SoWoryd24

My boyfriend has been lying to me about his past, and currently his present addiction too. He finally came clean about the fact that he has been slipping and using pills on a regular basis over the last three weeks. I already knew but confronting an addict is difficult. His father and I have been in constant contact over the past week. His dad told me about his previous problem with heroin. 5 years, 3 overdoses, 2 years in jail- and habits he clearly can't break.
My boyfriend swears he is not using heroin, but I'm afraid he is lying. I found a piece of foil with a white crystal like residue on it. I tasted it- very bitter. Also I have been finding qtips (used) in his bag, and in his car. I'm lost because I don't know what to do or how to approach this. Also I have no clue what to look for when it comes to this. I'm very naive as far as heroin and opiates is concerned.
He came clean a few days ago, said he needs to stop and thinks he can do it on his own, and wants to have me randomly drug test him once a week. But my research says that opiates/opioids only last up to 24 hrs. I'm so confused and need advice. Please!

sugarbear1

Welcome to SR!

We have a Friends and Family Forum if you scroll down from the Newcomer's Forum. You may find a lot of people who are in similar situations as you.

I strongly suggest you get to an Al Anon or Nar Anon group. I don't know how long you've been with him, but is this how you want to spend your adult life? Searching for evidence? Don't you want a relationship where you have shared goals, shared experiences and shared growth? I've been where you are and it isn't how I wanted to live....

I wish you well.
Prayers, love, & hugs,

Dee74

Hi SoWoryd24 - welcome

I think any foil with white powder in it is cause for concern, no matter what it is.

I know you want to help, but be careful you don't end up doing, or wanting to do, a lot of the work that should be your boyfriend's to do.

It's his job to manage his own recovery - I don't think it's fair he's asking you to be his sober policeman.

Think about the support you need in all of this - & remember your bf has lots of access to support should he choose to use it.

I hope you'll check out the FF forums

D

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I would definitely step away from randomly drug-testing him. He needs to get sober for himself and in my opinion, you need to trust him if you're going to have a relationship. Random drug-testing of him is not going to lead to a healthy relationship.

I hope that you will seek support for yourself.