How did you make it your first 6 months?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 456
How did you make it your first 6 months?
There are a lot of newcomers on this forum and a lot of people in a great deal of pain.
I would like to hear what others did to stay sober for the first six months or so. I chose 6 months as an arbitrary number because it demonstrates someone who made a plan and stuck to a plan with some commitment.
I am working with a friend right now who is just starting into treatment and it reminds me so much of myself my first sober days.
Anger, hate, disgust - all feelings I don't have to feel anymore.
I hope this will be good stuff for the newcomers.
I would like to hear what others did to stay sober for the first six months or so. I chose 6 months as an arbitrary number because it demonstrates someone who made a plan and stuck to a plan with some commitment.
I am working with a friend right now who is just starting into treatment and it reminds me so much of myself my first sober days.
Anger, hate, disgust - all feelings I don't have to feel anymore.
I hope this will be good stuff for the newcomers.
Last edited by StPeteGrad; 11-02-2011 at 10:20 PM. Reason: add
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
when I look back to the first 6 months acceptance was key for me.
I came here, having nearly died from my drinking, but still not sure if it was a problem - maybe everyone went through this stuff...but I knew they didn't...
so....maybe I was just totally different to everyone else and this was the way I got through life?
Coming here and reading though I found I wasn't alone at all - *so* many stories here resonated with me.
I finally accepted that if I wanted the life I dreamed of, and if I wanted to be the man I knew I could be, I had to accept that I couldn't drink anymore - ever - the relationship alcohol and I had was an irreversibly toxic one. Drinking could no longer be a viable option.
I finally accepted that change was possible for me
SR became an important part of reinforcing that acceptance for me, but more than that even I gained a lot of hope and inspiration here, along with all the wisdom and guidance.
and most of all I learned I could learn a lot about the world - and an incredible amount about myself by helping others - funny how that works
I grew a lot in those initial 6 months
D
I came here, having nearly died from my drinking, but still not sure if it was a problem - maybe everyone went through this stuff...but I knew they didn't...
so....maybe I was just totally different to everyone else and this was the way I got through life?
Coming here and reading though I found I wasn't alone at all - *so* many stories here resonated with me.
I finally accepted that if I wanted the life I dreamed of, and if I wanted to be the man I knew I could be, I had to accept that I couldn't drink anymore - ever - the relationship alcohol and I had was an irreversibly toxic one. Drinking could no longer be a viable option.
I finally accepted that change was possible for me
SR became an important part of reinforcing that acceptance for me, but more than that even I gained a lot of hope and inspiration here, along with all the wisdom and guidance.
and most of all I learned I could learn a lot about the world - and an incredible amount about myself by helping others - funny how that works
I grew a lot in those initial 6 months
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Roxboro, NC
Posts: 544
By the grace of God.
I had a bit of an edge. I had been forced to go to AA in 1995. I stayed sober almost 6 months then. So last year about this time I decided that I could go no further living the way I was living. I asked the work nurse to give me a script for antibuse and I told her as she was writing it that I was going back to AA. So I knew AA was there and I new it worked if I worked it.
Acceptance wasn't real hard for me. I knew I was an alcoholic a long time ago. I just chose not to do anything about it.
So the key for me was surrendering. Putting the shovel down and stop digging. I got my butt to a meeting, got a big book that same night, and started reading.
Total surrender.
I had a bit of an edge. I had been forced to go to AA in 1995. I stayed sober almost 6 months then. So last year about this time I decided that I could go no further living the way I was living. I asked the work nurse to give me a script for antibuse and I told her as she was writing it that I was going back to AA. So I knew AA was there and I new it worked if I worked it.
Acceptance wasn't real hard for me. I knew I was an alcoholic a long time ago. I just chose not to do anything about it.
So the key for me was surrendering. Putting the shovel down and stop digging. I got my butt to a meeting, got a big book that same night, and started reading.
Total surrender.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Acceptance was also key for me!
Recognizing the 'alcoholic voice'. That every craving and
was just the alcohol talking.
Being very de.lib.er.ate in my approach to stressful situations/cravings.
Recognizing the 'alcoholic voice'. That every craving and
was just the alcohol talking.Being very de.lib.er.ate in my approach to stressful situations/cravings.
- have craving/alcoholic thought (like "my kids are driving me nuts. I need a drink")
- acknowledge craving an alcoholic thought ("That's a crazy, ridiculous alcoholic thing to think. Normal people deal with stressful kids all the time and they don't drink daily over it")
- consider alternatives ("I could go to Target when my husband gets home. Get a little break" or "How about I take us all out of ice cream right now. The break will do us good".)
