My First Real Spiritual Experience in Recovery
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 521
My First Real Spiritual Experience in Recovery
Hey Everyone,
I am not really sure how to explain what happened yesterday. I am currently dealing with the consequences of my last DUI (my 3rd and final). I have opted to go to DUI court which means an intense year worth of consequences but overall less jail time and honestly a year to truly work a program of recovery. But, yesterday I almost felt like saying F- IT and go with a jury trail and see if I could get off. The problem is if I don’t get off the judge has told me she will throw the book at me. So yesterday, I was sitting around work… I was feeling sorry for myself. I am an alcoholic I don’t like being told what to do. If it is MY idea… then my center self is happy with it. But, if I am forced into doing something then I can be a true witch and self centered (imagine that a alcoholic with a major ego problem!!).
Anyway, yesterday I was really funky. I prayed… that didn’t work… I called three other alcoholics… and couldn’t get a hold of anyone… I posted on SR about being less harsh on myself… I wrote a journal entry. I prayed some more, finally got a hold of someone to talk to. They suggested writing a gratitude list. I wrote 3 pages worth of things to be grateful for. And, by the end of the day… when I laid down. I realized that somehow or another I wasn’t annoyed at my day. I wasn’t annoyed with my work, I wasn’t focused on myself. My problems somehow slipped away. And, it wasn’t until I got into work today and started facing my day that I realized that yesterday was a small refuge from what I normally have done. I talked to my higher power about getting me through the day… grateful and happy and somehow or another… it worked. It was simple and beautiful and it truly worked.
So for that and for today I am grateful. It is a small thing… but, it makes a big difference on how my day would normally go.
Thanks for reading.
Saliena
I am not really sure how to explain what happened yesterday. I am currently dealing with the consequences of my last DUI (my 3rd and final). I have opted to go to DUI court which means an intense year worth of consequences but overall less jail time and honestly a year to truly work a program of recovery. But, yesterday I almost felt like saying F- IT and go with a jury trail and see if I could get off. The problem is if I don’t get off the judge has told me she will throw the book at me. So yesterday, I was sitting around work… I was feeling sorry for myself. I am an alcoholic I don’t like being told what to do. If it is MY idea… then my center self is happy with it. But, if I am forced into doing something then I can be a true witch and self centered (imagine that a alcoholic with a major ego problem!!).
Anyway, yesterday I was really funky. I prayed… that didn’t work… I called three other alcoholics… and couldn’t get a hold of anyone… I posted on SR about being less harsh on myself… I wrote a journal entry. I prayed some more, finally got a hold of someone to talk to. They suggested writing a gratitude list. I wrote 3 pages worth of things to be grateful for. And, by the end of the day… when I laid down. I realized that somehow or another I wasn’t annoyed at my day. I wasn’t annoyed with my work, I wasn’t focused on myself. My problems somehow slipped away. And, it wasn’t until I got into work today and started facing my day that I realized that yesterday was a small refuge from what I normally have done. I talked to my higher power about getting me through the day… grateful and happy and somehow or another… it worked. It was simple and beautiful and it truly worked.
So for that and for today I am grateful. It is a small thing… but, it makes a big difference on how my day would normally go.
Thanks for reading.
Saliena
*Grateful*
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
That is so huge Saliena! I was in a funk on Sunday over something that happened months ago and keeps cropping back up.
I know that the key for me is to get out of SELF when I am down. So after church I invited my husbands cousin and her husband over for the Packer game. It sure did help me to quit thinking about myself to love and serve someone else!
Serving and loving others for me helps me overcome fear, anxiety, depression, etc.
You are doing a great job, keep it up!!
Lily
I know that the key for me is to get out of SELF when I am down. So after church I invited my husbands cousin and her husband over for the Packer game. It sure did help me to quit thinking about myself to love and serve someone else!
Serving and loving others for me helps me overcome fear, anxiety, depression, etc.
You are doing a great job, keep it up!!
Lily
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
The daily practice of gratitude (picked up from Least) has made an enormous difference to me this attempt at sobriety. It is hard to be grateful and angry/resentful at the same time. Gratitude also seems to take the edge off the self centredness that is toxic.
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