lost and hopeful
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi, mardy.
I know just how you feel. Swearing it off in the morning, only to make a bee-line for the fridge when I walked in the door at 6. Toward the end, I didn't even really enjoy it anymore; I just felt weak and kind of hopeless, and kept drinking to fill the hole. But here's the good news: my mood and my self-esteem began to gradually improve after I quit drinking. Less than nine months later, I feel much better about myself in every way, especially as a parent. Welcome to SR.
I know just how you feel. Swearing it off in the morning, only to make a bee-line for the fridge when I walked in the door at 6. Toward the end, I didn't even really enjoy it anymore; I just felt weak and kind of hopeless, and kept drinking to fill the hole. But here's the good news: my mood and my self-esteem began to gradually improve after I quit drinking. Less than nine months later, I feel much better about myself in every way, especially as a parent. Welcome to SR.
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Welcome mardy. SR is a great place for support. I have also been seeing a therapist and that has helped me out a lot too. AA is great, but I understand it's not for everyone.
Best wishes in your journey!
Best wishes in your journey!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Welcome Mardy. I understand how you feel. I have 4 kids and spent most of their lives drinking thinking I was the one that kept everything together. School functions, sports, lessons, homework, getting laundry done, making supper, packing lunches the list is endless...but looking back now, I think everything would have been different if I didn't hit the bottle everyday. Sure, it started gradually...then I needed it for strength and my crutch. It helped me thru the day(s), through my first marriage, thru life.
It took control over my whole being. It twisted my mind and wreaked havoc in my life.
My second marriage ended (in separation) this time last year. It has been a long year of newly discovering my self, my mind and my soul. I moved and am renting a house, I started a new job but lost it because I continued to drink. That is when I completely quit. I was out of control. I coudn't fail. I swallowed my pride...I headed to rehab and went to AA. My town is only about 1000 people so yeah, the group is small but that's no excuse not to go. They are my friends and we have one thing in common. I don't really 'associate' with them outside of the group but I know they are there if I need them.
I got a new job in April...recent promotion/raise this month. I have changed my thoughts about what I need to do and where I need to be. I know longer worry about what people think. I do what's best for me. Life is SO much better now that I quit. Where I thought I was in control in my life I was mistaken...and NOW I am.
You will see that things will turn for the better when you start recovery.
But I also wonder why you started drinking in the past 3 years of your new marriage. Maybe marriage counseling would be beneficail as well. In any case, I hope you stay and post...glad you're here. Wishing you peace and strength.
It took control over my whole being. It twisted my mind and wreaked havoc in my life.
My second marriage ended (in separation) this time last year. It has been a long year of newly discovering my self, my mind and my soul. I moved and am renting a house, I started a new job but lost it because I continued to drink. That is when I completely quit. I was out of control. I coudn't fail. I swallowed my pride...I headed to rehab and went to AA. My town is only about 1000 people so yeah, the group is small but that's no excuse not to go. They are my friends and we have one thing in common. I don't really 'associate' with them outside of the group but I know they are there if I need them.
I got a new job in April...recent promotion/raise this month. I have changed my thoughts about what I need to do and where I need to be. I know longer worry about what people think. I do what's best for me. Life is SO much better now that I quit. Where I thought I was in control in my life I was mistaken...and NOW I am.
You will see that things will turn for the better when you start recovery.
But I also wonder why you started drinking in the past 3 years of your new marriage. Maybe marriage counseling would be beneficail as well. In any case, I hope you stay and post...glad you're here. Wishing you peace and strength.
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