
I know my moodiness and resentment towards him is going to kill us but dont know how to shake it when I feel so greatly let down,like my opinion doesnt count.
Off to work I go. **sigh**
I know my moodiness and resentment towards him is going to kill us but dont know how to shake it when I feel so greatly let down,like my opinion doesnt count.
Off to work I go. **sigh**
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