cuyootoo

It's really difficult to quit drinking those first few days because alcohol messes your brain up for a few days. When your brain is messed up then it's difficult to do what you want, so you fail at living without alcohol. If you can just get past those few days until your brain starts working right again it will be a lot easier not to drink.

Don't be too hard on yourself for drinking again, you are at a disadvantage because your brain isn't working right. At least, if you are going to drink, you might as well enjoy your drinking and don't even bother trying to stop. No use wasting perfectly good alcohol

chained

Camille,
You can do this! There are going to be peaks and valleys, but as long as we remain patient with ourselves and we are determined, then we can make it one day...right? I relapsed yesterday after 2 years and 1 month clean, so today is my day 1 as well. I slipped and had a seriously powerful taste of the very thing that will take away everything I care about and never look back.
We just need to keep reminding ourselves that today (Saturday) you will not pick up a drink and I will not pick up a drug. Deal?
I have school all day tomorrow, so I know much of my time will be tied up. That is good. I will be home later in the evening, but I have a ten page paper due at midnight that I haven't even started yet. If I need to, I will definitely jump on here and get some support if I need it. You?
Alright girl, LETS DO IT! BRING IT ON!!
We WILL SUCCEED!

sugarbear1

It only took me 25 years to get my 6+ months! Wanna hear how bad it gets? Not saying.

You'll stay stopped! Start over tomorrow!

Vantrina

Camille,
Start over and be ok with that. Don't waste your energy beating yourself up. Say instead, "new day, new start, here I go…"

Take it hour by hour or minute by minute. Read the SR posts…there is a lot of support here.

Remember too that for some of us, cravings initially are sugar-related; so, maybe set yourself up with some soda or sparkling water and whatever sugar-infused foods you like as a help for when any cravings begin.

You can do this.

foodie1

Sending kind thoughts and warm wishes your way!!!!

EmeraldRose

Gerbosko is right...Be positive and reward yourself.
If I bought myself something as a reward there is a different thought process behind having or using said item. There is a reminder behind it of why you got it.

I keep my coin in my change purse...whenever I go to pay for something it is there as a reminder. I remind myself how lucky I am to be sober one more day and not to have opened up my change purse for an alcohol purchase.

I also have a garden stepping stone plaque on my kitchen counter that says "Live one day at a time". Every morning when I go to the kitchen to make my tea I am reminded yet again of the consequences and it gives me hope on a fresh new day.

Sticky notes work too. Put one on your bathroom mirror that says something like "Today Will Be A Happy Day"...or "Today I will help just one person"...or "Today I will Smile instead of biting my tongue" or the best one that worked for me was "Today I Will Not Drink".

Image101

Hi Camille,
I'm so sorry you're feeling this down. I know exactly what it feels like. I kept my 24 hour coin on me all the time before I finally got serious about sobriety; every time I drank again (which was very frequently) I would take it out and look at it and feel just awful, although I already felt awful every time I drank. I know the place you're in right now, and it's absolutely miserable. I had countless day ones, just like so many others here.

onlythetruth

CamilleBelle,

Please don't beat yourself up for this. Events like this are an opportunity to learn. Think about what happened, what you were thinking, what you told yourself that made it "okay" to drink even though you had decided not to.

You may be amazed at what you find. When I was in the last weeks of my drinking, I remember making the decision to quit every day and then failing every day. But then two things happened. One was that I made my decision to quit irrevocable and not subject to re-interpretation; and the other is that I started paying attention to what was going on with me when I "gave in" in the past and was tempted to "give in" in the present. Oddly enough, I "gave in" at the same time each day. Late afternoon. What was going on in the late afternoon? Well, I was hungry. I'd been drinking so long that my body interpreted hunger as a desire for alcohol, a craving. But if I ate something, even something small, the craving became manageable (it didn't go away, but I could ignore it).

So....use this as a learning opportunity, not as a reason to beat yourself up and definitely not as a reason to think you're hopeless, because you are not.

langkah

If it was hopeless no one would be sober. You might make a commitment to yourself to talk with another alcoholic before you drink, if you don't want to drink.

Dee74

how are you doing Camille?

D

CamilleBelle

It's funny, when the alcohol wears off, things seem a bit brighter. DUH!! I think I'm getting it... slowly but surely. All the posts here really help also. It's crazy when your hungover, and you think to yourself... "I'm never doing this again!" and then as soon as you start to feel better... right back at it.

I've been struggling with the realization that I am actually an alcoholic, so I think I've been pushing my limits even more than ever before for the last 2 months; kinda like if I'm gonna have to give it up, get as much as possible now?!?! I am feeling somewhat self destructive, and see that very clearly without alcohol in my system. I am no longer a social college drinker, (probably never was), I am an alcoholic.

I'm also realizing how hard this will be. I always thought, if I want to quit. I'll just stop. Easy as that. But I'm learning, it wont be easy. Darn hard actually. I know my mind will be fighting me every step of the way. I hate to read, but I'm almost done with one of the books I got and it is really helping me understand more about this problem and seems to have some really good advice and a step by step program, incorporating everything from nutrition, to AA, to exercise, ect.

I've never failed at anything I've wanted to do, and I want this!

LosingmyMisery

Yep, the reality of it all is...it is hard to quit. If it was easy there wouldn't be any alcoholics. Not to minimize, but it is extremely hard. The hardest part for me was the detox. The addiction to alcohol kept me tethered to it to ease the withdrawals. It is a viscous cycle. Once the booze was out of my system the real work began. I had to learn not to drink. I needed a plan. When that plan didn't work, I found one that did. Keep at it. You can do this.

Itchy

Yep it was easy to stop when you didn't need to, and too late to stop easily when you find you really need to.

I loved drinking when it was voluntary, but hated it when it became mandatory.

I detoxed in hospital and did AA and here and counseling using my family friends and Doctors for support. I also don't fail at anything. I did not relapse after my first serious quit date and 7 day in hospital detox, and it is permanent. All I needed was to get it out of my system, physically, and emotionally. It has been a year and 2.5 months. And I quit smoking three packs a day at the same time too! I haven't had one smoke either and won't. I am out of the danger zone and would not drink or smoke again even if I had a miracle and could be normal. I already had tens of thousands of drinks and smokes, I have been there, done that, got the T-Shirt. Like graduating from college I am not going back to repeat a course I already know, even if I liked it. Once I have done it it is tedious to do it again. Like growing up drinking was part of the less mature me.

Rather than have to sedate myself to face the consequences of all my bad decisions, I now make sober decisions and at least don't have to face the consequences of my own regrettable behaviors. We all have to deal with death and taxes, the rest is self inflicted, no?

You are making a lot of headway kiddo. Keep posting as you are making some astute observations about yourself. You're getting there.

Fandy

bump, hope you are making it through the first few days sober.