Surlyredhead

I just don't think that advising someone to drink, when they are here for help is a good idea on any level. One of the things we are here for is to help each other make it through the difficult times WITHOUT using and going for another walk through hell. What if.....by "testing it again" the person doesn't make it back at all...or hurts an innocent person while drunk or high. I just don't get it
After several attempts to try controlled drinking, that cost me everything except my life I now have 17 1/2 years with not ONE drink...not trying to convince you, just stating a fact....it CAN be done.
Zena, it took a little while, but I was forgiven, and my life today is good. Please, don't give up, it will be difficult at times, people may take longer to forgive than you want, and some may not forgive at all, but sobriety is so worth it...it will get better and you are not alone in your struggle.

Cathy

EricL

And people on here would somehow be responsible for that??

Sure people are here asking for help, but what if alcohol/drugs is not their problem?

I hope Ryan checks back and lets us know how things are going.

That proposition, the disturbing me on the question of my alcoholism saved my life, it gave me a full knowledge of my condition. I've seen it give countless people valuable information about themselves over the years.

The only way I was convinced that this was a serious deal, an affliction I would ultimately die from, is by drinking my way into a sense of reasonableness where I was willing to accept help.

EricL

Yes, absolutely I was forgiven. Relationships with my family and friends were resurrected, I'm able to face people free of shame. It is an indescribably wonderful turn of events and in stark contrast to the way my life looked prior to accepting help.

Surlyredhead

I am a bit confused as to how you got that out of my statement. When I chose to drink, I was responsible for my actions, and only me. I simply stated that advising someone to drink when they are here for help to NOT drink confuses me....and it still does.

EricL

Oh, I thought you were implying that by giving that advice we would somehow be responsible. My misunderstanding.

The reason I offer it is that in my experience, I was never really able to obtain any kind of peace in my life when I still had that nagging question that maybe I wasn't an alcoholic, maybe I could drink like others. The only way I was able to answer those questions, the only way I was able throw down my defenses and actually make sobriety possible was by totally convinced that there was no other option if I wanted a life.

Believe me, I know its not a popular piece of advice. The first time someone had said it to me I was pretty angry. But, like I said, it saved my life.

Not trying to offend anyone, just what worked for me and many, many, people I know.

Aegian

Generally, yes, but that wasn't the point of this thread (along with others posted by the OP). The member is asking for psychological assistance with justifying breaking his 5 month sobriety based on a disbelief that people really do quit and stay quit.

Like Dee said above, sometimes it is helpful to read back through old topics before making assumptions.

Dee74

are you out there Ryan?
I hope you'll check on soon

D

SSIL75

You're reminding me that in my early sobriety I was lured by having maybe 2 benders a year. 2 trips (really I only take one but I thought I could increase it). And I would drink there and then get back on the wagon when I got home.

I realized this plan had pitfalls. Namely that it was a big effort (historically) for me not to drink on the Monday morning after my trip. A hangover so bad all I could do was drink through it. Also, would I totally lose control and black out when faced with alcohol for the first time in months? AND what would my husband think of this plan. Would I have to tell him?

That was back when sobriety had an element of deprivation to it. Before I backfilled the void that alcohol left.
Back when I thought alcohol was a preference and not a compulsion.
Back when I thought alcohol was part of the fabric of normal life.
Back when a hangover felt like a good excuse to laze around and eat a lot.
Back when I thought that being 'a drinker' made me more interesting and fun.
Back when I thought the only thing 'being sober' meant nothing more than removing alcohol from my life.

Basically I didn't get it. I just didn't get that being sober was a gain and not a loss.

Give sobriety a real shot!

24hrsAday

good point Anna.. you never know what will happen do you?

michelle01

I used to play these games also, it didn't lead me anywhere, each time set me back a bit further on the road of recovery... I can see that now, however fully I realized it at the time or not. Honestly, I think that complete abstinence is easier for me these days. I like having the obsession out of my head... when the next time is gonna be, how long can I do this balancing act, etc etc. I can say that with 100 per cent honesty these days. I am better off. Binge drinking, as we have all seen lately and I've experienced also (here still by pure luck), is a dangerous activity.

