Advice and Thoughts
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: cleveland, oho
Posts: 57
Advice and Thoughts
Im being very serious here. I know all the stories about play the tape out, you will wind up worse than you were, the whole thing. I am being very serious here what is wrong with one night of drinking. I just still dont see the seriousness of drinking for one night, yes I like to drink,, who doesnt? Im not going to die. I want to have some friends over and watch the world series. Is that seriously that big of a problem??? No, I would rather not hear the AA mantra...please advise.. I cant and will not believe posters here have not done the same, but just have not admitted it,,, I could be wrong
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
RyanRiley, there is nothing wrong at all about one more night of drinking. In fact, there is nothing wrong at all with two more nights of drinking, or three or four or any number you chose to pick. I just don't think it's a matter of right and wrong at all. I do think that it is a matter of choosing the way you want to live the rest of your life.
I heard this idea explained like this. When we die, somewhere on our grave marker will be something like this: Date of Birth --- Date of Death. The bookends are not interesting, but the part in the middle, the dash part, is what we have to work with. What do you chose to do with your dash? Up to you, Ryan.
I heard this idea explained like this. When we die, somewhere on our grave marker will be something like this: Date of Birth --- Date of Death. The bookends are not interesting, but the part in the middle, the dash part, is what we have to work with. What do you chose to do with your dash? Up to you, Ryan.
rode hard and put away wet
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 999
OMG. I used to believe this too!!
"I cant and will not believe posters here have not done the same, but just have not admitted it,,, I could be wrong "
Someone would say, "I've been sober for x amount of years" and I would immediately think "Yeah, right. You're not fooling me". I never trusted that the people who said they were sober for any length of time were actually telling the truth.
But that changed after a while. I don't know when I started to believe what they said about their sobriety time was the truth but when I did finally decide to take their word, things started to change for me. I began to have some hope that I could be that way too and eventually I stopped drinking altogether.
For me, if I had one night of drinking with friends, it would just turn into more nights and days with more reasons to drink, then more nights and days of blackouts and horror and more damage and heartache for everyone around me. That's just the kind of drinker I am - give me an inch and I'll hang myself with it. If not right away, then slowly and eventually, which I consider more torturous.
"I cant and will not believe posters here have not done the same, but just have not admitted it,,, I could be wrong "
Someone would say, "I've been sober for x amount of years" and I would immediately think "Yeah, right. You're not fooling me". I never trusted that the people who said they were sober for any length of time were actually telling the truth.
But that changed after a while. I don't know when I started to believe what they said about their sobriety time was the truth but when I did finally decide to take their word, things started to change for me. I began to have some hope that I could be that way too and eventually I stopped drinking altogether.
For me, if I had one night of drinking with friends, it would just turn into more nights and days with more reasons to drink, then more nights and days of blackouts and horror and more damage and heartache for everyone around me. That's just the kind of drinker I am - give me an inch and I'll hang myself with it. If not right away, then slowly and eventually, which I consider more torturous.
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
As long as I kept justifying my drinking there was no reason to quit.
I wonder how many people who don't have a problem w/alcohol come on sites like these and try and convice others its OK for them to drink?
I wonder how many people who don't have a problem w/alcohol come on sites like these and try and convice others its OK for them to drink?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 174
Ryan,
If an occasional night of drinking was in your DNA, you wouldn't be here.
Each of us has our cross to bear, if you will, and you need to come to grips with what yours are. Non-alcoholics don't think/obsess about drinking, they don't plan it - they just do or they don't. Thats what makes us different from them.
Yeah, it isn't fair, but no one ever said life was fair.
Your call if you want to kick the lid back off of Pandora's box, but before you do, please weigh the cost. You have already paid steeply at the altar of alcohol. You want to give it what you have left?
If an occasional night of drinking was in your DNA, you wouldn't be here.
Each of us has our cross to bear, if you will, and you need to come to grips with what yours are. Non-alcoholics don't think/obsess about drinking, they don't plan it - they just do or they don't. Thats what makes us different from them.
Yeah, it isn't fair, but no one ever said life was fair.
Your call if you want to kick the lid back off of Pandora's box, but before you do, please weigh the cost. You have already paid steeply at the altar of alcohol. You want to give it what you have left?
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,908
Originally Posted by ryanriley 
Im being very serious here. I know all the stories about play the tape out, you will wind up worse than you were, the whole thing. I am being very serious here what is wrong with one night of drinking. I just still dont see the seriousness of drinking for one night, yes I like to drink,, who doesnt? Im not going to die. I want to have some friends over and watch the world series. Is that seriously that big of a problem??? No, I would rather not hear the AA mantra...please advise.. I cant and will not believe posters here have not done the same, but just have not admitted it,,, I could be wrong
It's your life and none of us can tell you what to do.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,047
I like this argument because it's a classic example of what poison does your body. When your body becomes adjusted to something that's not good nor healthy for you and you suddenly stop using it, the withdrawals are telling you "This isn't fair!" and you're lead to believe that just "one drink" will cure this withdrawal. When you have just one night of drinking, the process starts all over again and you'll be in the same position as you were - daily drinking.
When the poison finally gets out of your system, your body starts the process of healing and you start to feel better and you have a better outlook on your life and actually start to find what your true self is.
When the poison finally gets out of your system, your body starts the process of healing and you start to feel better and you have a better outlook on your life and actually start to find what your true self is.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
What's wrong with drinking? Here's your answer, in your own words.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...lp-anyone.html
Why you would want to go back to that hell is a mystery to me. Especially seeing as how you lost so much and got in so much trouble from drinking before.
