afraid & confused - help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: silver spring md
Posts: 3
afraid & confused - help
Hello everyone,
I'm 24, work full time, and currently studying for my MA in politics (expecting to graduate this May) I would consider myself a binge drinker (abstain during the week and binge on the weekends) My anxiety the next day is beyond anything I have dealt with. I have always suffered from terrible anxiety but I KNOW the alcohol magnifies it.
I feel like there's a war within my brain--I don't want to drink but all of a sudden an overwhelming urge takes over. I also won't fool myself--it's fun for maybe the first half hour until I can't control my drinking and usually 9 out of 10 everything ends horribly wrong.
Why is the will to want to stop not enough? Will it get easier? I should mention this past lent I gave up alcohol for 40 days--was never happier, completely calm and more just like myself. WHY DID I GO BACK?
Anything positive you can send my way would be greatly appreciated...I really want this. I need this. I have never reached out to any type of support. I have been drinking for about 4 years (the last two in particular are the worse)
Thank you and love and peace to all!
I'm 24, work full time, and currently studying for my MA in politics (expecting to graduate this May) I would consider myself a binge drinker (abstain during the week and binge on the weekends) My anxiety the next day is beyond anything I have dealt with. I have always suffered from terrible anxiety but I KNOW the alcohol magnifies it.
I feel like there's a war within my brain--I don't want to drink but all of a sudden an overwhelming urge takes over. I also won't fool myself--it's fun for maybe the first half hour until I can't control my drinking and usually 9 out of 10 everything ends horribly wrong.
Why is the will to want to stop not enough? Will it get easier? I should mention this past lent I gave up alcohol for 40 days--was never happier, completely calm and more just like myself. WHY DID I GO BACK?
Anything positive you can send my way would be greatly appreciated...I really want this. I need this. I have never reached out to any type of support. I have been drinking for about 4 years (the last two in particular are the worse)
Thank you and love and peace to all!
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
Why is the will to stop not enough?
Because we lose the power to choose whether we will drink or not at some point in our progression of alcoholism.
The book Alcoholics Anonymous has a chapter that talks exactly about this.
I will copy and paste it in a minute.
Hang in there! Glad you are here!
"As we look back, we feel we had gone on drinking many years beyond the point where we could quit on our will power. If anyone questions whether he has entered this dangerous area, let him try leaving liquor alone for one year. If he is a real alcoholic and very far advanced, there is scant chance of success. In the early days of our drinking we occasionally remained sober for a year or more, becoming serious drinkers again later. Though you may be able to stop for a considerable period, you may yet be a potential alcoholic. We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year. Some will be drunk the day after making their resolutions; most of them within a few weeks.
For those who are unable to drink moderately the question is how to stop altogether. We are assuming, of course, that the reader desires to stop. Whether such a person can quit upon a non-spiritual basis depends somewhat upon the strength of his character, and how much he really wants to be done with it. But even more will it depend upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not. Many of us felt that we had plenty of character. There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we found it impossible. This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it - this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish."
There Is A Solution
Because we lose the power to choose whether we will drink or not at some point in our progression of alcoholism.
The book Alcoholics Anonymous has a chapter that talks exactly about this.
I will copy and paste it in a minute.
Hang in there! Glad you are here!
"As we look back, we feel we had gone on drinking many years beyond the point where we could quit on our will power. If anyone questions whether he has entered this dangerous area, let him try leaving liquor alone for one year. If he is a real alcoholic and very far advanced, there is scant chance of success. In the early days of our drinking we occasionally remained sober for a year or more, becoming serious drinkers again later. Though you may be able to stop for a considerable period, you may yet be a potential alcoholic. We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year. Some will be drunk the day after making their resolutions; most of them within a few weeks.
For those who are unable to drink moderately the question is how to stop altogether. We are assuming, of course, that the reader desires to stop. Whether such a person can quit upon a non-spiritual basis depends somewhat upon the strength of his character, and how much he really wants to be done with it. But even more will it depend upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not. Many of us felt that we had plenty of character. There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we found it impossible. This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it - this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish."
