Malachi

Ok, so here's the situation maybe you guys can help me with. I am a messy person, always have been, I hate cleaning. I live in a studio apartment with not much space and two cats, so things can get messy very easily. I've been living on my own for 5 years now, and pretty soon after I moved into my own place, to make cleaning more fun/less boring, I would have a couple of drinks as I cleaned. Over the course of 5 years, a couple of drinks turned into a couple bottles of wine. Anyway, so here is the problem: I'm on day 4 today. My apartment is a mess and causing me a lot of stress. I want to clean up, but it is such a huge trigger for me. What can I do? Thanks so much.

Sapling

Make sure you have no alcohol in it...Lock the door...Put some music on and clean it. Cleaning isn't a trigger for you...It's an excuse...You don't drink...No matter what the excuse is.

hypochondriac

I used to drink to make a lot of things 'more fun' Malachi. Practically everything in fact. Really the 'more fun' argument is just another excuse to drink. You will have to do lots of things sober for the first time and cleaning up is just going to be one of many. But well done for recognising it as a trigger. You'll still have to do the cleaning (or get a cleaner if you can afford it ) but maybe just try approaching it differently. Do a little bit every day if you just can't stand it. I'm a messy person too and before I quit drinking I always blamed it on the booze. Turns out I'm just messy! x

Malachi

Thanks, you guys. I guess it's like when I first quit smoking, I felt like I was starting over with everything, had to learn how to drive without a cigarette, eat without a cigarette. I 'll just have to learn how to clean sans alcohol. Thanks for your help.

Sapling

You just have to learn a new way of living..Where alcohol isn't part of it. I'd recommend you look into some kind of recovery program to assist you. I also think you'll feel a lot better when you get the place cleaned up.

IndaMiricale

You can be free of these chains

FredG

What Sapling said - DITTO

artsoul

Yeah, it's probably hard to be too messy when you have a studio apartment. I've always been embarrassed by my own messiness but the truth is I'd rather do other things, so I'm getting better at figuring out how much I'm comfortable with and at what point it starts to get to me.

Lately, I've been committing to an hour a day to do nothing but clean. If I feel like it, I can do more, but an hour is doable for me. The biggest hurdle is getting started, so even if you start off with a goal of cleaning for 10 minutes per day, you'll feel good that you accomplished something.

Sapling

Look at it like this lfh4555....If you don't have a drink...You won't need a drink.

A guy in my homegroup who celebrates 50 years in AA this summer told me that...How simple can you get?

sharp75

my house is a s...t tip at the moment because i just sit on my ass allday worrying about everything. i can have certain days where iclean from top to bottom and everything looks spotless and i feel so proud and promise myself to keep on top of it so i dont have to go through hours of cleaning by letting it get in a state again but i just cant seem to manage it. even at times when iv tidied i still feel like it looks messy. iv seen some peoples houses tghat look like show homes and i dunno how they keep it like that.

soberbrooke

I am having such blocks when it comes to cleaning, or in my case moving from one house to the next! I use to drink wine or smoke a funny when I would clean or unpack my belongings.
I am now sitting in my new house, with a whole bunch of boxes and not knowing where to start.
I liked the post about if all I take is 10 min a day, then that's what I should do. I will try that - if all I take is 10 minutes today, maybe it will turn into more, but it seems doable if all I have to focus on is 10 min!
Thanks for posting this thread!!!!

sharp75

also can i add that in my early stages of drinking, i had a habit of buying drink whenever i wanted to go on the computer and was able to not drink when i had a night off from the computer. it was a habit that i felt i needed drink to be on the computer but now iv been doing it that long i drink everynight so the habit needs to be broke before it results in you wanting a drink for every scenario in your life. like what many people have said its all excuses, i made excuses to drink when i was feeling happy(ie i might have got a job interview and would make an excuse to drink to celebrate) and promise that it will be my last drink but never is and when i have a bad day i had the excuse that i need to drink cos iv had such a bad day. im now at the point where i drink no matter the situation as i have developed an addiction through my excuses.

Sapling

You know what my biggest trigger was sharp75?.....Air....Every time I got near it I drank.

FredG

Hi - I've got some excuses that I didn't use up before I quit, to justify my drinking, if anyone wants to borrow some

Malachi

I'm going to try cleaning for ten minutes a day, good idea artsoul. You guys are right, I will definitely feel better when this place is cleaned up. It is sort of a reflection of my mind. Sapling, I've been to two AA meetings and I'm reading the Big Book right now, but haven't started on any steps. Maybe I'll go to a meeting today. Thanks you guys.

Sapling

Good...Study that book...Everything you need to know is in it...Except the cleaning your studio part...It will tell you how to clean house....The studio is up to you. Don't drink today...Go to a meeting...Listen...And things will get better. I promise.

regeneration

Malachi, I think the 10 minutes at a time thing is the way to go (and staying sober of course).

I'm really messy (like my mother and everyone else before me) and I've noticed, some people do it more naturally than others (my 11 year old niece spends her time lining up her toys/clothes and looking at them proudly).

I asked a very tidy friend how he did it, his words "I'm always doing bits as I go along". Completely new concept to me. I thought you had to do big sessions. Start with the big things (working on being sober) and do little bits of cleaning as you go along.

This morning I've tidied away suitcases (I've been away twice recently) and started tidying things off the floor. Going to do the bathroom next. Joy.