choublak

Interesting. With my relatives (uncles) who are recovering alcoholics, other family members give a description (to nieces and nephews of various ages) like, "they used to drink, but they don't anymore because they can't, they can't have alcohol". My uncles don't talk about their alcoholism unless they are asked about it.

sampar

You NEVER know when this disease is going to jump up & bite u in the @ss!!!!! recovered means cured , i'll always be a recovering alkie ..................UNLESS ..........someone has found a cure .....what ..... no one told me, for me its living one day at a time!!!! I am what i am & i not one for labels

instant

Now I'm confused ............at what point whilst recovering do you transition to recovered? and how? (rule 62)

kiki5711

I've gone through TWO cancers, breast and colon. I never say Hi, I'm a cancer survivor!

Just thinking about it makes me sick and reminds me of everything I went through.

Same with alcohol. I have abused alcohol to the point where it was abusing me. Unless in AA meeting setting, I never bring it up. Just thinking about it makes my stomach turn.

CarolD

The book Alcoholics Anonymous uses the term recovered 87 times...
I have no clue how often recovering is used...

I do remember around year 10 I began to think of myself as recovered but
it has made no difference in how I continue to live or work the Steps.

Before I share in meetings....to qualify....."I'm Carol...an alcholic" is what I have been saying for 22+ years. So far....no one has objected...

Personally....labels don't bother me....they started on my birth certificate with F for female. I've always had one...
Some I have not appreciated ...some I did relish....... but so what?

ozgoddess

For me recovery equates with cure. I don't think I will ever consider myself cured from alcoholism. To think of myself as cured would mean that i am no longer an alcoholic and there (IMO) begins the vicious thinking cycle

It's a fine line, I don't think we should really worry about the semantics of "recovery" vs "recovered" but rather focus on the journey that we call life. Living the best way we can, sober.

sampar

We all have our opinions , who's right ? who's wrong ? who cares! Its how u see ure self i suppose .

DayTrader

^^^^^ That's pretty-much where I stand on the "recoverING" vs "recoverED" deal.

My first couple years, I said -ing and don't regret it.....never did relapse either. .....then again, that's more to do with me working on the maintenance of my program and the Grace of God than it was the choice of -ing or -ed, I'm sure. Ppl who said -ed irritated me....they sounded conceited to me I guess. It turned me off.

Now, I typically say "alcoholic" or "recovered alcoholic." The folks who've been around a while and say "-ing" now kinda irritate me sometimes. Funny huh? Now I'm doing what used to bug the crap out of me and what I used to do myself, that bothers me now - lol. All I can say is that I've changed - both my recovery has changed and my beliefs about -ed vs -ing have changed.

Just be honest about what you're feeling/thinking.......and don't let whatever term other ppl use be a big deal. It shouldn't really effect your sobriety one way or another.



As far as what's "right" for any of you to say, doesn't matter to me......that's for sure. Just do some soul searching, find your truth, and be honest. Don't say what you think others want to hear. Trying to please everyone and BS-ing everyone is part of the behavior that got most of us here......don't continue to practice it.

Boleo

When I was "Recovering" - I thought about drinking some of the time, I thought about not-drinking most of the time and I worried about relapse all of the time.

When I "Recovered" - I stopped thinking about drinking, not-drinking, alcohol or relapse. I "Recovered" the same attitude towards drinking as I had as a child, before I knew what the benefits/effects of drinking even were.

(rule 62.5) What I think of me is none of my business.

yeahgr8

I am a recovered alcoholic...why?

The word recovered, for me, means that i have recovered from the mental obsession for alcohol!

It is important for me to be a recovered alcoholic because that is what i was promised by my sponsor, the big book and all the other recovered alcoholics in AA. They said follow some simple suggestions and you will recover from alcoholism and that's what i did and that's what happened!

Does this mean that i am some sort of spiritual guru? No far from it but i do have guidelines in the steps of AA that help me to live a more fulfilling and joyful life.

Before in my efforts to stay sober i would have definitely described myself as a recovering alcoholic as, instead of going to my Mum's fridge and not noticing the 2 bottles of opened white wine, i would be constantly reminding myself i don't drink anymore and my sobriety would be very much dependent on externals rather than any kind of inner change.

NightsWatch

I have been thinking about this recovering and recovered alcoholic business. I don't know if I just have a mental blockage, but I don't see it in the traditional way as used by AA or whoever. I use alcohol as a way to escape uncomfortable feelings of anxiety, despair, loneliness, boredom, etc. If I wasn't using alcohol, I'd be using video games, TV, food, internet, whatever to distract myself from my own thoughts and feelings. It just so happened that alcohol was much much more effective than all those other things (and initially, more fun) to numb myself from my life. I believe that if I can find peace within myself, alcohol (and all those other distractions) wouldn't have the same hold on me.

What has been unfortunate is that I had been using alcohol as a distraction for so long that I never learned how to deal with the things that bother me. My road to recovery involves growing up as a person and finding a way to live my life without needing to anesthetize the painful feelings that drive me to drink in the first place. I would like to believe that if/when I get to that place, I would be "recovered" and no longer an alcoholic.

ETA: I have an addictive personality in general. I will have a tendency to keep doing something that is initially pleasurable (playing a video game for instance) past the point where it is no longer fun, yet I'll compulsively keep do it. "Recovery" for me then, would be to "fix" this aspect of myself. I don't want to just transfer my addiction for alcohol to an addiction for something else.

CaiHong

I am definitely a recovering alcoholic. Perhaps a matter of semantics but I did enjoy reading this thread.
CaiHong

soberlicious

The first two defintions for "recover" are: 1. To get back; regain. 2. To restore ( oneself) to a normal state.

LOL I have been around those who add the "ing". Strikes me as super funny when others speak for me and presume to know what is in my heart.


To me when one has an open mind and can let go of old beliefs that don't work for them and assimiliate new ones that do, even in spite of what others say, that is the biggest indicator of growth. It means that one does not have fear, and thus true freedom.

soberlicious

Why would that indicate a mental blockage? I rather see it as a mental opening.

north

Before I quit drinking, whenever I heard someone use the word "recovering alcoholic", it gave me a negative impression -- as if the person could suddenly 'tip' into a full-blown raging drunk at the drop of a dime.

After I quit drinking, I realized that many who used the term were as solid as a rock in their sobriety, but used it in order to emphasize the fact they did not take their sobriety for granted.

However, I believe using the term among the general public could lead to some unpleasant misunderstandings and prejudice. I don't refer to myself as a "recovering alcoholic" but for friends that do - they should realize how differently it might be perceived by the 'normie' crowd.

Kmber2010

Anna describes it best for me.

Boleo

I like the term Mental Opening myself. I like to think of "Recorvered" as meaning Liberated rather than meaning Fixed.

"I can be recovered from a gunshot wound but that does not make me bulletproof".

Mark75

This is interesting, well to me anyway, when taken in context with a recent discussion in another thread. We discussed surrender vs. detachment.

As I see it, -ed vs. -ing, seems to be a matter of posture.

I think we are entitled to assume whatever posture we need to recover... ed or ing.