Is it still a loss not to have the euphoric high
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Amazing stuff here! I really appreciate this thread & the insightful responses.
I missed it once. I missed it so badly that I spent 20 years chasing it. I almost lost my life, only to find out I could never return to those early days of drinking. My tolerance was so huge in the end, no amount resulted in that old high, happy, carefree feeling. I used to see that as tragic, but now I see it as a blessing. Otherwise, I'd still be out there - numb, foggy, and wasting my life. Never learning, never growing - forever on square one.
I missed it once. I missed it so badly that I spent 20 years chasing it. I almost lost my life, only to find out I could never return to those early days of drinking. My tolerance was so huge in the end, no amount resulted in that old high, happy, carefree feeling. I used to see that as tragic, but now I see it as a blessing. Otherwise, I'd still be out there - numb, foggy, and wasting my life. Never learning, never growing - forever on square one.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Effortjoy
Thanks for starting this thread. Your description of wanting to press the "mute" button is so apt for me.
Last night I so wanted a drink, for those reasons just to get that 20 minutes or so of euphoria. I was at "work" helping in my daughter in law's shop. I stayed behind after closing time and more or less waited the feeling out. I didn't want to leave, I was worried once I got out I would buy some alcohol, I had got to the stage of thinking about which alcohol. My cravings settled down and I compromised by buying 2 mango slurpies and watching the latest episode of the Walking Dead.
It so annoys me that the cravings are still there. I felt angry that I couldn't get high.
I have been angry a lot lately, I thought if I drink, lose myself for a while then I am sure that I will release the tension and be less angry. Of course I am glad that I did not drink last night but I need to so something about this anger. Yesterday I felt it, talked about it and finally screamed it.
Oh well back to the drawing board (life)
CaiHong
Thanks for starting this thread. Your description of wanting to press the "mute" button is so apt for me.
Last night I so wanted a drink, for those reasons just to get that 20 minutes or so of euphoria. I was at "work" helping in my daughter in law's shop. I stayed behind after closing time and more or less waited the feeling out. I didn't want to leave, I was worried once I got out I would buy some alcohol, I had got to the stage of thinking about which alcohol. My cravings settled down and I compromised by buying 2 mango slurpies and watching the latest episode of the Walking Dead.
It so annoys me that the cravings are still there. I felt angry that I couldn't get high.
I have been angry a lot lately, I thought if I drink, lose myself for a while then I am sure that I will release the tension and be less angry. Of course I am glad that I did not drink last night but I need to so something about this anger. Yesterday I felt it, talked about it and finally screamed it.
Oh well back to the drawing board (life)
CaiHong
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: mo
Posts: 108
during the "euphoria" i talk,talk talk a bunch of ****,dream up grand schemes for the future, repeat myself over and over,dwell on crazy topics, usuallly political and listen to loud music.. i have developed a disdain for those moments as they have no basis in reality and are more reminiscent of thoughts of an adolescent,not a mature middle aged man!and the next day it all seems so hopelessly far away.
Nah, i am not missing it! It has been replaced with a more stable sense of well being and REAL hope for the future.
Nah, i am not missing it! It has been replaced with a more stable sense of well being and REAL hope for the future.
Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
AW, hell no! I don't miss that fleeting moment of euphoria, haven't for years. In fact, when I think of the things I'd have missed, just to capture that little nanosecond of woo-hoo...I've lived so much of my life without alcohol that I can't imagine ruining all that joy to chase that tiny thing.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
I honestly don't miss the euphoria. I spent years of my adult life being an obsessive control-freak. Eventually I started drinking. None of those years were happy at all. Stopping drinking, getting to know myself- warts and all, has given me peace. And peace wins hands-down over euphoria every time.
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
I may at first miss it but then when I think it through all the horrors of addiction come back and I don't miss that. What I miss the most sometimes is being numb to my feelings, sometimes I wish I could just be numb again. I know if I dwell on that to much it is a very dangerous and toxic place for me to be at. So I pray, go to a mtg, or tell on myself, cause we are only as sick as our secrets.
Thanks for the honesty it is refreshing because I know there are lots who feel this way but for whatever reason find it hard to acknowledge it? I think somehow some of us feel if we admitt it then there is a flaw in our program or recovery.
