albatulipan

I have nobody to talk to, since nobody knows I'm trying to quit. Actually nobody knows how heavy my drinking is (was). I'm on my second day but really determined. I have three little children and I'm really scared.

scrambled2012

Hi Albat~~~welcome to SR ~~~~

congrads on your second day!

you will find a lot on this site to distract you in the early days, and to learn from as you go forward. enjoy :-)

Hevyn

Welcome albatulipan! I was the same way - no one in my life understood what I was going through. When I came here I was amazed at all the people who were just like me.

I was scared in the beginning, too - but even more scared to keep going the way I was. I know you'll like it here - you aren't alone anymore.

Purplecatlover

Welcome. You will find alot of good encouragement here.
I relapsed again & again until I found this site.
You can turn your life around. You just have to work as hard on your sobriety as you did on hiding & drinking.
Best wishes on your new life.

Sapling

Welcome albatulipan...We've all been where you are...And we all want the same thing...Life without alcohol. You can be comfortable here...None of us can do this alone.

katrinka

welcome! Keep reading and posting here on SR, you'll get the help and advice you need. Good luck!

Missy7

Welcome to SR. How old are your kids? I hope that your addiction hasn't caused too much interruption for them--and I hope that you are able to look back and feel really good about how you have done. We need to get control of our addictions for ourselves first, but gosh, it's so important for the kids.

I have been hungover while visiting my grandkids on a few occasions, and that is a real shame. I'm committed to being present for them from now on. You?

Dee74

welcome aboard albatulipan!

D

artsoul

Welcome!

The first few days aren't fun, but things are going to get better. You're making a really great decision. Glad to have you with us!

albatulipan

oh my goodness, I'm crying as I type this message. You don't know me at all and you are encouraging me and supporting me... , and not judging me! I can't even start to express how that makes me feel.I cry because I'm relieved. I'm relieved I finally told somebody about my problem. Finishing day 3 and feeling REALLY good. I'm doing it for my children, they deserve a healthy and happy mom. the eldest is in primary school, the middle one is a preschooler and then there is my gorgeous toddler. they are very well taken care of, fortunately my husband is a loving dad and i try to drink only when they are in bed, but not only....(what was i thinking???????) they deserve a better mum.
thank you all

Sapling

Good for you albatulipan...You deserve a better you...The rest will come together...Keep checking in and great job on three days.

sober4metoday

No one really knows about me either. And anyone that I have shared my concerns with (usually the morning of an I'll-never-drink-again episode) laughs off the idea that I'm an alcoholic. That's ok though - I know the truth! And, apparently you know your truth as well.

Good luck and congrats on 2 days!

albatulipan

You are absolutely right, what really scares me is keep doing what I was doing before quitting. Lying and hiding, lying and hiding, lying and hiding empty cans of beer. how disgusting. I have to be able to make it this time, so far I don't feel the craving. I feel strong.

CaiHong

Hi Albatulipan,

Welcome to the forum. Good for you. This is the most important descision of your life and you wont be sorry you made it.

Do you have a program to follow to help you stay sober?

I stay sober with the help of this forum and AA. I can't make it to meetings very often but I use this forum a lot and have stated listening to AA speakers online.

You will need a lot of support especailly at the beginning, ask for help,vent whatever you feel, just don't pick up a drink.

There is no greater joy than seeing someone get sober and lead a happy productive life,

CaiHong

albatulipan

Oh, I know I'm an alcoholic (so hard to say ).I must have been really good hiding it, I indeed worked a lot to hide it, lying, so much lying. I don't think anybody even suspects it.
thanks a lot for your support

sober4metoday

If it's any consolation, I would drink "normally" out in pubic - dinner with friends, a drinky-poo at happy hour, etc. etc... but unbeknownst to my friends or boyfriend, that was all a part of my evil plan! Appear NORMAL. They had no idea what I did when I left their site afterwards. I was all about lying and hiding!

stepping

albat!! HI!!!!

You sound just like me (on your post above) when I typed my first thread on SR..... New Years Day this year and I was at my wits end with alcohol and what it was doing to my life! I lurked on SR for months then FINALLY signed up NYD and posted a cry for help thread while hung over and shaking; I hit send and off to breakfast I went feeling still as hopeless and alone as ever. I thought nothing would ever make me stop drinking..ever!!! I had so many failed attempts it makes me sick (even after coming to SR)!! I just had surrendered to the poison & just knew in my heart it was going to kill me. Anyway, point is when I came back up to my hotel room I saw so many loving replies. I cried right there. It was overwhelming to see...I was not alone any more, people cared and people listened and encouraged and even forgave when I fell off the wagon..... people who didnt even know me. This meant tons to me since I do not have a lot of people in my life.
SR has been here through my journey and I have learned so much! It is a HUGE part of my recovery plan. Stick around and you will be surrounded by people just like you!! A BIG WARM WELCOME HUG TO YOU and congrats on being on day 3 WOOO HOOOO!! Doesn't it feel GREAT!!!

albatulipan

Hi CaiHong, I don't have a program to follow at all. I just stopped drinking 3 days ago. I can only vent here, but it's already helping.
I told my friends and family that during lent I promised myself not to drink beer, they know I like my beer, (just not HOW MUCH I like it). I come from a culture where is really difficult not to drink, there's a lot of social drinking, they just think I'm weird for deciding not to drink beer, they say one beer can not harm you. But I know I would never stop at 1.....
thanks a lot CaiHong

Hevyn

It was so hard to come to that realization, wasn't it? One always led to 10 - or more. In the end, there was never enough to do the job. That's when I knew it was over.

albatulipan

Hi Stepping,
yes, exactly, that's how I feel, overwhelmed!!! that's the right word! (My English is not great, i'ts difficult to express exactly how I feel. But I can see myself in almost everything you said above.
thanks a lot for caring, it means sooooooooo much for me right now