Day 3 - Fail.
Random Guy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: America
Posts: 2,034
Hey maxxy you gotta just keep on trying, that was exactly the same thing that happened to me. I have been trying this for the past two months, hell it took me more than a month just to get past one week! I haven't read your other posts so I don't know what your DOC is but mine is beer. I am at the tail end of day three as well after a four day fallout, and this is no where near the first time I have been on it. I am sorry to hear that you messed up but the best choice that you can make is instead of dwelling on it learn from it and move on. If at first you don't succeed try, try again.
Best of luck
INH
Best of luck
INH
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 796
I'm sorry you relapsed. I have many, many times. Don't get down on yourself, it has happened to many of us..
If stopping were easy, there'd be no need for this board.
It took me over two years to quit once I joined here. You can do it too.
My thoughts go out to you.
If stopping were easy, there'd be no need for this board.
It took me over two years to quit once I joined here. You can do it too.
My thoughts go out to you.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
This is an addiction. It can prove itself stronger than us, stronger than our will power. You may have to try something different. I saw that you read Carr's book. Reading a book, while useful, might not be enough. Willing to give something like AA a chance?
Julz
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Amesbury, Massachusettes
Posts: 33
Hey Maxxy, U just gotta pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and just try again. Do it again and again till it sticks. Thats just what I had to do, and im sure hundreds of others who struggle with this ****. I know u feel like just giving up, but trust me, the struggle is SOOO worth thje reward!! YOU CAN DO IT!!! Dont give up on yourself!!!
Julz
Julz
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Newburgh
Posts: 868
Stay with it maxxy, I've relapsed many times, but I eventually just said enough is enough!!
Try some AA meetings, meet some people there. Anything. I had to make a ton of changes in my life. Not easy, but it's easier than staying drunk or stoned all the time.
God bless.
Try some AA meetings, meet some people there. Anything. I had to make a ton of changes in my life. Not easy, but it's easier than staying drunk or stoned all the time.
God bless.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: London
Posts: 43
I'm sat sobbing my heart out! Which I need to stop a) because son is out on his paper round and will be home soon and b) cos need to wake daughter up for dinner.
I've been out today, got my hair cut, finished off the rest of shopping for daughters birthday tomorrow should be feeling great hey?
No came home feeling like crap, there was a bottle in the fridge that had been there since Monday. Drank that, just on the second. Have a letter to open that came this morning from the ex mother in law, not a card for DD bday but a letter addressed to me - I haven't seen her for nearly 3 years, dreading opening it.
Have all the presents, the cake the party bags ready for tomorrow. I REALLY don't want to do tomorrow with a hangover.
This is different already. I drink quickly, but never am I sobbing. Ok there is a lot in my head going round and round about this time 3 years ago, but I'm usually a happy drunk, until I get TOO drunk - and I never know when to stop.
I'm going to rinse my face and eat some ice.
Just read through your replies and I'm crying again! Ok bathroom time. GTG son home xxx
I've been out today, got my hair cut, finished off the rest of shopping for daughters birthday tomorrow should be feeling great hey?
No came home feeling like crap, there was a bottle in the fridge that had been there since Monday. Drank that, just on the second. Have a letter to open that came this morning from the ex mother in law, not a card for DD bday but a letter addressed to me - I haven't seen her for nearly 3 years, dreading opening it.
Have all the presents, the cake the party bags ready for tomorrow. I REALLY don't want to do tomorrow with a hangover.
This is different already. I drink quickly, but never am I sobbing. Ok there is a lot in my head going round and round about this time 3 years ago, but I'm usually a happy drunk, until I get TOO drunk - and I never know when to stop.
I'm going to rinse my face and eat some ice.
Just read through your replies and I'm crying again! Ok bathroom time. GTG son home xxx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
You seem like a good person with a bad problem, Maxxy.
You could try reading Allen Carr again or make another decision to not ever-ever drink. I read that AA is out of the question for you so I won't bring that answer up.
I hope you don't mind me asking you this, but I've noticed a greater than normal reluctance among Brits to accept they are alcoholics. Almost a willfull blindness it at times seems and I've occasionally wondered what that might be attributed to?