Thanks for the honesty it is refreshing because I know there are lots who feel this way but for whatever reason find it hard to acknowledge it? I think somehow some of us feel if we admitt it then there is a flaw in our program or recovery.
Last edited by newby1961; 11-16-2011 at 05:10 PM. Reason: put in some comma's
Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
It just occurred to me that I would have missed the most thrilling thing of my life, which was to fall in love...with the whole experience unsullied by alcohol. God, I would not have missed that for the world.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
Yea, it's the only thing I miss, I am having a crappy night (got pisssed at something stupid), so sitting here miserable sucks, if I were a drinking man, tonight I'd be drinking.
But then I'd be drinking everynight, then I'd be drinking so much I'd eventualy want to quit, so why bother, this too shall pass...
I mean who dont want to feel better right? but thinking it all the way through I know how it ends and that feeling is never there for long, but the drinking continues, on second thought I dont miss it, but I do feel better.
But then I'd be drinking everynight, then I'd be drinking so much I'd eventualy want to quit, so why bother, this too shall pass...
I mean who dont want to feel better right? but thinking it all the way through I know how it ends and that feeling is never there for long, but the drinking continues, on second thought I dont miss it, but I do feel better.
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
Thats what we are here for to share our experience strength & hope and hopefully the person reaching out will feel better or at least different.
I also read somewhere that feelings are not facts and that if you sit with a feeling it won't last more than a few days so its just imperative (I love that word lol) to get through it even if you have to sit on your hands.
Glad you are feeling better.
I also read somewhere that feelings are not facts and that if you sit with a feeling it won't last more than a few days so its just imperative (I love that word lol) to get through it even if you have to sit on your hands.
Glad you are feeling better.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Carver, MA
Posts: 3
I am only 4 nights," no alcohol," can't say the word sober yet. Euphoric high for me was the knowing I would be drinking soon.
I have been trying to plan something to take the place of the time of day that I just could not wait for. I really plan my evening well. Make sure I didnt have to drive anywhere (got made if I did) etc.
Really new at this but anything that got my adrenaline going before I drank, I have put on hold. I put on hold all those things that I thought I should be rewarded for by drinking. Somethings like stress cannot be put on hold and going to my bedroom where I spend lots of my time drinking. So, I am trying to avoid the "situation" for now or make sure I have a plan of what I will do once I am in my bedroom and if no plan, dont go there. I am trying to focus on the things I used to love doing that I have not done in a while, spending more time with my kids doing things they want to do (games, watch their show on tv). Spending alot of time planning my nights that I normally spent doing drinking things (the things I do when I drink alone).
I have been trying to plan something to take the place of the time of day that I just could not wait for. I really plan my evening well. Make sure I didnt have to drive anywhere (got made if I did) etc.
Really new at this but anything that got my adrenaline going before I drank, I have put on hold. I put on hold all those things that I thought I should be rewarded for by drinking. Somethings like stress cannot be put on hold and going to my bedroom where I spend lots of my time drinking. So, I am trying to avoid the "situation" for now or make sure I have a plan of what I will do once I am in my bedroom and if no plan, dont go there. I am trying to focus on the things I used to love doing that I have not done in a while, spending more time with my kids doing things they want to do (games, watch their show on tv). Spending alot of time planning my nights that I normally spent doing drinking things (the things I do when I drink alone).
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
If I didn't like it, I wouldn't have ended up addicted to it. I was curious, insatiable, ....taking risks... all that. Sure I miss some of that, some of it much much more than others.
I find, that for me, it is OK to acknowledge it. Look at it right in the eye. And then I can acknowledge that it ultimately cost me a great deal and I ended up losing it all anyway, never to get it back. Whether I continued on with that lifestyle or not.
Now I can move on, into a new way of life. I can do anything I want and have a good time.
Grieving that loss is part of the process for some of us. I say get on with it, grow through it and then, get a new life.
I find, that for me, it is OK to acknowledge it. Look at it right in the eye. And then I can acknowledge that it ultimately cost me a great deal and I ended up losing it all anyway, never to get it back. Whether I continued on with that lifestyle or not.
Now I can move on, into a new way of life. I can do anything I want and have a good time.
Grieving that loss is part of the process for some of us. I say get on with it, grow through it and then, get a new life.
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