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Is happyness missing?

Old 10-13-2011, 12:44 PM
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Is happyness missing?

Been sober a little over a month now after a good 4 year binge. Ive tried to quit before failed ect...I really want to recover to the point where I dont need another substance in my life to function. Since stopping ive felt something is missing and im wondering if that feeling is happiness?

Since I started drinking its taken all my time up and Ive become to rely on myself to do evrything alone. It feels weird doing stuff with other people or "unnatural" probably because my old way of life was the bottle.
I can go to the bars with friends sober and have more fun now than 4 months ago drinking. I dont need alcohol to have fun or enjoy things anymore but learning to enjoy friends and activities without alcohol seems like a battle in its own, But a battle worth fighting because I want to be like the old days where tv on a saturday morning excited me or sleeping in,

Im still very confused if im acting normal because it doesnt feel normal even though through observation of others it appears to be but my mind makes it feel wrong. Will this get better? If so, is it possible to to speed it up or is it just damage to my brain ive caused or a routine I need to break free of?

Just wondering if anyone went through this or is and has any suggestions?
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Old 10-13-2011, 12:50 PM
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Hard to say what's going on but your body maybe still recovering from the alcohol abuse you did to it for 4 years. Or it's just that you will need to relearn how to act without alcohol. Happiness maybe something different for you now because your older and your view of life is not the same as before.

Going to a doctor is getting a blood test will give some data on your body.
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Old 10-13-2011, 12:55 PM
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Thanks, I got an appointment next week, I also visit a school counselor on a weekly basis now after admitting to my addiction. She diagnosed me as having anxiety and possible depression, which is why I drank in the first place, to hide those feelings of sadness.

I may need to bring up the topic of depression with my doctor as that might be a crucial step in recovering, My counselor also wanted to put me on some sort of drug to deal with anxiety but I declined unless completely necessary as in shes teaching me natural ways to deal with it first.
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Old 10-13-2011, 01:38 PM
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Hi Dave

It took me a lot longer than a month to feel happy, or even normal. I'd drunk for 20 years- that was a pretty big hole I'd dig for myself.

I needed time to develop sober life skills - that doesn't happen overnight - give it a little time and effort

I also noticed you're hanging around in bars.

Each to their own, but my experience is going to bars, with the old crew, would always make me feel I was missing out on something...

Whether I realised it or not I was always kinda sad, or mad or just 'different'...I no longer felt part of the gang...inevitably it would eat away at me until I'd drink again.

I hope you'll be stronger than I was and not be tempted to drink again...but take a look at your life....you've stopped drinking...are you still living a drinkers life?

That would be a major source of dissatisfaction for me too.

Maybe its time to think of some new sober activities to make traditions of?

D
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Old 10-13-2011, 03:51 PM
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I didn't feel content or happy in my sobriety until I started to practice gratitude every day. At first it was hard to find even one thing to be grateful for, but as time went on I found more and more blessings I'd forgotten about. Now my sobriety is happy and fulfilled. And being grateful makes me want to stay sober as it shows me how much I have to lose if I drink again.

Give gratitude a try. It's helping me a lot.
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Old 10-13-2011, 05:30 PM
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Great posts, thanks

My outlook on life has spun around completely for the best. I am thankful everyday for waking up to see the sun, hear the birds and cooking breakfast with family( which was unheard of before) Some people think im "on" something because I am so happy and friendly all the time now. Before I always counted the days until it would be safe to drink again but now I just live each day as its my last or so to speak.

I think im on the right track might just be some imbalances in my head still as the above said "living a drinkers life" But I used to go to the bars hammered with the goal of getting drunk and not to socialize, Now I go as a dd, driving friends down and I stay around for a bit to talk to people I run into. I turn down drinks all the time now and am open about quitting drinking so they know I dont drink anymore( they just dont know about my addiction)

The best part so far is being in control of what I do, which in itself is rewarding thus far. Im 23 FYI and about to start a full time career, there is no need for liquor in my future.

Im glad I found this place as iv been able to change my life around thus far, I felt like this was impossible to do before and had nothing worth living for, Now im convinced alcohol truly is a poison thats keeping me back from a healthy life!

I see the importance of this community to help new comers to sobriety, glad to be part of it.
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Old 10-14-2011, 08:09 PM
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That "living a drinker's life" really struck a chord with me Dee....I have been thinking a bunch about the decisions and choices that I made for the last 15 or so years, and I have been questioning them....putting it that way is the clearest, yet harshest, way to describe the life that I have made for myself.....I think I am still in the process of mourning that life. 10 months sober, and I don't think I am through that process....Doing tons better, but still not there yet....Still wading through all of the consequences of that drinker's life..

I have begun to question my career choices, my friends, my schedule, my desires, my dreams, all of it......Those were all fueled by drink. In a way, I feel like I still haven't found my voice yet...I feel like it is there. silent, but waiting to scream out....but it is not sure what to say. It has been confused and drunk for so long....no longer able to find the words...

For me, happiness is still missing after 10 months...I have to remind myself to give myself credit for what I have done and am doing...Gratitude is also a word that I am trying to make a part of that vocabulary that can't find the words.....Patience is another one....Threads like this are definitely helpful to me....thanks.
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