Weasel1966

I managed to go 5 days. Over a weekend. A record for me. But with my drinking failures this last week and the drugs last night I am hurting inside. I tell myself to go easy on me. Try not to beat myself up so I have enough strength to stay sober. Not to waste all my energy on yesterday's.

The power of decision is my own. What in my head tells me it's ok to drink when I KNOW otherwise.

I have had no sleep all night. Feel like hell. My sole cannot take much more. I need to value myself.

Yadda yadda yadda................. * sigh *

Dee74

Maybe you need more support and a more definite plan, weasel?
Maybe it's time to call in some reinforcements?

D

langkah

Yeah, it's really crazy-making when we are forced by circumstances to look closely at this and start to doubt our ability to change it for too long at all.

Why not try again, but harder?

Weasel1966

I have no plans on giving up. Ever! My support system is weak. No family. My brother knew I went to rehab before and at holidays still pushes the drinks on me.

I will reach out to those I can. Just hurting today and it felt good to tell someone.

BTW.... I can spell soul! :-)

2granddaughters

I had to admit defeat over alcohol. I found sobriety and peace in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous... it may help you as well.

All the best.

Bob R

foodie1

Hi Weasel, sounds like you do need a better support system. AA or some other type of recovery friends to talk with. Glad you're here!

OCDDan

hi Weasel, i (and some of us here) know exactly how you feel, the depression should go away once you sober up and stop using your head as a punching bag. (that's what i used to tell myself too). have a good meal

artsoul

I think we can all relate to that. I drank compulsively for years. No sooner would I have the urge to drink than I'd be out the door on the way to the liquor store. Thinking didn't even enter into it.

By the time I got here, the sane part of me was a tiny fraction of the space in my head. I takes time to build that part up and exercise it, like a muscle. It felt like a full time job for a while, but it really did get easier.

Learning not to act on every urge or feeling is hard at first, but you did it for 5 days and you can do it again!