Hello from the underground
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Truckee, CA
Posts: 30
Hello from the underground
Hi all you beautiful people.
I've been lurking and learning here for the past few weeks. I was proud when I signed up a couple of weeks ago, but then I didn't post, but said THANKS to a lot of your collective and diverse wisdom. I'm just not that use to using posting , email, writing chatting etc.. as a means of support--but I'm putting forth the actions and planning sobriety one day at a time (in the next couple of days--and I need all the support I can get.
I'm a bit nervous about "detoxing" I have quit 3-5 days without any issues in the past --except the psychological. But the past few months my tolerance went up as did my alcohol intake, and I notice when I skip a day or 2 , I can't sleep maybe more than 2 hours a night tolerable night sweats, and this weird adrenaline shooting wake up call every time I'm about to nod off. In the day time, I force myself to eat, drink plenty of water, but feel a lot anxiety. This too shall pass, I know from listening to your posts. I have to taper-have done it before--no job, health insurance and big debt on my sterling credit--this year from hell. But I see people embracing sobriety and losing the obsession towards a better life.
But I'm scared.
I've been lurking and learning here for the past few weeks. I was proud when I signed up a couple of weeks ago, but then I didn't post, but said THANKS to a lot of your collective and diverse wisdom. I'm just not that use to using posting , email, writing chatting etc.. as a means of support--but I'm putting forth the actions and planning sobriety one day at a time (in the next couple of days--and I need all the support I can get.
I'm a bit nervous about "detoxing" I have quit 3-5 days without any issues in the past --except the psychological. But the past few months my tolerance went up as did my alcohol intake, and I notice when I skip a day or 2 , I can't sleep maybe more than 2 hours a night tolerable night sweats, and this weird adrenaline shooting wake up call every time I'm about to nod off. In the day time, I force myself to eat, drink plenty of water, but feel a lot anxiety. This too shall pass, I know from listening to your posts. I have to taper-have done it before--no job, health insurance and big debt on my sterling credit--this year from hell. But I see people embracing sobriety and losing the obsession towards a better life.
But I'm scared.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Truckee, CA
Posts: 30
I know . Everyone is different and nobody is equipped to give medical advice-except the strong recommendation to see a doc. No I really can't afford anymore outstanding bills right now. The taper method will have to work--it's better than drinking 6-8 drinks 2 days in a row last Mon-Wed. Then I did 4 Thursday and last night 3. This afternoon I'll head into town- 20 miles -40 minutes away to do laundry and I'll pick up a 32 ounce for after 6pm.. Once I'm back at home don't have the urge to run out again. Just hope I can hang on to SR through the Weekend for support-and maybe start an AF day Mon or Tues.
My next plan is to just hang on to here for support, buy the Alan Carr and AVRT books.
Lifering seems more in line for me than AA, but the meeting is an hour and a half a way.
My next plan is to just hang on to here for support, buy the Alan Carr and AVRT books.
Lifering seems more in line for me than AA, but the meeting is an hour and a half a way.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Hi KaliCali 
Many parts of the US have free or low cost clinics now.
Free/Low-Cost/Sliding-Scale Clinics
I really recommend you seek some medical supervision - if you've read my story you'll understand why
Welcome to the posting side of SR
D
Many parts of the US have free or low cost clinics now.
Free/Low-Cost/Sliding-Scale Clinics
I really recommend you seek some medical supervision - if you've read my story you'll understand why
Welcome to the posting side of SR
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,511
I don't advocate tapering. It's really hard to make it work. And, I agree about talking to a dr before you detox. It can be very dangerous.
I'm really glad you have posted and that you want to live a sober life.
I'm really glad you have posted and that you want to live a sober life.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Hi ****! It's hard to let go of the life you've become used to. Brave to reach out for the new life you know you need & want. It sounds like you have a great attitude & determination.
I felt better once I convinced myself I wasn't losing anything - I was leaving behind an old, sick way of life that didn't work for me anymore. Hold on to thoughts of a better & healthier life as you go through this rough time. It will soon be over, and you never have to go through this again. We're here for you - lean on us.
