Had a relapse
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 514
Had a relapse
Hi guys,
I'm basically posting this for myself, I've had a nightmare day at work, everything has gone wrong that couldve gone wrong so I have called the pub for a beer.
I can only shake my head at myself and pick myself up again tomorrow. There's no hard feelings at home about it. my wife doesn't know how I feel about drinking so just thinks that I'm being a normal bloke and calling for a few pints after work and who knows, probably I am. And I've been out working since 5am so having a beer at 4pm is acceptable in my mind at the moment......I know what you're thinking.
Roll on day 1 tomorrow.
Bruno.
I
I'm basically posting this for myself, I've had a nightmare day at work, everything has gone wrong that couldve gone wrong so I have called the pub for a beer.
I can only shake my head at myself and pick myself up again tomorrow. There's no hard feelings at home about it. my wife doesn't know how I feel about drinking so just thinks that I'm being a normal bloke and calling for a few pints after work and who knows, probably I am. And I've been out working since 5am so having a beer at 4pm is acceptable in my mind at the moment......I know what you're thinking.
Roll on day 1 tomorrow.
Bruno.
I
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
You may want to consider if hiding your no-drinking plans from your wife is working against you. I found the more ways I "committed" to recovery the easier actually recovering became.
Secrets, my friend, can lead us to our next drunk..... (not necessarily this one, or JUST this one, but secrets in general).
Secrets, my friend, can lead us to our next drunk..... (not necessarily this one, or JUST this one, but secrets in general).
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Near Scranton PA
Posts: 424
I concur.
I had to tell everyone; family, friends, coworkers, so I wouldn't have any "safe" corners to backslide. I'd have no hope of keeping myself honest otherwise. And, for the most part, they've all been very helpful and supportive.
I had to tell everyone; family, friends, coworkers, so I wouldn't have any "safe" corners to backslide. I'd have no hope of keeping myself honest otherwise. And, for the most part, they've all been very helpful and supportive.
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
I completely agree. I tried a few times before and never made it past a day of sobriety. They weren't really full attempts I see now. I didn't tell my husband or anyone else for that matter (certainly not others!).
This go around I felt more serious about it. I told my husband nearly everything (have since filled in the blanks) and told a coworker. I didn't tell my coworker that I'm an alcoholic but did tell her I quit.
I didn't realize it at the time but it was a type of accountability for me. Good luck Bruno - today's another day!
This go around I felt more serious about it. I told my husband nearly everything (have since filled in the blanks) and told a coworker. I didn't tell my coworker that I'm an alcoholic but did tell her I quit.
I didn't realize it at the time but it was a type of accountability for me. Good luck Bruno - today's another day!
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Bruno, I wanted to point out that while I came clean, I didn't open myself up to everyone and anyone. For example, my mother does not know. My one brother knows I quit, but doesn't know I'm an alcoholic - although I have told him in not so many words. He may have caught on or not, I don't know. I told my husband everything. And of course, I am an open book in AA mtgs, which I feel is my only place to truly be myself.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by Bruno1979 
I totally agree,
Its time to come clean.........to everybody.
Its time to come clean.........to everybody.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 514
Thanks for the replies guys,
I am back home now,
I had 5 pints with my mates and they are mates not just drinking mates, and to be fair at the moment I don't feel too bad. I'm looking forward to a stir fry cooked by my lovely wife and putting the children to bed shortly.
It all sounds like a nice story but deep down I know it isn't, and tomorrow morning when I wake up for work I will not be a happy bunny with myself,
Thanks again,
Bruno.
I am back home now,
I had 5 pints with my mates and they are mates not just drinking mates, and to be fair at the moment I don't feel too bad. I'm looking forward to a stir fry cooked by my lovely wife and putting the children to bed shortly.
It all sounds like a nice story but deep down I know it isn't, and tomorrow morning when I wake up for work I will not be a happy bunny with myself,
Thanks again,
Bruno.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Bruno, you've had plenty of hugs of support. Sometimes a slap is supportive too. Here's mine.
Half-a$$ed attempts yield half-a$$ed results. You want to drink, drink. You want to quit, quit with all the heart, and effort, and support you can muster.
I'm blessed to be sober. You can be too.
