Day 3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 72
Day 3
So I'm back to day 3 for like the 10th time... This time feels different though, sure I want to drink but I know I can't or I'll die.
I started drinking heavily about 3 years ago, first a few glasses of wine in the evenings, binging on the weekends, just "having fun". The habit slowly grew into a bottle of wine or more a night and then a bottle of whiskey on the weekend. I can't remember having bad hangovers, just feeling tired in the day and waiting for work to end so I could get home and get buzzed again.
Then I decided I needed to cut back or quit the end of last year. I managed to pull this off for about a week but was straight back to where I started. What changed at this point were the hangovers. I started to get the worst anxiety I can possibly describe. I would be in full panic mode the morning after. I've read on here about kindling and maybe that could explain why the hangovers became unbearable only after a few attempts to quit?
In any case I can feel my body CANNOT take the booze anymore, even a small amount sends me right back into a state of panic and anxiety. It has been 3 days now and I am still getting panic attacks. Will I ever feel normal again? Whatever normal is...
I started drinking heavily about 3 years ago, first a few glasses of wine in the evenings, binging on the weekends, just "having fun". The habit slowly grew into a bottle of wine or more a night and then a bottle of whiskey on the weekend. I can't remember having bad hangovers, just feeling tired in the day and waiting for work to end so I could get home and get buzzed again.
Then I decided I needed to cut back or quit the end of last year. I managed to pull this off for about a week but was straight back to where I started. What changed at this point were the hangovers. I started to get the worst anxiety I can possibly describe. I would be in full panic mode the morning after. I've read on here about kindling and maybe that could explain why the hangovers became unbearable only after a few attempts to quit?
In any case I can feel my body CANNOT take the booze anymore, even a small amount sends me right back into a state of panic and anxiety. It has been 3 days now and I am still getting panic attacks. Will I ever feel normal again? Whatever normal is...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((30Sober))) - yes, you will get back to feeling normal, though most of us have forgotten what "normal" IS if we've been drinking/using for a long time.
Drinking wasn't my thing, though I did abuse it when I was younger. From what I've read on several posts here, a lot of people drank to deal with the anxiety, only to find the alcohol made the anxiety worse.
Our brains take a while to realize that we're not giving it the "feel good" chemicals, then to start making them again. In most cases, it does start working again, but it takes time...especially if we've been using/drinking for a long time. Considering I abused alcohol, then opiates, then crack, it took my brain quite a while. Distracting myself when the "I NEED something to make these feelings go away", staying busy, and support from here and f2f helped a lot.
I've gone from someone who was as addicted to the lifestyle (constant drama) to someone who really doesn't want any drama. Do I still have the feelings of wanting to numb? Yep, I live in a house I call dysfunction junction. However,recalling my relapse (and it was bad) and remembering all the guilt, shame, suicidal thoughts keep me on track. That, as well as being able to come here when I'm ready to pull my hair out and getting lots of ES&H
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Drinking wasn't my thing, though I did abuse it when I was younger. From what I've read on several posts here, a lot of people drank to deal with the anxiety, only to find the alcohol made the anxiety worse.
Our brains take a while to realize that we're not giving it the "feel good" chemicals, then to start making them again. In most cases, it does start working again, but it takes time...especially if we've been using/drinking for a long time. Considering I abused alcohol, then opiates, then crack, it took my brain quite a while. Distracting myself when the "I NEED something to make these feelings go away", staying busy, and support from here and f2f helped a lot.
I've gone from someone who was as addicted to the lifestyle (constant drama) to someone who really doesn't want any drama. Do I still have the feelings of wanting to numb? Yep, I live in a house I call dysfunction junction. However,recalling my relapse (and it was bad) and remembering all the guilt, shame, suicidal thoughts keep me on track. That, as well as being able to come here when I'm ready to pull my hair out and getting lots of ES&H
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Came to Believe
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Montgomery AL
Posts: 507
Everybody's different, but for me, the anxiety is awful the first two-three days without drinking and then starts to taper off until I feel "normal", usually by the end of the first week. I've made several attempts at staying sober and I may make several more, but I'm sober today and working on staying that way. So are you -- you should feel good about that. I'm not sure why it happens, but yeah, I didn't used to get hangovers either (tired, maybe a bit of a headache) no matter how much I drank, but my mind and body lets me know it if I slip these days.