- Go through the motions of a 'healthy/normal person' action (go to get ice cream/Target)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: CT
Posts: 181
I had struggled with drinking for a number of years. I was/am a classic 'not yet' guy. Nothing 'too bad' happened to turn me around. Everyone else's rock bottom was ' much worse' than mine - I didn't 'really have one'. After about 6 months of really 'cutting back' (really, really cutting back), my wife was fed up. She told me I had to move out and leave my family if I didn't stop drinking. I was not prepared to sacrifice my marriage and family to get drunk.
I realized, like a curtain being pulled back, that I could not 'control' or 'cut back' when it came to drinking. I had to stop. I'd lived in the gray area of working to control my drinking for a long time. The choice for me became very black and white. And it was a big relief.
Once I surrendered this fight, I won the battle (at least for now). I went to AA meetings a lot for the first couple months and developed a small group of people I could call and chat with.
'One Day at a Time' is a powerful statement. I don't know if I will never drink again, but I do know with reasonable certainty, that I will not drink today.
If I keep putting off drinking the same way I kept putting off stopping, that should get me through the next 20 years or so.
I hope something here is of some use to someone. All the best!
I realized, like a curtain being pulled back, that I could not 'control' or 'cut back' when it came to drinking. I had to stop. I'd lived in the gray area of working to control my drinking for a long time. The choice for me became very black and white. And it was a big relief.
Once I surrendered this fight, I won the battle (at least for now). I went to AA meetings a lot for the first couple months and developed a small group of people I could call and chat with.
'One Day at a Time' is a powerful statement. I don't know if I will never drink again, but I do know with reasonable certainty, that I will not drink today.
If I keep putting off drinking the same way I kept putting off stopping, that should get me through the next 20 years or so.
I hope something here is of some use to someone. All the best!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 1,061
I finally made the decision to quit. After I had made the decision I rid my house of any open booze, I found sober recovery and started reading anything I could about quitting and recovery. The first couple of months were not very fun, but when people say it gets a little better everyday, that is the truth, a person just has to hang in there...one day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
I was a very high functioning drug user. So there was little motivation to quit other than protecting my marriage.
So honestly, it was not having access to drugs that did it. I went to rehab in a strange town for about 2 months or so and while there, my marriage ended. Then, I got out, had no where to go, no money, and did not know how to drive in a town without good public transportation.
It was that simple. I was so focused on simply surviving that I could not focus on anything else. It may have helped that it had gotten to the point where I only used to get rid of cravings, not because I enjoyed it.
They say that the geographic cure does not help, but in my case it did. I moved to a place where I did not know how to get my drug of choice and had no money to do so in any case. That gave me the time needed to get over it.
So honestly, it was not having access to drugs that did it. I went to rehab in a strange town for about 2 months or so and while there, my marriage ended. Then, I got out, had no where to go, no money, and did not know how to drive in a town without good public transportation.
It was that simple. I was so focused on simply surviving that I could not focus on anything else. It may have helped that it had gotten to the point where I only used to get rid of cravings, not because I enjoyed it.
They say that the geographic cure does not help, but in my case it did. I moved to a place where I did not know how to get my drug of choice and had no money to do so in any case. That gave me the time needed to get over it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,707
"Go through the motions of a 'healthy/normal person' action (go to get ice cream/Target)"
-this is very important to me. Rather than cocooning and drinking when I feel alone or stressed, I kick my butt out the door and go shopping or something. Interact with people. Grab a coffee. Whatever. Just GET OUT.
-this is very important to me. Rather than cocooning and drinking when I feel alone or stressed, I kick my butt out the door and go shopping or something. Interact with people. Grab a coffee. Whatever. Just GET OUT.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 456
Here's a post I did on another thread:
I had to take a total time out for 30 days. I stayed away from ALL of my friends. I was 40 year old dad of two young children comitting suicide by alcoholism. This is MY program and it was none of my business what others thought of me. I'm not going to hear their pity when I'm dead.
I have rewritten who I am. I socialize only with sober people. I don't go to bars for any reason. I wrote on my bathroom mirror "what will you do to stay sober today."
I rely on the support of AA. It is a very social organization of very good people. It fills that void of losing all my bar "friends" but gives me a sense of purpose outside the house.
Define your goal, make a plan, follow the plan.
As we say in AA, "the plan is very simple, but not easy."
I have not had to drink in .72years/8.64 months/262 days/6307 hours.