Half-a$$ed attempts yield half-a$$ed results. You want to drink, drink. You want to quit, quit with all the heart, and effort, and support you can muster.
I'm blessed to be sober. You can be too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 514
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
Bruno, you've had plenty of hugs of support. Sometimes a slap is supportive too. Here's mine.
Half-a$$ed attempts yield half-a$$ed results. You want to drink, drink. You want to quit, quit with all the heart, and effort, and support you can muster.
I'm blessed to be sober. So can you.
Half-a$$ed attempts yield half-a$$ed results. You want to drink, drink. You want to quit, quit with all the heart, and effort, and support you can muster.
I'm blessed to be sober. So can you.
I know how pathetic it is and I know what needs to be done.
In theory it is so easy.
It will happen though,
It will have to.
Thanks again mate,
Bruno.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 96
Bruno, I "quit" many times without telling anyone, and then could go back to drinking again easily. . .without telling anyone. A day, three days, sometimes it felt like a huge accomplishment to me but when no one else knew, no one could pat me on the back and say "good job" or hold me to task when I went back to drinking.
Sounds like you have a lovely family life and wife who loves and supports you. I know that I didn't tell my husband those first many times because in my heart I didn't really want to have to quit and I knew he'd be disappointed in me if I told him one thing and did another. SO, it was a big deal when I finally PROMISED him that I was done with drinking. And he had to put up with a lot those first few weeks, so if he hadn't known what was going on I imagine he wouldn't have been so understanding.
If nothing else, do it for your kids. My daughter (4 and a half) is one of my greatest inspirations to stay sober. I want to be there for her, set a good example, and not be preoccupied with wanting to get a drink instead of paying attention to her.
Best of luck to you!
Daisy
Sounds like you have a lovely family life and wife who loves and supports you. I know that I didn't tell my husband those first many times because in my heart I didn't really want to have to quit and I knew he'd be disappointed in me if I told him one thing and did another. SO, it was a big deal when I finally PROMISED him that I was done with drinking. And he had to put up with a lot those first few weeks, so if he hadn't known what was going on I imagine he wouldn't have been so understanding.
If nothing else, do it for your kids. My daughter (4 and a half) is one of my greatest inspirations to stay sober. I want to be there for her, set a good example, and not be preoccupied with wanting to get a drink instead of paying attention to her.
Best of luck to you!
Daisy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 514
Originally Posted by ADaisyifyoudo
Bruno, I "quit" many times without telling anyone, and then could go back to drinking again easily. . .without telling anyone. A day, three days, sometimes it felt like a huge accomplishment to me but when no one else knew, no one could pat me on the back and say "good job" or hold me to task when I went back to drinking.
Sounds like you have a lovely family life and wife who loves and supports you. I know that I didn't tell my husband those first many times because in my heart I didn't really want to have to quit and I knew he'd be disappointed in me if I told him one thing and did another. SO, it was a big deal when I finally PROMISED him that I was done with drinking. And he had to put up with a lot those first few weeks, so if he hadn't known what was going on I imagine he wouldn't have been so understanding.
If nothing else, do it for your kids. My daughter (4 and a half) is one of my greatest inspirations to stay sober. I want to be there for her, set a good example, and not be preoccupied with wanting to get a drink instead of paying attention to her.
Best of luck to you!
Daisy
Sounds like you have a lovely family life and wife who loves and supports you. I know that I didn't tell my husband those first many times because in my heart I didn't really want to have to quit and I knew he'd be disappointed in me if I told him one thing and did another. SO, it was a big deal when I finally PROMISED him that I was done with drinking. And he had to put up with a lot those first few weeks, so if he hadn't known what was going on I imagine he wouldn't have been so understanding.
If nothing else, do it for your kids. My daughter (4 and a half) is one of my greatest inspirations to stay sober. I want to be there for her, set a good example, and not be preoccupied with wanting to get a drink instead of paying attention to her.
Best of luck to you!
Daisy
That is such an inspirational post and thank you very much,
It seems that there are many people who are in the same situation as myself,
My kids are 9, 6 and 4 and I love them with all of my heart as you can imagine, they are my inspiration too but so far drinking hasn't really bitten me on my backside and told me to stop.
I can feel it closing in on me though and I know that this happy lifestyle as it seems is about to go bang if I don't stop the drinking very soon.
