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Old 04-08-2012, 08:13 AM   #1 (permalink)
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I'm going to talk to the rehab place tomorrow which I'm pretty nervous. I feel like I need help that I can't do it on my own. If you remember, I'm not a nightly binge drinker. When I cave in to my urge, I start drinking and just don't stop. Once I wake up, I start drinking again. Nothing else matter, work, sex or money. I sit on the bed at a hotel and drink and watch tv. Time does not matter and this time around it went on for 15 days start. I had to go to the hospital because I just didn't want to stop. Had a 0.332 BAC in my system at the time but I would guess when I start it was almost 0.400.

Last year, I would go for 3 days straight and stop but now I can't. I'm sober now and would like to know if anyone who has a problem with alcohol is like me? Someone who drinks all days and all night for weeks on end. I ask because a lot of people here binge night and then stops in the morning.
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Old 04-08-2012, 08:18 AM   #2 (permalink)
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You just difined what I usually would experience as a vacation, it was stopping at the end that would get me, panic attacks real bad, but it looks like you've made it through the initial withdrawal, all I know is that you have to want to stop in order to do it, good luck Action!
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Old 04-08-2012, 08:23 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ACT10Npack View Post
I'm going to talk to the rehab place tomorrow which I'm pretty nervous. I feel like I need help that I can't do it on my own. If you remember, I'm not a nightly binge drinker. When I cave in to my urge, I start drinking and just don't stop. Once I wake up, I start drinking again. Nothing else matter, work, sex or money. I sit on the bed at a hotel and drink and watch tv. Time does not matter and this time around it went on for 15 days start. I had to go to the hospital because I just didn't want to stop. Had a 0.332 BAC in my system at the time but I would guess when I start it was almost 0.400.

Last year, I would go for 3 days straight and stop but now I can't. I'm sober now and would like to know if anyone who has a problem with alcohol is like me? Someone who drinks all days and all night for weeks on end. I ask because a lot of people here binge night and then stops in the morning.
I did that for two years straight....It almost killed me.
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Old 04-08-2012, 08:29 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I have no idea what my BAC was but I did that too. Once for 3 months I think.

I didn't want to stop either and ironically I don't want to drink now that I'm sober.
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Old 04-08-2012, 08:30 AM   #5 (permalink)
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ActionPack, are you going to AA meetings?

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Old 04-08-2012, 08:32 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Yeah, once I started, it's 24-hour round the clock drinking with a few naps here and there. You're right, nothing else matters - I would call into work days at a time. I didn't eat. I cancelled/ignored all appointments, pre-engagements, responsibilities. Once it got to around 3 days, I knew that horrible withdrawals would start if I stopped drinking. So I would make up my mind to keep at it ...alcohol withdrawals are hell. I'm sure you know that already.

I also used to go on 2 or 3 day benders and think "phew! that was ugly, can't believe I wasted 3 whole days of my life like that". Well, then I started on the 7, 10, 15, etc day benders and that became normal. It's so hard to stop once it's started. The crazy thing is, for me, it would start with just 1 beer. I would say I'm having 1 beer and that's it. It turns into a 2 week thing. I know how you feel, and you sound like you're at a fork in the road now. Get the help you need bud.
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Old 04-08-2012, 08:36 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Oh I can identify. During my last run, I thought I'd had it under control. I wouldn't touch a drop Monday through Friday. But after Friday night's afternoon shift, I'd go hard until Sunday night. A co-worker of mine would do the same. He would be so tore up, that when I'd pick him up for Monday's afternoon shift, he'd be shaking VIOLENTLY. And he is only 24 years old! I'd say, "Jon man, are you really sure you're okay to work?" And he'd reply, "Yeah man, I just took a benzo, the shakes will go away."


...............................So................. ....

The moral of the story is this: Binge drinking can be just as harmful, if not WORSE than daily drinking. I always remember one thing: It's not the amount of alcohol we drank, it's the EFFECT it had on us!

Anyhow, I wish you the best of luck in your recovery. You come around here quite a bit, and you'll get the swing of being sober. Just keep coming back!
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Old 04-08-2012, 08:44 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Toward the end, I was drinking all day long. I'd wake up in the morning shaking and the only thing that helped was a couple of shots of whiskey I'd take before I even got out of bed. Once those would kick in, I'd be more steady but well on my way to getting drunk. I'd do a shot here and a shot there all day long and by the time the evening rolled around, it was "game on." I'd drink until I'd black out, then I'd pass out, wake up in the morning, rinse and repeat. Awful way to live, for sure.

If you think rehab is the best option for you, I'd say go for it. At the very least, perhaps a medical detox to get the alcohol safely out of your system, and then a solid program of recovery.
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Old 04-08-2012, 09:26 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Yes, I was exactly like you. My last binge lasted over 2 years. Not one sober day that I remember. I sought treatment when I knew that death was the next stop for me if something didn't change. It wasn't easy, but it was so worth it.
Somethings I had to learn was to ask for help.....then take it. To forgive myself for being sick. That I don't have to do this alone. There is a lot more, but you will learn as you go. Good luck, we are here for you.

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Old 04-08-2012, 04:36 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I was like you too...5 years worth with only occasional days off due to illness or lack of funds.

You can turn it around - you really need to commit to recovery tho I think...it can be a hard road.

D
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Old 04-08-2012, 05:51 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I was like you. I had to find a program of recovery because I couldn't do it alone and was afraid to be alone because I may end up doing it again.

Rehab sounds like a great idea, and why not go to an AA meeting tonight or tomorrow? The meetings are full of people just like us. You can do this, you are not alone.

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