The English have a culture that encourages people even in dire circumstances to view things from the sunny side (probably due to the weather), and might that produce a reluctance to even allow themselves to be conciously aware of how things generally turn out for alcoholics?
The other idea I had is English society is still stratified in classes, and if there was such an extreme aversion to admitting one is alcoholic because of fears of being perceived as sinking into a lower class simply by that admission, and if by being alcoholic but not admitting it to anyone they stay in the class they perceive themselves to be in, though often dying from drink there.
I do know many Brits who somehow crashed through that and have stayed sober just fine, but in watching them go through some serious difficulty in making their peace with the concept that they are hopeless on their own steam, I did wonder if those cultural traditions played a part in keeping them so very sick for so long.
Make any sense to you?
You could try reading Allen Carr again or make another decision to not ever-ever drink. I read that AA is out of the question for you so I won't bring that answer up.
I hope you don't mind me asking you this, but I've noticed a greater than normal reluctance among Brits to accept they are alcoholics. Almost a willfull blindness it at times seems and I've occasionally wondered what that might be attributed to?
The English have a culture that encourages people even in dire circumstances to view things from the sunny side (probably due to the weather), and might that produce a reluctance to even allow themselves to be conciously aware of how things generally turn out for alcoholics?
The other idea I had is English society is still stratified in classes, and if there was such an extreme aversion to admitting one is alcoholic because of fears of being perceived as sinking into a lower class simply by that admission, and if by being alcoholic but not admitting it to anyone they stay in the class they perceive themselves to be in, though often dying from drink there.
I do know many Brits who somehow crashed through that and have stayed sober just fine, but in watching them go through some serious difficulty in making their peace with the concept that they are hopeless on their own steam, I did wonder if those cultural traditions played a part in keeping them so very sick for so long.
Make any sense to you?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,446
Hi Maxxy
I think most of us have faltered a time or two - it's easy to underestimate this task.
Thats why I think support really helps - coming here and staying here is a great step forward, and looking for other kinds of support whether it be a recovery group or counselling or whatever is probably not a bad idea either.
think about what you can add to what you've been doing and keep moving forward
You can do this
D
I think most of us have faltered a time or two - it's easy to underestimate this task.
Thats why I think support really helps - coming here and staying here is a great step forward, and looking for other kinds of support whether it be a recovery group or counselling or whatever is probably not a bad idea either.
think about what you can add to what you've been doing and keep moving forward
You can do this
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Hi Maxxy,
It sounds like you need more support and a program if you are going to make it. this is not about putting down a drink and all will be well. We have to learn how to get through the milestones along the way.
Someone mentioned you are not into AA. Is it the meetings? Perhaps you could at least read it.
Alcohol is a depressant and will keep your down and keep you coming back in the mistaken belief it will give you some relief and a bit of happiness. BS.
You can turn your life around, you can do it but you must open your heart and mind for things to change.
All the best
CaiHong
It sounds like you need more support and a program if you are going to make it. this is not about putting down a drink and all will be well. We have to learn how to get through the milestones along the way.
Someone mentioned you are not into AA. Is it the meetings? Perhaps you could at least read it.
Alcohol is a depressant and will keep your down and keep you coming back in the mistaken belief it will give you some relief and a bit of happiness. BS.
You can turn your life around, you can do it but you must open your heart and mind for things to change.
All the best
CaiHong
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Buffalo Bill's territory, NY
Posts: 36
Maxxy~ you are not alone. I have relapsed so many times I felt like I could NOT do this. I did go to AA, but stopped because I felt I could do this. I have been drinking every day for the past six days. Today is my day one again. I have supplements to help my body heal, I bought good food to eat, plenty of water and lemon and teas and have promised myself that I will not drink for today....the problem is I have to promise myself I won't drink in the next 15 minutes and take it 15 minutes at a time.
I have not read any books, maybe I'll check out Allen Carr's book. The support here is great. I am also going to make an appointment with an addiction counselor today and start all over again. I have come to realize this is a disease, I didn't choose it, I certainly don't want it, but I can't control it on my own.