When I say the road of recovery, I don't just mean I am alcohol free, it's also about overall personal recovery.

Thank you however for your honesty in asking, I used to feel the same way.

SomethingBetter

Well said Michelle, all we can do is suggest and advise, in the end we each have to be responsible for our own actions, I hid my drinking so well at times that it was no one else’s business.

Like you I think it’s just easier to not want the drink in the first place, and I too think I got here by sure luck or divine intervention, I can’t chance that again, there may not be a next time, for me.

KayLove

I can't answer that question because I ask myself the same thing all the time, what I can do is share my recent experience. I'm a binge, blackout drinker, once I have one I'll have as many as I can till the night is through. I made it just over 30days sober between Sept. and Oct. but my b-day was the 21st of Oct. so I asked myself the same question. Decided it was ok and went out with my friends and got black out drunk within 2hrs. My friend was driving so even if I was "the drunk girl" I figured no harm, no fowl. This Sat. hey, it was halloween weekend, why can't I live a little and go out for a drink. This time I was driving. yesterday morning on my way home I crashed. Thank God I hit a parked car and no one was in it, I had my seat belt on and I'm ok. My car is not. It is probably totaled I will find out tomorrow. I'm in trouble with the cops and have court next month. Was it ok for me? no. You may just be staying in the house and figure this is not related but please think twice, which I figure you are since you are on here asking. I really wish I knew about this site before yesterday because I thought to myself before I went out "If only I had someone to talk me out of this, cuz I know this can't end well" but I'm sure you know the feeling of knowing your gonna do it anyway.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best!

Dee74

welcome to SR KayLove - thanks for sharing some of your story...I'm really glad you or noone else was hurt.

D

RobbyRobot

Ryan, I'm a sober alcoholic drug addict, been sober 30 yrs now, and truth be told, I don't see any problem in drinking. Shocking, perhaps, but there it is. So, how did I get 30 unbroken yrs without having a drinking problem?

Alcoholism was always my problem, never the problems that go with the drinking or the drugging. In fact, my drunken experience has been the more I thought that drinking was my "problem", the more I tested that thinking out, to my sorrow of course, because I was (am) an alcoholic, and not just another drinker.

Alcoholism is not problem drinking. Alcoholism is an illness beyond human control and remedy. Problem drinking can be solved well within the realm of human effort and resources.

Alcoholism recovery requires a desired spiritual-psyche solution which of course requires daily sobriety to be maintained and ensured, or else drinking, in one manner or the other, simply continues until death for the alcoholic.

If you're an alcoholic Ryan, then drinking will eventually kill you one way or another, but no one, including you, can see into the crystal ball to know what exact day would be the death of you. Not knowing that exact day is no excuse to pretend one night of drinking wont be deadly. Who knows, right?

If you're not alcoholic Ryan, than you're almost certainly a problem drinker, based on your past posts here at SR. Alcohol has never been known to solve any problems, of course, so again, drinking seems to not be the answer to decide if its okay to drink every now and again while suffering from problem drinking.

Alcohol does not only get alcoholics drunk. Problem drinkers also get drunk with alcohol. And of course, just everyday "normal" drinkers can also get drunk on alcohol. In that drunkeness, things are not as clear as being sober, no matter our history with alcohol. Statistics are filled with people dying from alcohol related accidents and they were neither alcoholic or problem drinkers themselves. They were just trying to have a good time. How ironic.

For myself, I don't tell others to drink to discover the lasting truth of whether they should continue to drink or decide to forever stop. Same as i dont tell others to test out whether a gun is loaded or not by pulling the trigger. Thats nasty. Let's be honest.

You asked for truthful answers. You don't need to drink alcohol to discover the final truth about you and drinking. Just look around yourself, look at your past, and present life, your world, your family and friends, your loves and hates, your successes and failures, your dreams and nightmares.

And then ask yourself this: is that all there is? Is there nothing more? Do I have choices? Do I live my own life from the inside out? Or do I wear it like a used and tattered overcoat?

In seeking those answers you'll also discover in the same journey the answers to whether drinking is a problem for you or not.

Be true to yourself.