mari1405

The weekend is here but I'm feeling lonely and sad. I'm 3 weeks sober. I don't have a desire for a drink. I just don't know what to do. The depression is so bad that I can't even do things that everyone else takes for granted. The hardest thing to do is get in the shower. I've been suffering from depression my whole life. The last couple of years I was pretty much self medicating with the wine.

I feel as if my life has just completely slowed down and is moving at a turtles pace. I don't want to say that it has stopped. It's almost like someone put my life on hold and I don't know what to do. It's like I'm stuck in a rut and I'm going around in circles to get myself out but there's no way out.

I want to really live my life. There's only one AA meeting that I liked, but it only meets on Monday nights. I haven't really cared for the other meetings that I've been to. The rehab program that I'm in makes you go.

Is it normal to feel so terribly down? I'm so lonely and I don't have anyone to talk to.

2granddaughters

Yes, it's normal for some of us.
You said that you didn't like some AA meetings... did they hurt more than your pain right now?
We all hated the meetings in the beginning, you will come to enjoy and accept them if you continue to attend them.

Wishing you the best !

Bob R

Anna

Have you ever talked to your dr about the depression you've had for your whole life? It could be possible that medication would help.

mari1405

I've been on and off AD's my whole adult life. Dr put me on another one about 10 days ago. It will probably be several weeks before it takes effect.

2granddaughters

mari, give AA a good shot. Go to lots of meetings and listen/talk to as many folks as you can.... get a sponsor. If after a while you think it's not working, you can leave and return right back to where you are right now.

I wish you the best.

Bob R.

Healthyfood

mari1405

I feel the same. Im on day 6. Feelings and emotions haven't changed at all since day 2. I guess its lack of sun and summer. Even normal people feel depressed during winter. So Im waiting for hot sun to energize me! Not long to go just couple months.

Purplecatlover

The first few weeks were very hard for me. Day 8 I cried like I've never cried. How about counseling? Most people drink to self medicate from pain in their past, childhood, etc.
I'm prone to depression but I've cut out reading depressing news. I Make an effort to thank God for the good things in my life everyday. Remind myself there are lots of people way worse than me.
Good luck to you & know you are not alone here. There are alot of great people & lots of support among us.

Dee74

I'm glad you've seen a Dr mari

the first few weeks were tough for me too - I had no idea how to live sober, or what to do to fill my days. All my friends were drinkers. I was very down and depressed and frightened.

I just took things day by day and, day by day, things got a little better - I gradually started to rebuild my life, to find new and interesting things to do, to find new friends, to shake off the blues....

I spent a lot of time here too . This is a great community.
You have a lot of people in your corner Mari

D

saphira

I've had depression my whole life as well, and it sucks! I know what you mean about showering, etc. When my depression gets bad, I feel like I'm walking through quick sand...unable to move any faster and sinking quickly. Small tasks like making a grocery list seem completely undoable. I'm glad that you saw a doctor as well. Medication is really helping with my issues, although it can definitely be frustrating finding the right one and the right dose. I hope this new one works better for you. Just try to be patient with yourself and remember that we're all here for you!

CaiHong

Hi Mari,

Depression can be so debilitating. I suffered depression and anxiety because of the alcohol, it sounds like you may be clinically depressed,which I can't really comment on.

I just want to say I hope things start to turnaround for you soon.

CaiHong

Jitterbugg

Alcohol always made me feel like the least lonely person. When I stopped drinking, I realized that I couldn't really relate to the majority of my close friends and I hardly talk to my old circle. My identity was so wrapped around being the 'party animal' that I didn't know what my identity was sober. I struggle everyday with loneliness as I search for my real identity. I look at it as a necessary journey I suppose. I am taking meds for depression and they are helping as far as the dark thoughts...but they dont help with the loneliness. I am positive that things will get better however...chin up!