another newbie
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: lost alabama
Posts: 2
another newbie
Hey to everyone!! Newbie here. It sure was a process to get started .
It’s going to take some time to figure this site out and I hope I’m even at the right starting point.
I’m not sober as yet still in denial I think. Trying to convince myself I just have a drinking problem not an addiction or full blown alcoholic. At the same time I’m here right?
Anyway just so you know who I am I’m 52 years old been married 34 years I have two grown children a son 23 and a daughter 30.
I’m going through major life changes right now. I use it as an excuse to drink I’m sure of that. I lost my brother to alcoholism, so maybe it runs in the family.
I drink most every night lately…. beer 3-4 is all it takes I’m a light weight.
Don’t know if this is how to start maybe too much info, maybe not enough. I’m always second guessing myself ….LOL
So hello all.
It’s going to take some time to figure this site out and I hope I’m even at the right starting point.
I’m not sober as yet still in denial I think. Trying to convince myself I just have a drinking problem not an addiction or full blown alcoholic. At the same time I’m here right?
Anyway just so you know who I am I’m 52 years old been married 34 years I have two grown children a son 23 and a daughter 30.
I’m going through major life changes right now. I use it as an excuse to drink I’m sure of that. I lost my brother to alcoholism, so maybe it runs in the family.
I drink most every night lately…. beer 3-4 is all it takes I’m a light weight.
Don’t know if this is how to start maybe too much info, maybe not enough. I’m always second guessing myself ….LOL
So hello all.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
You found the right place Bluegal 
You'll find a ton of help support and understanding here
I was very scared of the thought of life without drinking - the folks here really helped me through that - I know we can help you too
D
You'll find a ton of help support and understanding here
I was very scared of the thought of life without drinking - the folks here really helped me through that - I know we can help you too
D
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Don't worry, if you stay in denial long enough like I did, you will be worried because you can't wake up without drinking hard from the fist cup of coffee. Then denial goes away pretty fast but it is much harder to stop then as it would have been easier earlier on.
Here is a list that might help.
If drinking is no longer voluntary, and has become mandatory . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you can't stop after one drink or 5 . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you wake up wondering whose underwear you're wearing and where you were last night . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If the clerks on all three shifts at the local liquor store have your name, address, and driver license number memorized . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If when you go to the liquor store you are followed by a clerk with a shopping cart without asking . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you ski and you have ski poles that are filled with whiskey . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you have set a quit date of tomorrow more than 364 times a year . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you are functional (or dysfunctional) . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
I you have to clean out all the hidden bottles in the guest bedroom before letting any guests use it . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you drink more than your Doctor . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If your idea of a good morning is one where you don't puke . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you are looking for any label other than alcoholic to account for your blackouts and behaviors . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you spend a lot of your time in de Nile without a paddle . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you quibble terms and think your recovery method is the only way . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you didn't really find any of these funny . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
Here is a list that might help.
If drinking is no longer voluntary, and has become mandatory . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you can't stop after one drink or 5 . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you wake up wondering whose underwear you're wearing and where you were last night . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If the clerks on all three shifts at the local liquor store have your name, address, and driver license number memorized . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If when you go to the liquor store you are followed by a clerk with a shopping cart without asking . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you ski and you have ski poles that are filled with whiskey . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you have set a quit date of tomorrow more than 364 times a year . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you are functional (or dysfunctional) . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
I you have to clean out all the hidden bottles in the guest bedroom before letting any guests use it . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you drink more than your Doctor . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If your idea of a good morning is one where you don't puke . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you are looking for any label other than alcoholic to account for your blackouts and behaviors . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you spend a lot of your time in de Nile without a paddle . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you quibble terms and think your recovery method is the only way . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired . .
You might be an alcoholic!
If you didn't really find any of these funny . . .
You might be an alcoholic!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Toronto
Posts: 31
3-4 beer a night hardly seems related to a drinking problem (from my perspective).
The medical community seems to think that 1-2 drinks per day can almost be healthy for you.. so 3-4 per day wouldn't cross any lines IMO.
You're like me... you just don't know. You're probably asking, why do you drink 3-4 per night... is it because you just can't stop thinking about beer until you give in and start drinking it... is it because you enjoy the relaxing feeling at it helps you sleep... you figure, you're not addicted to alcohol, so why are you drinking it in the first place.
Can you do without the 3-4 per night? You most likely can. And you know you can, so you figure, why not.. if it becomes a problem, you'll just stop.
--But that *is* the problem - when it has developed into a problem, then stopping will likely be that much harder. That's what I've learned from these forums so far (I'm new too).
So I think the question is, will it become a problem.
I know I can maintain control of when I drink, and that it isn't a problem.
My worry is that it might become a problem due to a major life changing event or crisis in the future. Maybe at some point later on I will lose that control. Maybe an outside event will launch me into anxiety and I'll figure that the only way to control that anxiety is to drink. But at this stage of the game, I'm not in that position.
As for your concern... I would say that 3-4 per night isn't in problem territory yet. If you see it reaching 5-6 per night, then 7-8 per night, every night, then there's a chance it could be getting worse.
But if you're able to maintain that quantity for years to come, then I'd reckon you don't have a problem.
The medical community seems to think that 1-2 drinks per day can almost be healthy for you.. so 3-4 per day wouldn't cross any lines IMO.
You're like me... you just don't know. You're probably asking, why do you drink 3-4 per night... is it because you just can't stop thinking about beer until you give in and start drinking it... is it because you enjoy the relaxing feeling at it helps you sleep... you figure, you're not addicted to alcohol, so why are you drinking it in the first place.
Can you do without the 3-4 per night? You most likely can. And you know you can, so you figure, why not.. if it becomes a problem, you'll just stop.
