Hope88

I was clean for almost 30 days...and then i got a little money and now ive blown lke 400 dollars on dope this week...i hate myself...i just wanna be clean...i was doing so good...so proud of myself...and now ive screwed myself over...ill prolly lose my house...what was i thinking!!!!!???...GOD!...im such a loser junkie...how could i do this to myself!!!??

Orbea

You are not a loser, you are an addict. Dumb question. Is dope just pot?

You are not alone. Many of us have several "day 1s."

Hope88

i wish it was pot lol...i actually have never really liked pot...but no i am sadly a heroin addict ):
I hate being an addict...it makes me crazy thinking about how a drug has this hold over me

Orbea

I don't know much about heroin except that my younger female cousins got into it as teens. One got arrested for setting a HS hallway on fire. The other got arrested for stealing checks. She was so pretty, then she lost some front teeth, had terrible skin. They both cleaned up, but will still drink. It's amazing how easy it can get a grip on your life. I vowed never to be a "junkie" but here I am a recovering alchi!

Have you thought about NA? I don't do AA...

sugarbear1

I have no experience with H, but I guess your early detox wasn't too bad for you or you'd think twice about it. If you want to stop again, you know you can. I wish you well on your sober journey!!!

chroncat101

I've been a drug addict since I was 12 starting with alcohol and by 18 moved to stimulants and then quickly to heroine, meth, crack, and IV cocaine as my drugs of choice. I had an extremely hard time trying to get sober and I tried and tried and tried using rehab, AA/NA, bipolar meds, psyches, exercise you name it I tried it kinda like drugs. I got through months clean and then all of a sudden I would go use just like you and it was always heroin that I would relapse on. So this last time getting sober I got off my prescription meds(mostly klonopin) and went 3 months in rehab and then after getting out 1 month clean. I got some money from working and boom bought dope just like you. I repeated this cycle 2 more times until I decided I had to do something different because I couldn't do this anymore. I decided to put myself on methadone against what all the people in NA told me, people in rehab told me and against my parents wishes. My plan was and still is to stay on methadone for around a year or as long as it takes to change my habits completely, get myself out of depression/anxiety and into a good place both mentally and physically before I detox off of it. All I have to do is praise my choice and point you in the same direction because it has completely gotten rid of my cravings for opiates which has allowed me so much freedom in my life to realign myself with my interest and hobbies as well as find new ones. I'm not saying that methadone or suboxone are for everyone but if you want to be clean but keep going back but don't know why you might want to consider going on a substitution program for your heroin addiction. If you have any questions for me please contact me I will try to answer your questions if you have any for me.