Day 2 ... again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 176
I'm definitely not disregarding any possibility of a higher power. I find it hard to believe, considering what we do know of the universe and how insanely complex it is, that there isn't something out there greater than ourselves... whether divine or just extremely intelligent. The choice someone makes to seek a higher power, in any form, that promotes goodwill and moral upstanding is not something I could ever frown upon. I try to take an approach of complete humility towards the matter, because I just can't comprehend it all... but maybe we're not supposed to. I suppose that's where having faith in something comes into play.
I was raised in a church home and it was forced down my throat. This turned me off from religion the moment I decided to think for myself and question... life/the meaning of it all, however you want to put it. Perhaps a spiritual journey of my own design will lead me to a better place in life BECAUSE I'm an alcoholic.
Thanks everyone for the replies. Talking about addiction, and the matters surrounding it, with others who understand it only because they have the same problem, definitely helps.
Time to do some soul searching.
I was raised in a church home and it was forced down my throat. This turned me off from religion the moment I decided to think for myself and question... life/the meaning of it all, however you want to put it. Perhaps a spiritual journey of my own design will lead me to a better place in life BECAUSE I'm an alcoholic.
Thanks everyone for the replies. Talking about addiction, and the matters surrounding it, with others who understand it only because they have the same problem, definitely helps.
Time to do some soul searching.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 176
Day 5!
Most withdrawal symptoms are gone now except for the excessive night sweats and the weird dreams.
I'm just glad to be at work right now with no hangover lol. Still just thankful to be alive and kicking.
I missed my first AA meeting lastnight due to a server migration, so I'm going to one on my lunch break today. I feel like if I don't go at my first opportunity I'll start slipping. I did have a brief conversation with my sponsor after the meeting had ended lastnight, which was nice.
Take care all, and have a great day!
Most withdrawal symptoms are gone now except for the excessive night sweats and the weird dreams.
I'm just glad to be at work right now with no hangover lol. Still just thankful to be alive and kicking.
I missed my first AA meeting lastnight due to a server migration, so I'm going to one on my lunch break today. I feel like if I don't go at my first opportunity I'll start slipping. I did have a brief conversation with my sponsor after the meeting had ended lastnight, which was nice.
Take care all, and have a great day!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 176
Day 6!
Having a good day. Getting a lot done around work now that I'm not hungover or half drunk.
I went to my first AA meeting in the city yesterday during my lunch break and it was pretty interesting. I normally commute to work so my general AA group is like.. 10 people max. This was much larger and had many younger people who looked like they were just getting their slips signed or whatever.
Anyhow cruising along. My meeting is tonight at 8. Kind of stinks thinking about spending my Friday night at a meeting, but it's better than the other place or places I'd be.
I might even pick up a new xbox game or something afterwards and try to revert back to some old hobbies. Anyhow, just checking in. I'm hoping to make this a part of my daily routine in sobriety.
EDIT: Interesting conversation I had with someone in AA yesterday about overcoming the thought of "I can never have another drink again" ... I guess the finality of never experiencing that euphoric feeling again. This guy had 11 years sober and his answer was "ya know, I can go down the street right now and have a beer if I want, whether or not it leads to 20 I don't know, the fact is, I can still choose to drink if I want... there are no chains barring me from this. What keeps me from drinking, is knowing that while I may not be euphorically, stupid, slobbering, and happy drunk... I'm happy enough knowing that tomorrow I'll be just as happy, sad, or angry as I am today, but I can actually do something REAL in my life to impact those emotions from their root. The rollercoaster of emotion filled with all of the downs of drinking is over and that's enough for me to not drink tonight."
Having a good day. Getting a lot done around work now that I'm not hungover or half drunk.
I went to my first AA meeting in the city yesterday during my lunch break and it was pretty interesting. I normally commute to work so my general AA group is like.. 10 people max. This was much larger and had many younger people who looked like they were just getting their slips signed or whatever.
Anyhow cruising along. My meeting is tonight at 8. Kind of stinks thinking about spending my Friday night at a meeting, but it's better than the other place or places I'd be.
