I really want a drink
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 48
I really want a drink
The woman who solely supported me threw the first day, is now intentionally not kissing me has called me many of names today, ignored me last night. And I get in trouble when I am trying to seek inpiration to stay sober from like minded people, whether it be on here or my only AA meeting, she is telling me WHAT am I not enough support for you. When I say well sense you have been name calling calling me a piece of ..... and telling me all these negative things I would say not. which initiates more yelling. I got back from my sons weekly violin lesson and I am fighting to get him inside and keep the two dogs inside she asks how violin lessons were my hands were full of soda struggling not to drop anything while keeping the beasts tame and I thought she was talking to my son, I was about to hop on the computer after a bad morning but realizing that has been upsetting her I refrained and went outside to smoke a ciggarette and than she yelled at me some more I started to drive to the store I turned around. and came back and once again I feel like I am a horrible being I got 3 hours of sleep last night and I am on the verge of relaxation in the only way I know how
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Drinking won't make that any better...Maybe when you both calm down you can sit and have a heart to heart.....Nicely explain to her you're doing the best you can...I'm not a marriage counselor...I'm an alcoholic....But it might be worth a try..
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Albany NY
Posts: 1,212
Sounds like a tough spot to be in.
My sense is that you and your wife have been dancing like this for some time, and it is probably unrealistic to think it will change overnight.
It takes two to argue - is there a way you can think of to try not to let it escalate - you know, kind of like letting the screaming roll off you like water off a duck's back?
I don't have much experience in this because I went into an inpatient rehab center when I first quit, so was not exposed to daily wrath while I was initially starting my sobriety, but I am sure others will be along to tell you how they handled it.
You do know that drinking will only prolong the inevitable and make things worse, so don't drink. Do I remember you saying you got someone's phone number from AA - why not try calling them.
The power to stop drinking and reacting by burying yourself in drink lies with you; and no one can "Make" you drink. Try to remember that.
All my best...others should be by soon to help you along; I just wanted to give you some encouragement...
My sense is that you and your wife have been dancing like this for some time, and it is probably unrealistic to think it will change overnight.
It takes two to argue - is there a way you can think of to try not to let it escalate - you know, kind of like letting the screaming roll off you like water off a duck's back?
I don't have much experience in this because I went into an inpatient rehab center when I first quit, so was not exposed to daily wrath while I was initially starting my sobriety, but I am sure others will be along to tell you how they handled it.
You do know that drinking will only prolong the inevitable and make things worse, so don't drink. Do I remember you saying you got someone's phone number from AA - why not try calling them.
The power to stop drinking and reacting by burying yourself in drink lies with you; and no one can "Make" you drink. Try to remember that.
All my best...others should be by soon to help you along; I just wanted to give you some encouragement...
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
She doesn't know what to expect from you now. She might be thinking, "How will life be when my PBODY is sober?" You'll have to talk sooner or later. Remember to thank her for everything she does, how important she is to you......she's probably scared...... I'm guessing.
Drinking won't change anything. Move forward....not backward....let her know that life will get different before it gets really good. Because life will get good for both of you!
Writing on SR, calling another AAer, writing a journal, praying, these are some things to do before you make a decision to fall back into Hades.
You're doing well, PBODY!
Drinking won't change anything. Move forward....not backward....let her know that life will get different before it gets really good. Because life will get good for both of you!
Writing on SR, calling another AAer, writing a journal, praying, these are some things to do before you make a decision to fall back into Hades.
You're doing well, PBODY!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
I can't offer any relationship advice, but I will say that you should be very proud precisely because you stayed true to yourself despite intense stress and emotional pressure.
I will also say that the great thing about recovery is that if you can push through the early period, and stay on track, ultimately it makes everything in life better. The bad times are more manageable, even if they're still awful. And the good times are far more enjoyable. And all of it—good, bad, and all the stuff in between—is infinitely more satisfying.
That doesn't happen overnight, but try to remind yourself that every day, every minute even, you are closer to getting there.
I will also say that the great thing about recovery is that if you can push through the early period, and stay on track, ultimately it makes everything in life better. The bad times are more manageable, even if they're still awful. And the good times are far more enjoyable. And all of it—good, bad, and all the stuff in between—is infinitely more satisfying.
That doesn't happen overnight, but try to remind yourself that every day, every minute even, you are closer to getting there.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Sober State
Posts: 1,126
Pbody, this is a hard time for both of you. The dynamics in the relationship are changing. She may feel uneasy about your. Sobriety even if it is for the better due to her own insecurities. She may feel like w/ your new friends, you won't need her as much.
My husband was my enabler & I turned to him for yrs w/ my pain, addiction, problems. He's an alcoholic too. But once I found outside support he has been a little insecure. I had to reassure him I still need him, love him, & even tho I'm sober & he's not, doesn't mean I want a different life.
I married him for better or worse. It's called unconditional love.
My husband was my enabler & I turned to him for yrs w/ my pain, addiction, problems. He's an alcoholic too. But once I found outside support he has been a little insecure. I had to reassure him I still need him, love him, & even tho I'm sober & he's not, doesn't mean I want a different life.
I married him for better or worse. It's called unconditional love.
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