None of us here can tell you what to do but if you choose to drink and then get your third/fourth DUI you have only yourself to blame. And what if you get in an accident and hurt of kill someone? You'll have plenty of time to think about it in prison.
And what if you drink too much and die from it? It's a possibility, you know.
Here's another perspective on drinking again when you've already gotten into so much trouble from drinking in the past...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ouncement.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...lp-anyone.html
Why you would want to go back to that hell is a mystery to me. Especially seeing as how you lost so much and got in so much trouble from drinking before.
None of us here can tell you what to do but if you choose to drink and then get your third/fourth DUI you have only yourself to blame. And what if you get in an accident and hurt of kill someone? You'll have plenty of time to think about it in prison.And what if you drink too much and die from it? It's a possibility, you know.
Here's another perspective on drinking again when you've already gotten into so much trouble from drinking in the past...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ouncement.html
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: cleveland, oho
Posts: 57
Ok, see if this makes sense to anyone, I have never in my life,, Im 40, drinking since 14 had any length of sobrirty,,until May 15 of this year. It gave me great time of refelction as to how I was drinking. Everyone I hung around with drank the same way.I partiedas hard or harder than the next guy,, when Im out home watching a game,, never happened,, when I hit the bars. Well thats another story> I am not saying sobriety is bad, I mjust saying one night every couple months? Cmon truthful answers here
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,908
We've given you truthful answers. We don't think you should drink, but we can't tell you what to do. You came here asking for advice and we've given it. Truthfully. We have no reason to lie to you. It doesn't affect our lives if you drink.
If you're not ready, or don't think it's necessary for you to quit drinking, then don't. If you want to try moderating your drinking, then do. I don't think a single one of us just decided one day to never drink again and then didn't have second thoughts afterward. That's the nature of the disease. You go a while without it and then start thinking that maybe you're not an alcoholic after all. So, you start making deals, setting limits, making concessions about drinking. If it works for you, great! It didn't work for us.
Again, it's your life but you did ask our opinions and advice on the matter. Don't accuse us of not being truthful just because you don't like what you hear.
If you're not ready, or don't think it's necessary for you to quit drinking, then don't. If you want to try moderating your drinking, then do. I don't think a single one of us just decided one day to never drink again and then didn't have second thoughts afterward. That's the nature of the disease. You go a while without it and then start thinking that maybe you're not an alcoholic after all. So, you start making deals, setting limits, making concessions about drinking. If it works for you, great! It didn't work for us.
Again, it's your life but you did ask our opinions and advice on the matter. Don't accuse us of not being truthful just because you don't like what you hear.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Originally Posted by newby1961
As long as I kept justifying my drinking there was no reason to quit.
I wonder how many people who don't have a problem w/alcohol come on sites like these and try and convice others its OK for them to drink?
I wonder how many people who don't have a problem w/alcohol come on sites like these and try and convice others its OK for them to drink?
i think the horror fades after a while, i try to remember it everyday.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
yeah truth...funny thing isn't it? Since you're asking...the truth is with your history you absolutely should not ever drink. With my history I absolutely should not either. The difference between you and I is that I've embraced that truth. You haven't.
It appears from your question that you really seek validation on this. That's very curious indeed, don't you think?
It appears from your question that you really seek validation on this. That's very curious indeed, don't you think?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 174
Originally Posted by ryanriley
Ok, see if this makes sense to anyone, I have never in my life,, Im 40, drinking since 14 had any length of sobrirty,,until May 15 of this year. It gave me great time of refelction as to how I was drinking. Everyone I hung around with drank the same way.I partiedas hard or harder than the next guy,, when Im out home watching a game,, never happened,, when I hit the bars. Well thats another story> I am not saying sobriety is bad, I mjust saying one night every couple months? Cmon truthful answers here
Sober...Finally.
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Galveston TX
Posts: 574
Ryan,
Im referencing myself here, but honestly, if I went back to drinking after a long stint of sobriety, I would probably feel horrible and self loathing, eventually falling into my own ways, yet again. I dont think an alcoholic can have the occasional drink without falling back into the old patterns. Thats what makes alcoholism terrible. A "normal" drink every now and then is just not comprehendable (to me, anyway). Best of luck in your decision.
Im referencing myself here, but honestly, if I went back to drinking after a long stint of sobriety, I would probably feel horrible and self loathing, eventually falling into my own ways, yet again. I dont think an alcoholic can have the occasional drink without falling back into the old patterns. Thats what makes alcoholism terrible. A "normal" drink every now and then is just not comprehendable (to me, anyway). Best of luck in your decision.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 3
new to this
I know the first step is just to admit it.....I'm an alcoholic....damn, that sounds horrible. I dont want to be this person.....I'm NOT this person.....but I cant seeem to stop, with as much as I want to......I've kept it hidden, except for my youngest child....she knows....and I grieve that she knows.....sometimes I feel like it will take so much to overcome the damage that I have dome....then....why even try? It will take years of sobriety to make up for my mistakes.....I just need one person to tell me they were forgiven....and that life is better......
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,908
I was forgiven and life is better. You cannot undo what's been done, but you can start right now, today, and make things better, both for yourself and your daughter.
Welcome to SR, zena. You will find a lot of support here. Please feel free to start a thread where you will be welcomed and heard. We're here to support you.
Welcome to SR, zena. You will find a lot of support here. Please feel free to start a thread where you will be welcomed and heard. We're here to support you.
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