Terminally Unique

This makes sense. Contrary to what some may say, it is entirely possible to quit "for someone else" or for one's family.

Terminally Unique

Keithj is correct about this one. Somehow I doubt that in the "old" days people could do "90 in 90" even if they wanted to.

Freedom1990

90 meetings in 90 days came out of rehabs. Nowhere in the big book is there even the slightest hint of that.

I have 3 meetings a week available to me and I often only make one.

It's about finding balance, especially if you are a single parent like I was too.

CaiHong

Onlythetruth,

Does this mean if you are in a marriage and you want the marriage to stay together that you would even give up drink as AVRT suggested. I could see that working for some people.

I think quite a few people would be turned off by some of the members in AA or any organization. But some of these same members would be just the ticket for others.

Mac keep up the good work.
CaiHong

onlythetruth

The point I was making was this. The sponsor here was telling the OP that 90 meetings in 90 days were absolutely necessary for her sobriety. This is suggesting that there is a high correlation between going to 90 AA meetings within a 90 day period, and getting sober.

Numerous studies have been done on the factors that are highly correlated with abstinence from alcohol, however. And what these studies show is that the factor most highly correlated with successful abstinence is being married.

So the sponsor would have been far more accurate to ask the OP her marital status, and tell her that unless she was married she didn't have much of a chance!

onlythetruth

Yep. Because it's mostly about motivation. Having something to lose, such as a marriage or family, is an excellent motivator.

Programmatic

That motivation is actually about self. One can stop for someone else but they won't stay stopped. The motivation through fear of loss is about fear of losing something YOU have not fear of the other person losing something they have.

To stay stopped requires you to be doing it for you. Doing it for someone else can work for a starting point.

onlythetruth

One thing my sponsor always used to tell me is that you never know who's going to stop for good and who isn't.

soberlicious

There is...there SO is. Don't get me wrong, if AA is a big part of someone's life, their social circle, and it works for them and makes them happy then I think that's great. But if it's not, then it's not and I'm not sure why that would make someone so angry. It appears from your posts that your sponser may have some issues of her own going on.

I agree AVRT. I got a ration of s*%t when I shared at an AA meeting that I quit for my kids and my family. "You can't do that", they said.

Really??? Watch me...

and I did just that

soberlicious

Not for me...I feared my children losing me. They already had, to a great extent, because of my inability to be fully present because I was drunk or high.

but, yes I see your point. However, the fact that I don't drink for myself and my children is so intertwined for me that the whole "it's really ultimately for me even though it started for them" argument is like splitting teeny hairs...it's moot.

I apologize for my annoying habit of double posting LOL