soberjim

Hi Everyone.

Long story short..it's day 1..again..
I'm very tired of this cycle, but am determined to stop..

I am not waiting until the New Year to stop. Tomorrow will be day 2.

Best wishes to everyone on SR for a safe and sober New Year!

Jim

sobersloan

Every day is DAY 1. One day at a time, and in some cases, 1 minute at a time.

You can do this!! Stay strong!

harleyq

Hi Soberjim,

I feel you. I just had a relapse and I'm on day three and I hope to god this is my last day three. At least we are trying and not giving up. I going to try to add more tools this time around.

foxyfox123

im with you jim, just do it, to coin a phrase lol best of luck mate ps im on my second day too an i feel good. hope it lasts for both of us

SoCalDude

Keep it up Jim.. just a speed bump, not a wall.

overthis

Congrats on Day 1 and not giving up. It truly takes a lot of strength to come back.

Windytown4

good luck! I am on day 1 also. Day 1 is WAY better than the old- I will quit tomorrow- at least we are here- now we just have to stay on course and know that it will get better~

Margene

Hi,
Just wanted to say be kind to yourself. I found drinking a lot of water and adding Vitamin B helped. I also rested when I needed to. Good luck.
Margene

langkah

Glad you're trying very hard again Jim, it takes a lot of efforts like this to see clearly what you need to do.

debsam

Hi SJ,

I have a feeling you've already thought thru what lead you back to day 1 - been there myself my friend.

Most important part, is you're back again. I love that you're not dragging your new day 1 out to New Years day....says a lot to me.

Itchy

Jim,
Congrats on dusting off and getting back on the horse. What are you doing as a recovery program? AVRT? AA? SMART? is your Doc involved with all the honest facts at his disposal? Are you involved in local counseling? Is there a rehab locally? Out patient help?

In other words what are you going to do differently this time, because what you have been doing isn't working alone. That not posted as a criticism, but an honest question. See I had to answer that question after hundreds of mornings, more than 600 of them in the last bad two years of my problem drinking/alcoholism, when I could not figure out why I could not quit at all when I desperately wanted to quit.

I finally went outside myself with docs in hospital detox AA here books, family and friends and I made it. I hope you do what will work for you. It is great on this side of the battle. Oh I still can't ever drink again. But at this point I don't want to.

DisplacedGRITS

Hey soberjim. Glad your recomitting to sobriety. Try to recognize what triggered you in the past. Write the triggers down and come up with ways to cope with them that don't involve using. Physically identifying your triggers helps you to really think about what gets to you. Boredom, stress at home, money problems, marriage problems, stress at work...whatever it is. You may find that you have different coping skills for different triggers. Making a plan for sobriety is essential. You wouldn't travel to somewhere you've never been without directions. Sobriety is both the journey and the destination.

soberjim

Itchy...yes I have seen my doctor. Have learnt a great deal about myself since joining SR. Honestly, at first, I didn't think I had a problem. I started reading here in Sept, and thought well I'll join, stop for 30 days. No problem. By way of drinking probably 1 bottle of wine per night, some nights less, some more, some nights threw some beer in the mix.

Well I did make it 10 days, and since then I have also gone several days without, but it is a battle with my mind convincing me I don't have a problem. Thing is I wake up in the morning, hung over, head ache and think this is day 1, for serious this time, by 5:30 in the evening that voice has convinced me I don't have a problem, only have 1 glass of wine tonight. Well I don't need to tell you that I don't have just 1 glass of wine.

I am meeting again with my doc next week, and will provide him with all the details since I have seen him last.
In the end though it is up to me. I have to want to stop drinking. Right now, at this moment, I am tired of the circle, of alcohol. I am reading up on AVRT as I don't see AA as something I would be comfortable with.

After joining SR and trying to abstain for 30 days, I know inside I have a problem. The last couple of days/week have re-inforced to me that I cannot moderately. In a way I think that makes a difference this time. I am not trying to go 3 days or 30 days without alcohol, I know I cannot have any period. I just have to deal with each day and say not today.

Posting and reading here helps a great deal as well. Thanks for your post and advice. Any other thoughts.. I would like to know.

Jim

DarrenW

Thanks for the honesty, Jim. You are a very supportive person on this board, and I am wishing good things for you. You can do it!

jocata

I can't tell you how many times I swore off the bottle in the wee hours of the morning, head pounding, puking my guts out only to be drunk again that evening. It is a very common thing among us alcoholics. Yes, the important thing is that you are back. I have started over many times. We have to find out what works for us and continue to do those things. Then we have a chance. Best wishes. God bless.

Dee74

welcome back Jim

D

Itchy

Jim,
Yep you have been planning each relapse in the past. If you have problems quitting alcohol and it isn't really all that bad now so you keep on it will get much worse exponentially as it progresses. I went there my last two years drinking. You don't seem to have lost much to alcohol thus far and my hat is off to your for making the self appraisal this early in your drinking career.

Pretty much my advice in addition to the above are these. AVRT has some really good methodologies that some folks like a lot and have had success with. AA was part of my plan because I felt that I needed face to face as often as I needed it and AA in our medium size metro area has meetings at all hours and weekends too. I did not like the religious overtones i was told about and the saying the Lord's Prayer at the end kind of threw me for a loop at first, but I could get by with it if they could. NO problem after a few meetings. But one meeting, my first, almost turned me off to it completely . . .I hated it! One of the members here suggested I try other meetings and I lucked out on my second try with a great little home group that was just like me with professionals and blue collar types in it. But see I was a counselor and knew I was not going to make any headway until I got detoxed out of my home, a problem you won't have apparently. I quit the 28 day rehab at the third day or fourth I forget but it was not what I needed at that time. I have a nice home and supportive wife and family/friends, but the others in that rehab VA group were homeless save one, and I was taking up a space for, as the others said, " three hots and a cot," that another desperately needy person might need to survive. I did the counseling but the program required living in so I had to drop anyway and use my regular insurance for counseling.

My point? Use everything available and if AVRT does not work for you add AA, counseling, outpatient rehab, whatever it takes.

You have already done the biggest thing I originally posted, and that is to recognize that you weren't committed to anything but a break and resume s cycle before.

Hey you had me beat! I couldn't get one day sober before I went into the detox.

Rugby8

Well it's any help today was my day2 and other than sleeping and craving left over Christmas cookies I have felt MUCH better than yesterday.

Good luck dude....

Zebra1275

Welcome back! What you were doing before didn't work so you should change things up a bit. Have you gotten any face to face support, counseling or AA?

ovrock

How true...