I might even pick up a new xbox game or something afterwards and try to revert back to some old hobbies. Anyhow, just checking in. I'm hoping to make this a part of my daily routine in sobriety.
EDIT: Interesting conversation I had with someone in AA yesterday about overcoming the thought of "I can never have another drink again" ... I guess the finality of never experiencing that euphoric feeling again. This guy had 11 years sober and his answer was "ya know, I can go down the street right now and have a beer if I want, whether or not it leads to 20 I don't know, the fact is, I can still choose to drink if I want... there are no chains barring me from this. What keeps me from drinking, is knowing that while I may not be euphorically, stupid, slobbering, and happy drunk... I'm happy enough knowing that tomorrow I'll be just as happy, sad, or angry as I am today, but I can actually do something REAL in my life to impact those emotions from their root. The rollercoaster of emotion filled with all of the downs of drinking is over and that's enough for me to not drink tonight."
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 521
Awwwwwww... well there are a couple of kick ass games coming out right now... 
And, let me tell you at some point in the near future you might even find you look forward to a Friday meeting. Weirder things have been known to happen.
I connected to your story Programmer... being a QA Manager and I... I always say I get paid to point out the flaws in the ugly baby and a programmer gets paid to fix the ugly baby. Congrats on almost a full week sober!!
Make sure you don't go slipping this weekend. Someone once told me that I have a thinking problem not a drinking problem. I can find almost any reason to think myself drunk. If it is a day that ends in Y then I am there!
And, let me tell you at some point in the near future you might even find you look forward to a Friday meeting. Weirder things have been known to happen.I connected to your story Programmer... being a QA Manager and I... I always say I get paid to point out the flaws in the ugly baby and a programmer gets paid to fix the ugly baby. Congrats on almost a full week sober!!
Make sure you don't go slipping this weekend. Someone once told me that I have a thinking problem not a drinking problem. I can find almost any reason to think myself drunk.
If it is a day that ends in Y then I am there!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 176
AHH QA grab the torches!!!!!!! (haha I'm jk)
Luckily right now I'm not programming and just a sys admin in the medical field. I wouldn't shed too many tears if I do not return to being a code monkey, but I can't say what's in store for the future.
I'm thinking I may just pick up some junk food and nerd out to Skyrim after my meeting tonight. It's sad when that would actually make my girlfriend happy haha.
cheers
Luckily right now I'm not programming and just a sys admin in the medical field. I wouldn't shed too many tears if I do not return to being a code monkey, but I can't say what's in store for the future.
I'm thinking I may just pick up some junk food and nerd out to Skyrim after my meeting tonight. It's sad when that would actually make my girlfriend happy haha.
cheers
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 176
Day 9.
The first real fleeting thoughts of alcohol happened yesterday. I'll be going to dinner with the parents after work, and then to a meeting immediately after.
This is the time when I really start to struggle. I know the changes I've made are going to help me break over the 15 day hump I seem to have been unable to get beyond in the last 3 years, but I'm anxious to see my mental condition during this time period.
I'm looking forward to day 16 and beyond! As Buzz Lightyear would say if he were a recovering alcoholic lol.
Take care people!
The first real fleeting thoughts of alcohol happened yesterday. I'll be going to dinner with the parents after work, and then to a meeting immediately after.
This is the time when I really start to struggle. I know the changes I've made are going to help me break over the 15 day hump I seem to have been unable to get beyond in the last 3 years, but I'm anxious to see my mental condition during this time period.
I'm looking forward to day 16 and beyond! As Buzz Lightyear would say if he were a recovering alcoholic lol.
Take care people!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 176
DAY 11! haha I had to take a company car to an outlying office today to switch their isp over and I didn't have to worry about wreaking of alcohol if I got pulled over.
The best thing I've noticed so far about sobriety is actually enjoying the sunlight instead of it piercing my vision like a knife.
Take care all!
The best thing I've noticed so far about sobriety is actually enjoying the sunlight instead of it piercing my vision like a knife.
Take care all!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