--But that *is* the problem - when it has developed into a problem, then stopping will likely be that much harder. That's what I've learned from these forums so far (I'm new too).
So I think the question is, will it become a problem.
I know I can maintain control of when I drink, and that it isn't a problem.
My worry is that it might become a problem due to a major life changing event or crisis in the future. Maybe at some point later on I will lose that control. Maybe an outside event will launch me into anxiety and I'll figure that the only way to control that anxiety is to drink. But at this stage of the game, I'm not in that position.
As for your concern... I would say that 3-4 per night isn't in problem territory yet. If you see it reaching 5-6 per night, then 7-8 per night, every night, then there's a chance it could be getting worse.
But if you're able to maintain that quantity for years to come, then I'd reckon you don't have a problem.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I'm gonna disagree with you Bool
I just can't let you get away with 'the medical community seems to think that 1-2 drinks per day can almost be healthy for you'...
what they actually say is
CDC - Frequently Asked Questions - Alcohol
thats a lower risk pattern- not no risk at all, and not 'almost healthy for you'
Even if it was true tho - and I've heard the myth about red wine too - it doesn't hold true for people like me.
No amount of alcohol is healthy for me.
Bluegal - I found out the important thing is not so much how you much you drink, or how often, but how it makes you feel when you do.
If you think your drinking is a problem, a problem big enough to sign up here for...then I agree with you
D
I just can't let you get away with 'the medical community seems to think that 1-2 drinks per day can almost be healthy for you'...
what they actually say is
What does moderate drinking mean?
There is no one definition of moderate drinking, but generally the term is used to describe a lower-risk pattern of drinking. According to the Dietary Guidelines for Americans,1 drinking in moderation is defined as having no more than 1 drink per day for women and no more than 2 drinks per day for men. This definition is referring to the amount consumed on any single day and is not intended as an average over several days
There is no one definition of moderate drinking, but generally the term is used to describe a lower-risk pattern of drinking. According to the Dietary Guidelines for Americans,1 drinking in moderation is defined as having no more than 1 drink per day for women and no more than 2 drinks per day for men. This definition is referring to the amount consumed on any single day and is not intended as an average over several days
thats a lower risk pattern- not no risk at all, and not 'almost healthy for you'
Even if it was true tho - and I've heard the myth about red wine too - it doesn't hold true for people like me.
No amount of alcohol is healthy for me.
Bluegal - I found out the important thing is not so much how you much you drink, or how often, but how it makes you feel when you do.
If you think your drinking is a problem, a problem big enough to sign up here for...then I agree with you
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Toronto
Posts: 31
I don't know, 1 drink a day could act as a cleanser for the body seeing as it has alcohol in it, or maybe it's a detriment on the body. How are we to know when we see, read and hear conflicting reports all the time. It's like one day I hear "coffee could cause cancer", then the next day it's "why coffee could be good for you"... so who knows.
Is 3-4 per day a problem, I don't know.
Ask the question - "what defines a problem?" for yourself.
Is it a problem if you drink 3-4 by yourself each night and then go to bed, starting your next day as usual, with no obvious hitches during your episode of drinking and the next morning?
Is it a problem if you drink 3-4 by yourself each night and you end up arguing with your family after it?
Is it a problem if you drink 3-4 by yourself each night and you enjoyed it? Or you regretted it?
Is it a problem if you drink 3-4 by yourself each night, then can't wait the next day to do it all over again, increasing by 1 drink every night per week?
What is a 'problem' to you, it's up to you. If no one else minds, then it's really all up to you. If you think it's a problem in your life, then you can solve it. If you don't think it's a problem in your life, then there's probably no reason to alter what you're currently doing, because 3-4 drinks per evening IMO isn't excessive.
Is 3-4 per day a problem, I don't know.
Ask the question - "what defines a problem?" for yourself.
Is it a problem if you drink 3-4 by yourself each night and then go to bed, starting your next day as usual, with no obvious hitches during your episode of drinking and the next morning?
Is it a problem if you drink 3-4 by yourself each night and you end up arguing with your family after it?
Is it a problem if you drink 3-4 by yourself each night and you enjoyed it? Or you regretted it?
Is it a problem if you drink 3-4 by yourself each night, then can't wait the next day to do it all over again, increasing by 1 drink every night per week?
What is a 'problem' to you, it's up to you. If no one else minds, then it's really all up to you. If you think it's a problem in your life, then you can solve it. If you don't think it's a problem in your life, then there's probably no reason to alter what you're currently doing, because 3-4 drinks per evening IMO isn't excessive.
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
to SRIf you think you have a drinking problem then you probably do and you should take the necessary steps to correct it.
Don't get hung up on labeling it and don't let someone else decide if it is a problem or not. What you feel in your heart is what it is,
Good luck with what you decide and what you do about it.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Bluegal -
Glad you're here - great questions, too.......
I can only share my experience, but I had the same "suspicions" when I started drinking a few beers every night. Over time, it became the highlight of my day and I always seemed to have a reason/justification for doing it. It wasn't too long before I allowed myself to have an extra drink or two on top of the "few."
Somewhere along the way alcohol started making me feel depressed, but by the time I wanted to quit, I found that I couldn't do it on my own.
Having a family history does make it more likely that you would develop alcoholism. The good news is that you looking at this early on - that's awesome!
Glad you're here - great questions, too.......
I can only share my experience, but I had the same "suspicions" when I started drinking a few beers every night. Over time, it became the highlight of my day and I always seemed to have a reason/justification for doing it. It wasn't too long before I allowed myself to have an extra drink or two on top of the "few."
Somewhere along the way alcohol started making me feel depressed, but by the time I wanted to quit, I found that I couldn't do it on my own.
Having a family history does make it more likely that you would develop alcoholism. The good news is that you looking at this early on - that's awesome!
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