Dumped it
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 377
Dumped it
I wont go into why I had an open bottle sitting around my house, but if your interested why check out this post
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-few-days.html
So anyways.. The bottle of alcohol that has been sitting in my desk drawer for a week and a half is gone. Just dumped it out. If your wondering why I kept it around for that long.. I don't really have a valid excuse other than I wanted to see how I would feel being alone around it. A test of strength if you will. Some of you may think this was a stupid move on my part, and it may have been. But I just wanted to see how my mind would react. And heres how I reacted:
1. First 1-2 days it was kinda weird knowing it was there. That I was alone with it. Thought about it a lot.
2. Mid week I really didnt think about it at all.
3. End of week, it would pop in my head, but quickly go away.
4. The last few days I felt really good about some finacial gain in my life, and in the back of my head I would think "Man.. life is good! Times like this I wish I could drink normal and celebrate a little! Its right there too!" but then quickly think "But I know this isn't possible, and why screw up feeling good with something like that. I like being sober, and the way I feel these days! Alcohol would just destroy everything ive worked for, and its sooo not worth it"
5. Tonight/Early morning: Figured my self test was over, I won, and its time to stop pushing my limits. Dumped it out.
It felt weird dumping it. It was the first time in 9 months that I had an open bottle in my hand. I turned it upside down, and watched it pour out onto the ground outside thinking to myself how WEIRD this feels throwing it away. The demon in the back of my head is screaming, "YOUR WASTING IT!!!"
Weird feeling people.. BUT its gone now, and I feel a sense of relief, but also a bit exhausted as well. Mentally that is. I willing put myself into this battle, and well...I won. Again, call me crazy, call me what you will, but I needed to know actually how strong I've become. How much I have changed. The result: VERY STRONG, and SO MUCH CHANGE! But I'm not impervious (far from it). I still suffer from the weakness of alcohol. Sad thing is.. After this last week, I don't think that will ever go away
But it was a good reality check non the less.
Thats all for now! Still sober, and still moving forward! Any one of you reading this that are new to sobriety I do NOT.. I repeat.. I DO NOT recommend doing what I just did. Very very dangerous with a capital V!! Even for someone like myself coming up on a year sober... so dangerous. And in all honestly I think it would be dangerous for someone with 15 years too. So dont try it!!!
Alright enough from me!
Stay strong people!
-Ryan
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-few-days.html
So anyways.. The bottle of alcohol that has been sitting in my desk drawer for a week and a half is gone. Just dumped it out. If your wondering why I kept it around for that long.. I don't really have a valid excuse other than I wanted to see how I would feel being alone around it. A test of strength if you will. Some of you may think this was a stupid move on my part, and it may have been. But I just wanted to see how my mind would react. And heres how I reacted:
1. First 1-2 days it was kinda weird knowing it was there. That I was alone with it. Thought about it a lot.
2. Mid week I really didnt think about it at all.
3. End of week, it would pop in my head, but quickly go away.
4. The last few days I felt really good about some finacial gain in my life, and in the back of my head I would think "Man.. life is good! Times like this I wish I could drink normal and celebrate a little! Its right there too!" but then quickly think "But I know this isn't possible, and why screw up feeling good with something like that. I like being sober, and the way I feel these days! Alcohol would just destroy everything ive worked for, and its sooo not worth it"
5. Tonight/Early morning: Figured my self test was over, I won, and its time to stop pushing my limits. Dumped it out.
It felt weird dumping it. It was the first time in 9 months that I had an open bottle in my hand. I turned it upside down, and watched it pour out onto the ground outside thinking to myself how WEIRD this feels throwing it away. The demon in the back of my head is screaming, "YOUR WASTING IT!!!"
Weird feeling people.. BUT its gone now, and I feel a sense of relief, but also a bit exhausted as well. Mentally that is. I willing put myself into this battle, and well...I won. Again, call me crazy, call me what you will, but I needed to know actually how strong I've become. How much I have changed. The result: VERY STRONG, and SO MUCH CHANGE! But I'm not impervious (far from it). I still suffer from the weakness of alcohol. Sad thing is.. After this last week, I don't think that will ever go away
But it was a good reality check non the less. Thats all for now! Still sober, and still moving forward! Any one of you reading this that are new to sobriety I do NOT.. I repeat.. I DO NOT recommend doing what I just did. Very very dangerous with a capital V!! Even for someone like myself coming up on a year sober... so dangerous. And in all honestly I think it would be dangerous for someone with 15 years too. So dont try it!!!
Alright enough from me!
Stay strong people!
-Ryan
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 1,061
I'm glad you dumped it out but I will say what I think you already know, I don't think playing with your sobriety is a smart idea. Life tests us enough without us adding additional temptations ourselves.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 205
My sobriety began with me dumping it all down the drain as a statement to myself. Although it did take a couple hours to do it and I remember holding the bottle and thinking where I could hide it (out of sight out of mind) but the angel on my shoulder said "Why keep it of you aren't going to ever drink again?" and thats when I dumped it.
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