FredG

When I quit drinking, I removed the drunken part from "a drunken SOB".

Took lots of work and AAs steps 4,5,6 to change. Now I'm a much nicer SOB and even like me most days

Notmyrealname

Bad memories fade, it just takes time. You need to fill up your head everyday with new, good memories, and good things you feel proud of, or things that make you happy, and in a couple of years you'll be all about the positivity.

Sometimes it's harder to forgive yourself than to get other people to forgive you, but you will have to forgive yourself, at some point. It's part of healing and moving forward.

bloss

In my experience, feelings are easier dealt with when sober...congratulations on your sobriety...take care...whatever works, works...

MrsKing

Thanks again everyone. I'm feeling much more positive today and realise that the more I read/speak about it and realise I am not alone the better I feel about myself and my past. I think that time does heal... I mean, I feel better than I did at the beginning so it is getting better. One day I'm hoping for this new me to be the me that others remember, rather than the drunken mess, but I think probably that's something IIIII need to accept rather than believe that my happiness will depend on everyone else thinking that. I need to realise that I have changed and that is who I am now, not my past. It is very hard, though.

Also - I can't remember who posted this but it was a few days ago on a different thread - I saw the quote "Failure isn't falling down but refusing to get up", and that has made me feel so much better. It's made me realise I haven't failed and that is an enormous weight off my shoulders.

Thanks again... so much! I appreciate every response.

Zencat

I'm happy that you are working through the stuff that has been troubling you. Time dose heal as letting go will help you move above what happened in the past. Not allowing what happen 'way back then' to hinder the future your are creating for yourself is amazing progress.

It can be difficult to change for the better. What people think about you is not something you need to be concerned. Its more about what you believe about yourself, what you know you can change and be brave about the person you will be that matters.

I feel its important to be checked out by a medical professional. I would like to diagnosis you, but that would be gravely irresponsible on my part to do so. I hope you find healing.