A Need To Organize.....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 32
A Need To Organize.....
.....after years of quiet chaos!
In the 5 weeks or so since getting clean, I'm slowly but steadily feeling the need to organize everything! My house, my finances, closets, files, even my car. I realize that while using (opiates) I did the minimum to make everything look fine on the outside so as not to draw attention to the mess - literally and figuratively - that was lurking inside. A pretty accurate parallel to my life - distract 'em with pretty and charming, but please don't look too close!
The good part of this is understanding what I've been neglecting for so long and doing something about it. Getting things done is very satisfying,
The bad part of it is knowing how closely it mirrors the addict I am. It reminds me of what a crappy job I'd been doing with basic life stuff for a lot of years and it chews on my shame. Bleh. It's overwhelming at times.
Anyone else know what I'm talking about? How do I forgive myself, hurdle the shame and move the heck on?
In the 5 weeks or so since getting clean, I'm slowly but steadily feeling the need to organize everything! My house, my finances, closets, files, even my car. I realize that while using (opiates) I did the minimum to make everything look fine on the outside so as not to draw attention to the mess - literally and figuratively - that was lurking inside. A pretty accurate parallel to my life - distract 'em with pretty and charming, but please don't look too close!
The good part of this is understanding what I've been neglecting for so long and doing something about it. Getting things done is very satisfying,
The bad part of it is knowing how closely it mirrors the addict I am. It reminds me of what a crappy job I'd been doing with basic life stuff for a lot of years and it chews on my shame. Bleh. It's overwhelming at times.
Anyone else know what I'm talking about? How do I forgive myself, hurdle the shame and move the heck on?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,226
Hear you! I am enjoying taking spiritual, as well as physical and environmental inventory.
A label maker is my new favorite toy. Hell, if my kids stand in one place too long, I am tempted to slap a "Boy, Age 2" on the little one!
A label maker is my new favorite toy. Hell, if my kids stand in one place too long, I am tempted to slap a "Boy, Age 2" on the little one!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,937
Yes, I know exactly what you are talking about. I've been organizing and realigning many aspects of my life, cleaning out, throwing away, selling stuff on Craigslist, etc.
A big project for me is trying to digitize my life. I bought a scanner and I'm trying to go paperless in my home and my office. It's a big task.
A big project for me is trying to digitize my life. I bought a scanner and I'm trying to go paperless in my home and my office. It's a big task.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
In recovery, I went from one extreme to the other in the beginning. It is taking a long time to get the balance that normal folks seem to have naturally.
One of the oldtimers said that alcoholics were born with "stick shifts" while normal folks got the "automatics"... I can certainly identify.
All the best.
Bob R
One of the oldtimers said that alcoholics were born with "stick shifts" while normal folks got the "automatics"... I can certainly identify.
All the best.
Bob R
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Change4good 
Hear you! I am enjoying taking spiritual, as well as physical and environmental inventory.
A label maker is my new favorite toy. Hell, if my kids stand in one place too long, I am tempted to slap a "Boy, Age 2" on the little one!
A label maker is my new favorite toy. Hell, if my kids stand in one place too long, I am tempted to slap a "Boy, Age 2" on the little one!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,348
I can totally relate to that!! I think it's probably healthy as long as our new happiness/well-being doesn't depend on that organization (like we're just displacing the addiction). As far as letting go of the guilt, you'll get there, just give yourself some time to work through things at your own pace.
Happy organizing!
Happy organizing!
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