There Is A Solution
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome Freedomrose. When I was your age I binged on weekends, too - but because I waited my whole life to take action, I ended up drinking all day in the end. Thankfully, you're seeing the danger you're in at a young age.
I hope the more you read and post here you'll feel comforted and encouraged. I did the same thing - kept insisting somehow alcohol would ease my anxiety and make everything feel ok. It did nothing but bring me misery and danger. This won't happen to you - we know you can quit and have a great life.
I hope the more you read and post here you'll feel comforted and encouraged. I did the same thing - kept insisting somehow alcohol would ease my anxiety and make everything feel ok. It did nothing but bring me misery and danger. This won't happen to you - we know you can quit and have a great life.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,782
Welcome to the family! 
Will power isn't always enough. There are many recovery methods out there to use. I got sober with the help of my addiction counselor and the people on this site.
I hope we can help you as much as this site has helped me. 
Will power isn't always enough. There are many recovery methods out there to use. I got sober with the help of my addiction counselor and the people on this site. I hope we can help you as much as this site has helped me. Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,511
Welcome!
It takes more than just the will to stop drinking, you're right. It takes making changes in your life. For me, I had to change from the inside out. I had to learn to live my life with its ups and downs and dealing with the emotions. I had to stay away from alcohol and people who were drinking for quite a long time, and to remove a couple of toxic people from my life. I had to reconnect with my spiritual self.
We know how hard this is and we do understand what you're going through. There is lots of support here so please keep posting.
It takes more than just the will to stop drinking, you're right. It takes making changes in your life. For me, I had to change from the inside out. I had to learn to live my life with its ups and downs and dealing with the emotions. I had to stay away from alcohol and people who were drinking for quite a long time, and to remove a couple of toxic people from my life. I had to reconnect with my spiritual self.
We know how hard this is and we do understand what you're going through. There is lots of support here so please keep posting.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Welcome freedomrose
Joining SR helped me with those urges...it was different once I found I wasn't alone...and once I saw that people just like me were not only staying sober but happy about it
You'll find a lot of support here
D
Joining SR helped me with those urges...it was different once I found I wasn't alone...and once I saw that people just like me were not only staying sober but happy about it
You'll find a lot of support here
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Jordan, MN
Posts: 91
If you understand the physiology of the brain, you will learn that we metabolize alcohol differently than a normal person. It is a progressive disease - cunning and baffling - and irreverable.
I had to work the 12 Steps (and continue to work them) to help me exercise my brain consistently so that the obsession to numb with alcohol was removed. I need to constantly read my affirmations - positive input - and talk recovery. I don't discuss using. I only discuss recovery and solution.
If I hadn't ever worked any of the Steps, I would just be a dry drunk - white knuckling it. The Steps taught me how to be happy in life.
I had to work the 12 Steps (and continue to work them) to help me exercise my brain consistently so that the obsession to numb with alcohol was removed. I need to constantly read my affirmations - positive input - and talk recovery. I don't discuss using. I only discuss recovery and solution.
If I hadn't ever worked any of the Steps, I would just be a dry drunk - white knuckling it. The Steps taught me how to be happy in life.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Freedomrose
I'm sure the support you find here will help you quit. There are lots of ideas here for recovery methods too. I found AVRT really useful for me to understand and overcome those overwhelming urges. The idea that I didn't have to act on them was a revelation to me. It isn't easy quitting but there are a lot of people here who have done it successfully and can provide a wealth of experience.
Glad you're here x
I'm sure the support you find here will help you quit. There are lots of ideas here for recovery methods too. I found AVRT really useful for me to understand and overcome those overwhelming urges. The idea that I didn't have to act on them was a revelation to me. It isn't easy quitting but there are a lot of people here who have done it successfully and can provide a wealth of experience.
Glad you're here x
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