Back In the World From Rehab
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Join Date: Jun 2009
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Back In the World From Rehab
and it's kind of like a sh*t storm but it's all a good lesson and I'm happy to be here and deal with the things in life, even the tough thing, soberly. First I thanked my land lady for saving my life, than cleaned up the wreckage in my place and made sure all booze was gone, next is putting financial stuff in order, checking mail that hasn't been opened in a month, attend AA. But I feel good about, juist pieces of my sober life I'm puting back together. I wish with all my heart I hadn't relapsed but I did so know I file it under lessons learned. I don't feel the sober time I had as thrown away, every moment sober is precious. You all have a wonderful day.
Have a good day!
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The thing is I feel so much better sober phyiscally and emotionlly. I'm happier, more productive, feel better about myslf, relationships, etc. etc. Why in the world I pick up again. Tends to be 6-7 months sobriety then wham back at it. It must be a form of temporary sanity. Thjis time won't count sustainable recovery is more import to me than a chip. I am also greatly expanding my resources and my profesional and social interactions, replacing isolation with mindfulness. I believe I can learn from my "failures" and develop as a human being.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by MycoolFitz 
The thing is I feel so much better sober phyiscally and emotionlly. I'm happier, more productive, feel better about myslf, relationships, etc. etc. Why in the world I pick up again. Tends to be 6-7 months sobriety then wham back at it.
You never got truly SOBER. (and I mean that using the "old" definition of the word, not simply the "not drinking alcohol" one commonly used today).
My AA great-grand sponsor tells a cool "story" that makes sense to me when he's asked what he's learned about relapse in 53 years since his last drink. He's run a treatment facility (was a therapist there), sponsored many 100's of ppl and has spent half a century in AA as a recovered alcoholic.
He tells about how when we drank, all 3 parts of us got "drunk" - our minds, our bodies and our souls. When we quit ingesting alcohol, the body portion sobers up but the other "parts" are still drunk. So......if you're an alcoholic who has all 3 components of alcoholism that the BB talks about (physical, mental and spiritual), not drinking only treats the physical - resulting in you being 33% sober and 66% drunk. Sure, you're not drinking.....but you're still more drunk than sober. From this point..... we prolly shouldn't even call it a relapse, yanno?
I've got a sponsee who had 5 years.....in AA, going to meetings, had a sponsor, worked the steps, and was sponsoring guys. His sponsor died........and within about 6 months he was out drinking again (actually, he started getting drunk on Listerine......then moved on to regular booze).
Now, how'd that happen? I mean.......he was not drinking for FIVE and a half years, he seemed to be doing all the stuff the AA folks do, yet he got drunk! (and he stayed out for about 6 years of on/off drinking, sobering up, going back out, etc). Unfortunately, he's not a SR member here or he'd tell ya himself. What he'd say is that I was physically sober and probably more mentally sober than drunk........but I didn't really work on the spiritual part. For him, nothing BUT recovery in all three areas will work. He blew 5+ years finding that one out. Maybe your case is similar.....I dunno.....but it's worth considering.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
Your good to go in my book Fitz, welcome back 
Yep, live and lean...it works for me and a good chunk of the worlds population too.
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