Thanks again,
Bruno.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
I'd be interested in what you intend to do differently this time Bruno?
I don't know what your longest stretch of sober time has been but you have posted a few 'relapses' on here so maybe you're thinking that you can just carry on drinking like that...just drinking when you've had a really stressful day..? Maybe it's time to find a new way to deal with stress? x
I don't know what your longest stretch of sober time has been but you have posted a few 'relapses' on here so maybe you're thinking that you can just carry on drinking like that...just drinking when you've had a really stressful day..? Maybe it's time to find a new way to deal with stress? x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 514
Originally Posted by hypochondriac
I'd be interested in what you intend to do differently this time Bruno?
I don't know what your longest stretch of sober time has been but you have posted a few 'relapses' on here so maybe you're thinking that you can just carry on drinking like that...just drinking when you've had a really stressful day..? Maybe it's time to find a new way to deal with stress? x
I don't know what your longest stretch of sober time has been but you have posted a few 'relapses' on here so maybe you're thinking that you can just carry on drinking like that...just drinking when you've had a really stressful day..? Maybe it's time to find a new way to deal with stress? x
I totally agree mate,
I've had my tea and I'm on my 2nd pint of water now and to be honest I don't feel any better than I did before I relapsed,
A few months ago before I joined this site I would be hammering the wine now heading towards oblivion,
Overall though drinking in general is still destroying me as a person and I need to completely cut it out and as you say try and find other sources of stress relief instead of running off to the pub at every opportunity.
What do you suggest as a stress relief?
Thank you,
Bruno.
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
I forgot to mention that I told my coworker I quit, not that I'm an alcoholic, as I felt she could serve as a type of ally during my work social events. Turns out she doesn't drink either (non-alkie, doesn't drink b/c of headaches). And sure enough, here I am. I'll be at a work retreat in a few days and of course the dinner is preceded by cocktail hour. Said coworker suggested we show up late for cocktail hour "since we don't drink" and then settle right in to the dinner.
I sure am glad I told her I quit a few months ago. I'm thinking I can sort of hide/ride on her coattails as well - when drinks are offered it won't be just me saying no, it'll be more of a no, WE don't drink. Making me feel a little bit less conspicuous. (Even though I've come to the realization that know no one really notices our drinking, we just THINK they do).
I sure am glad I told her I quit a few months ago. I'm thinking I can sort of hide/ride on her coattails as well - when drinks are offered it won't be just me saying no, it'll be more of a no, WE don't drink. Making me feel a little bit less conspicuous. (Even though I've come to the realization that know no one really notices our drinking, we just THINK they do).
Originally Posted by Lost3000
Bruno, I wanted to point out that while I came clean, I didn't open myself up to everyone and anyone. For example, my mother does not know. My one brother knows I quit, but doesn't know I'm an alcoholic - although I have told him in not so many words. He may have caught on or not, I don't know. I told my husband everything. And of course, I am an open book in AA mtgs, which I feel is my only place to truly be myself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 514
Originally Posted by Lost3000
I forgot to mention that I told my coworker I quit, not that I'm an alcoholic, as I felt she could serve as a type of ally during my work social events. Turns out she doesn't drink either (non-alkie, doesn't drink b/c of headaches). And sure enough, here I am. I'll be at a work retreat in a few days and of course the dinner is preceded by cocktail hour. Said coworker suggested we show up late for cocktail hour "since we don't drink" and then settle right in to the dinner.
I sure am glad I told her I quit a few months ago. I'm thinking I can sort of hide/ride on her coattails as well - when drinks are offered it won't be just me saying no, it'll be more of a no, WE don't drink. Making me feel a little bit less conspicuous. (Even though I've come to the realization that know no one really notices our drinking, we just THINK they do).
I sure am glad I told her I quit a few months ago. I'm thinking I can sort of hide/ride on her coattails as well - when drinks are offered it won't be just me saying no, it'll be more of a no, WE don't drink. Making me feel a little bit less conspicuous. (Even though I've come to the realization that know no one really notices our drinking, we just THINK they do).
How much were you drinking at your peak if you don't mind me asking,
Thanks for your posts,
Bruno.
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Originally Posted by Bruno1979
What do you suggest as a stress relief
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