I felt better once I convinced myself I wasn't losing anything - I was leaving behind an old, sick way of life that didn't work for me anymore. Hold on to thoughts of a better & healthier life as you go through this rough time. It will soon be over, and you never have to go through this again. We're here for you - lean on us.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by KaliCali 
Lifering seems more in line for me than AA, but the meeting is an hour and a half a way.
Wishing you the best.
Bob R
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome KaliCali!
Glad you decided to post (and get sober, too!) I was scared to death, but glued myself to this place and tried to just stay in the moment. The anxiety was the first thing to go - I couldn't believe how much better I was mentally when I started waking up calm and without a hangover. Life starts to look different, you'll see!
Glad you decided to post (and get sober, too!) I was scared to death, but glued myself to this place and tried to just stay in the moment. The anxiety was the first thing to go - I couldn't believe how much better I was mentally when I started waking up calm and without a hangover. Life starts to look different, you'll see!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Truckee, CA
Posts: 30
Thank you all for your support.
Thanks Dee for the references -definitely keep them in mind.
I posted yesterday, got a response from Sugerbear-one that after all my reading here would expect--detox through a doc. Thanks Sugerbear despite my rugged individualism. I know it can be dangerous.
Then? No more posts--where are all my greeters? A couple of hours past by, as I posted a few trying to cling to SR through this. Was feeling anxious and self-pitying so I hauled myself to town and went for a 1 hour gentle walk on the flats with my dog--maybe not a good idea with 90-94 pulse beats per minute--but I felt better afterward. I did buy a 32 oz. beer, ( 3 beers I had the night before). At 7pm, drank my 2 and one third beers over the next 2.5 hours--grumpy relaxed but no dopa rush . Took 2 tryptophans, kudzu, glutamine, taurine and hawthorn around 9pm--and surprise--got a great nights sleep.
DAY 1. TODAY
The night before my symptoms were worse and only got 2 hours sleep on 3 tryptophans and a melatonin. So I feel like I maybe over the hump scare physically, but the mentally still scared. I never have felt the shakes in my hands--more of a fluttering in my heart/stomach. Today my resting heart rate is 75--much better. So planning my sobriety-0 drink tonight--this I know I can do. As for the rest of my days? One minute at a time, and learning to speak to the beast, which sometimes seems as innocent as Cookie Monster freaking out about substituting veggies for cookies. Maybe I should change my Avatar until my anxiety subdues --Oh ****, can't you take a joke!
Again, Thanks to all. A day later I find a flood of support
Thanks Dee for the references -definitely keep them in mind.
I posted yesterday, got a response from Sugerbear-one that after all my reading here would expect--detox through a doc. Thanks Sugerbear despite my rugged individualism. I know it can be dangerous.
Then? No more posts--where are all my greeters? A couple of hours past by, as I posted a few trying to cling to SR through this. Was feeling anxious and self-pitying so I hauled myself to town and went for a 1 hour gentle walk on the flats with my dog--maybe not a good idea with 90-94 pulse beats per minute--but I felt better afterward. I did buy a 32 oz. beer, ( 3 beers I had the night before). At 7pm, drank my 2 and one third beers over the next 2.5 hours--grumpy relaxed but no dopa rush . Took 2 tryptophans, kudzu, glutamine, taurine and hawthorn around 9pm--and surprise--got a great nights sleep.
DAY 1. TODAY
The night before my symptoms were worse and only got 2 hours sleep on 3 tryptophans and a melatonin. So I feel like I maybe over the hump scare physically, but the mentally still scared. I never have felt the shakes in my hands--more of a fluttering in my heart/stomach. Today my resting heart rate is 75--much better. So planning my sobriety-0 drink tonight--this I know I can do. As for the rest of my days? One minute at a time, and learning to speak to the beast, which sometimes seems as innocent as Cookie Monster freaking out about substituting veggies for cookies. Maybe I should change my Avatar until my anxiety subdues --Oh ****, can't you take a joke!
Again, Thanks to all. A day later I find a flood of support
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