Do you have any kind of support? AA, therapy, that kind of thing? Unless you've got an anxiety disorder that the booze has been covering up, I know what you're going through and it does get better, but remember that most of us don't get better on our own. A little face-to-face help could make a big difference in your chances of staying sober this time. Something to think about at least.
--Fenris.
Do you have any kind of support? AA, therapy, that kind of thing? Unless you've got an anxiety disorder that the booze has been covering up, I know what you're going through and it does get better, but remember that most of us don't get better on our own. A little face-to-face help could make a big difference in your chances of staying sober this time. Something to think about at least.
--Fenris.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi 30sober
Welcome back to SR
I had pre-existing anxiety issues anyway, but I found the panic got demonstrably better over the course of a week or so....?
Naturally, if you're really concerned about this, or it's impacting your life to a large extent please see a Dr
D
Welcome back to SR
I had pre-existing anxiety issues anyway, but I found the panic got demonstrably better over the course of a week or so....?
Naturally, if you're really concerned about this, or it's impacting your life to a large extent please see a Dr
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Hi 30sober. I reached that point, too. I knew I'd die if I kept poisoning myself. All control was gone, and I was never 'high' - just numb and miserable. I made it out of hell, and you can too! So happy you are trying again - it can be the last time!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 72
Ok so it's day five now and I'm feeling less anxious. Actually I felt really good today until my a-hole of a manager decided to say something condescending to me in front of my colleagues. At least I didn't rush home to drink to "deal" with it. I need to find other ways to deal with these bumps in the road like a normal person. This upcoming weekend is a long one too and I just need to get through it one day at a time. Looking forward to being strong enough to actively start looking for a new job - one that doesn't involve being a doormat on daily basis.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi 30Sober -
Those "bumps in the road" will smooth out and you'll find that the longer you stay sober, the easier it will be to deal with everything. Sounds like you did great today - at day 5 I don't think I'd even gone out of the house yet!
This weekend would be a good time to something really nice for yourself. Keep going, one day at a time!
Those "bumps in the road" will smooth out and you'll find that the longer you stay sober, the easier it will be to deal with everything. Sounds like you did great today - at day 5 I don't think I'd even gone out of the house yet!
This weekend would be a good time to something really nice for yourself. Keep going, one day at a time!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 72
Thanks everyone, I've nearly made it through day 6. Today, being Friday, has naturally been a challenge. I has my AV telling me that it wouldn't be so bad to have a few because "I have been good all week". Well I am not listening to that rubbish.
Tomorrow will be day 7 - I have not reached a day 7 since I started drinking heavily 3 years ago. NOT ONCE. I am actually looking forward to that milestone. I am going to reward myself with something nice. And it won't be a drink lol
Tomorrow will be day 7 - I have not reached a day 7 since I started drinking heavily 3 years ago. NOT ONCE. I am actually looking forward to that milestone. I am going to reward myself with something nice. And it won't be a drink lol
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Vancouver BC Canada
Posts: 384
Well done for day 7! I too have day 7 here and plan to rest as my body is telling me I am tired. I will do something nice for myself this weekend and liek you , sure won't be a drink !
The AV is pretty quiet in me right now but its there........always will be too , I just don't have to listen today , this hour , this minute.
The AV is pretty quiet in me right now but its there........always will be too , I just don't have to listen today , this hour , this minute.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Present Moment
Posts: 646
Hi 30Sober,
I can relate completely to the "panic & anxiety"...absolute HELL. And yes, any amount of alcohol will take you RIGHT BACK to that state and right back to the vicous cycle of trying to chase it away with more alcohol...keep remembering how that feels..I do, and it helps to keep me sober.
You are going to feel sooooo much better. Hang in there..it's so worth it my friend.
I can relate completely to the "panic & anxiety"...absolute HELL. And yes, any amount of alcohol will take you RIGHT BACK to that state and right back to the vicous cycle of trying to chase it away with more alcohol...keep remembering how that feels..I do, and it helps to keep me sober.
You are going to feel sooooo much better. Hang in there..it's so worth it my friend.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,783
Congrats on your first week sober!! It sure does get better, but give yourself time to get back to normal. The physical w/d only takes about a week but the emotional w/d takes longer. We have to retrain our minds to think differently once we take away that emotional crutch.
Give yourself time, rest, and good food and you'll be feeling better as each day passes.
It sure does get better, but give yourself time to get back to normal. The physical w/d only takes about a week but the emotional w/d takes longer. We have to retrain our minds to think differently once we take away that emotional crutch. Give yourself time, rest, and good food and you'll be feeling better as each day passes.
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