Focus on today and enjoy the party!
Tammy
7
I have not read any books, maybe I'll check out Allen Carr's book. The support here is great. I am also going to make an appointment with an addiction counselor today and start all over again. I have come to realize this is a disease, I didn't choose it, I certainly don't want it, but I can't control it on my own.
Focus on today and enjoy the party!
Tammy
7
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by tammygirl 
I have relapsed so many times I felt like I could NOT do this. I did go to AA, but stopped because I felt I could do this. I have been drinking every day for the past six days. Today is my day one again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Hi Tammy,
I am curious about your post when you say you stopped meetings because you can do this, yet you also say you have tried many times to stop and relapsed. I am not sure where you are going with this.
I totally agree though we can,t do this on our own. I hope you both find the program that you feel comfortable with and works for you.
I stay sober with the help of this forum and AA.
Take Care
CaiHong
I am curious about your post when you say you stopped meetings because you can do this, yet you also say you have tried many times to stop and relapsed. I am not sure where you are going with this.
I totally agree though we can,t do this on our own. I hope you both find the program that you feel comfortable with and works for you.
I stay sober with the help of this forum and AA.
Take Care
CaiHong
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: London
Posts: 43
Hello everybody
I don't have much time at the moment, but I wanted to let you all know that I have read your messages and take great comfort and hope from them. Thank you so so much.
Yesterday was my daughters 3rd birthday, let me tell you - my heart is still swelling with pride.
All is not lost, I did not have a drink yesterday - even though it was the perfect time to 'celebrate' I was too tired! Sometimes I think all is lost and I have nobody, yesterday reminded me I DO have 2 good friends. My 2 friends are quite new, we met through having children of the same age, but the fact they made the effort yesterday to make it a special birthday for my daughter means so much to me.
I was genuinely overwhelmed yesterday that for once I saw things for how they were. These people like and care about me and my children. If that makes sense?
I have to shoot off right now my ex stepdad (long story) is due to visit daughter.
I will come back and properly take in all of your messages and reply. I just wanted to let you know that I haven't given up. I won't give up. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be, but even by addressing the fact I have a problem that has ruined so many things for me over the years has given me a tiny piece of clarity about my life.
My quick post has turned into another long one. I type ridiculously fast, too many hours spent on the laptop!
Before I go, as I won't have time to post again until later - GalFriday - I am thinking of you X
Thank you again everybody X
I don't have much time at the moment, but I wanted to let you all know that I have read your messages and take great comfort and hope from them. Thank you so so much.
Yesterday was my daughters 3rd birthday, let me tell you - my heart is still swelling with pride.
All is not lost, I did not have a drink yesterday - even though it was the perfect time to 'celebrate' I was too tired! Sometimes I think all is lost and I have nobody, yesterday reminded me I DO have 2 good friends. My 2 friends are quite new, we met through having children of the same age, but the fact they made the effort yesterday to make it a special birthday for my daughter means so much to me.
I was genuinely overwhelmed yesterday that for once I saw things for how they were. These people like and care about me and my children. If that makes sense?
I have to shoot off right now my ex stepdad (long story) is due to visit daughter.
I will come back and properly take in all of your messages and reply. I just wanted to let you know that I haven't given up. I won't give up. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be, but even by addressing the fact I have a problem that has ruined so many things for me over the years has given me a tiny piece of clarity about my life.
My quick post has turned into another long one. I type ridiculously fast, too many hours spent on the laptop!
Before I go, as I won't have time to post again until later - GalFriday - I am thinking of you X
Thank you again everybody X
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 93
Maxxy, thanks so much for the thoughts, I'm hanging in there! But you...3 days!? That is awesome! You've done well! And the fact that you can paint on a smile thru the misery for the sake of your kids says volumes. It says you ARE strong! You CAN take control of your actions! You WILL do the right things and you DO have a firm grasp on what is important! Try not to focus on the "slips", instead, focus on what you have accomplished. the simple fact that you are trying means that you are closer to your goal than you were last week, last month, etc.
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