Lost3000

I'm at a crossroads with a friend/acquaintance.

This is a person I used to meet at a bar, met her at a bar, and we've never done anything but.

She contacted me not too long ago and wanted to meet for a drink. I told her I quit, and she offered lunch instead. Thing is...

I have this icky feeling about meeting her. I really just don't want to.

But I don't want to do a lot of stuff. So usually I force myself to because I think that before I'd do that as a way of avoiding people. I'm finding myself more and more wanting to hang out with my new AA friends. I'm much more at ease with them.

Should I still meet her for lunch??

Sapling

Always go with your gut feelings Lost...Maybe sometime down the road.

Lost3000

Hi Sapling. The problem with my gut feeling is that I just don't know it anymore. Not that long ago my "gut" was really my alcoholism, keeping me isolated and doing the same thing, not growing personally. So now I don't know the difference. If it's my gut or my old alcoholic voice.

Sapling

Maybe it's just me...But I don't think your alcoholic voice would tell you not to go...Run it by your sponsor.

Lost3000

I am not meeting her. Just don't feel right about it.

Mark75

Step 11 is the antidote...

coming_clean

you don't HAVE to



u decide

u are in control

Lost3000

I'm not on Step 11, so this means nothing to me right now.

coming_clean

I never did steps...
only small ones...
this is my day 47/48 or something.
dunno.

u just don't have to.

Lost3000

Love it. Simple advice.

m1k3

Simple question.

Do you like her and would you enjoy seeing her? If yes, have lunch, if no then don't.

Just meet someplace that doesn't serve alcohol.

waw545

AA recommends that you stay away from the old playmates and play grounds. They will pull you down quicker than you can pull them up.

Lost3000

No and no. I guess I never really thought of it that way. Thank you so much for putting that in perspective for me. I was concentrating more on my old urge to isolate. Even when we drank together I didn't care much for her. But this time I thought maybe it was me.

Lost3000

Yeah, I should know better. I did drop all of my old drinking buddies. This one wasn't part of that crowd so I was thinking she was different. But I just realized, I don't like her anyhow! I won't enjoy hanging out with her.

Bruno1979

^^^^^ what he said ^^^^^

Bored3

Hey Lost3000,

If you don't like her, don't meet her. If you think that meeting her will lead you into old habits, don't meet her.

I wouldn't recommend isolating yourself, but, from what you say, you're not if you have the passion to meet up with AA friends.

It's up to you. If you don't want to, don't. What you need to ask yourself is will you regret not meeting her?

Personally, I think it sounds like she was the type of person the old you would acquaint themselves with, and the new you wants to focus on new things and people.

Lost3000

This sounds right. I went to the mtg and am glad I did. I don't regret not meeting her for lunch. Thanks so much!