I had to take a total time out for 30 days. I stayed away from ALL of my friends. I was 40 year old dad of two young children comitting suicide by alcoholism. This is MY program and it was none of my business what others thought of me. I'm not going to hear their pity when I'm dead.
I have rewritten who I am. I socialize only with sober people. I don't go to bars for any reason. I wrote on my bathroom mirror "what will you do to stay sober today."
I rely on the support of AA. It is a very social organization of very good people. It fills that void of losing all my bar "friends" but gives me a sense of purpose outside the house.
Define your goal, make a plan, follow the plan.
As we say in AA, "the plan is very simple, but not easy."
I have not had to drink in .72years/8.64 months/262 days/6307 hours.
Last edited by StPeteGrad; 11-03-2011 at 08:26 AM. Reason: add
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Mebane, NC
Posts: 6
For me, I had to find things to do with my time. Getting sober wasn't hard for me but staying that way for any length of time has always been a challenge. To start, I began to do things around the house that regular people already do. I took care of that huge pile of laundry, started shopping for food, cleaned the house up ect. From that point on I found that my danger zone was coming home from work after a good, long, hard day. Right away, I was hungry, lonely, and tired, sometimes angry. ( I was told about HALT, don't get too hungry,angry, lonely, or tired). I found that right away it was important for me to eat something. I could also stop and eat somewhere and I was no longer alone, had a chance to rest, and got full. I'm not sure about others, but I liked to drink on an empty stomach. Once I would eat, I would usually be done drinking for awhile. After doing this for awhile, I started going to the supermarket and doing the cooking at home. It was a little healthier and cheaper that eating out plus it took up more of that danger time where I would normally be drinking, or already drunk.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 456
I'm not sure about others, but I liked to drink on an empty stomach.
I stopped eating for that very reason. As soon as I ate I would get very tired and lose my desire to drink - but I still had to consume.
Last edited by StPeteGrad; 11-03-2011 at 08:46 AM. Reason: quote
Encourager In Training
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: KS
Posts: 717
Since day one of quitting I have felt so, so fortunate…like I’ve been delivered from a terrible, life-threatening trap. Ever thankful for a second chance to engage in this wonderful ride called life, I view drinking as a chapter of my history that is irrevocably closed. It’s done, it’s over. They retired my jersey. I’m out.
I ditto those who have mentioned acceptance. I fully embrace the notion I am fundamentally different from “normies”. As a result of this acceptance, I have no desire to be a normie. The desire is not within me for the same reason I do not wish to be eight feet tall or an international movie star. Despite my many flaws and weaknesses, I have at least gotten it through my thick skull that coveting the impossible should be left to children.
I ditto those who have mentioned acceptance. I fully embrace the notion I am fundamentally different from “normies”. As a result of this acceptance, I have no desire to be a normie. The desire is not within me for the same reason I do not wish to be eight feet tall or an international movie star. Despite my many flaws and weaknesses, I have at least gotten it through my thick skull that coveting the impossible should be left to children.
rode hard and put away wet
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 999
Originally Posted by SSIL75 
Acceptance was also key for me!
Recognizing the 'alcoholic voice'. That every craving and was just the alcohol talking.
Being very de.lib.er.ate in my approach to stressful situations/cravings.
Recognizing the 'alcoholic voice'. That every craving and
was just the alcohol talking.Being very de.lib.er.ate in my approach to stressful situations/cravings.
- have craving/alcoholic thought (like "my kids are driving me nuts. I need a drink")
- acknowledge craving an alcoholic thought ("That's a crazy, ridiculous alcoholic thing to think. Normal people deal with stressful kids all the time and they don't drink daily over it")
- consider alternatives ("I could go to Target when my husband gets home. Get a little break" or "How about I take us all out of ice cream right now. The break will do us good".)
- Go through the motions of a 'healthy/normal person' action (go to get ice cream/Target)
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
StPeteGrad, when I found this place here I started to read everything I could find. Within a week I had started to engage by posting and responding, and soon after I was passing on my encouragement, limited experience and limitless enthusiasm.
After a month here, I came to see that trying to help others with their struggles strengthened my own resolve and also boosted my self esteem. I am seeing the same thing in other new members who are finding that participating here is excellent therapy.
SR and taking an interest in other members is a huge part of my plan to stay sober for a long long time.
After a month here, I came to see that trying to help others with their struggles strengthened my own resolve and also boosted my self esteem. I am seeing the same thing in other new members who are finding that participating here is excellent therapy.
SR and taking an interest in other members is a huge part of my plan to stay sober for a long long time.
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