NewMan2Day

Hey Everyone,
Want to first start out by saying, I think this forum is a great idea, and I am truly glad to be here and be a part of it now also.

So about me, I am 26 years old, have a degree in business administration, Own 10% of a business worth over 7 million dollars, have a beautiful wife, a 1 month little girl who I love more than anything in the world, and somehow I managed to get addicted to roxys. I started out taking a quarter of a 15mg about 2 years ago, and like many others, began taking more and more as time went on. I now have a serious addiction, and must have these damn things or else I feel like heck.

My wife found out I was taking these about 2 months ago, and since I have tried to quit a few times with the longest time being about 8 days. We all know how it is when you say, "Oh man I will just do them this one time", next thing you know your right back where you started. We just had a baby and it makes me sick to think that I am stealing money from my wife and child to support my addiction. I keep getting busted by the wife because she knows the signs to look for now.

I would I have gotten pretty bad, it is to the point where I will take between 6-12 30mg a day. Also, I do not have a prescription so the cost of these is literally making me go broke. I haven't lost everything yet, but it seems like I am very close. I am ready to make the change and get my life back, and would really appreciate any help the member here could give me.

Tomorrow I am going to quit, I think I have come up with some pretty good ideas that will help me through my journey through hell.

1) I got a brand new phone number and will not be giving it to anyone unless there is some reason the absolutely need it.

2) I have taken away my own debit card/credit cards, and made my wife start a separate account to hide my money that comes in through my direct deposit.

3) I just paid $50 dollars for a tracking software that goes on my cell phone so my wife can see where I am and where I have been all day so she will know if I am going back to my old ways. This should keep me from getting off the beaten path.

4) I have made a list of all the reasons I shouldn't even think about touching these devil pills again, and I will look at it anytime I even have the slightest urge to touch these.

Also, I have 1 Methadone I will be using tomorrow for my first day. I will take half in the morning and half in the evening. The second day I will start taking subs, which I can get more if needed. What I plan on doing is taking 1/2 and 1/2 for the first day on subs, and take 5 days to totally get off everything including the subs. I quit once, and I actually had some serious symptoms from the subs I had been taking for only about 8 days. I also have 5 Xanax bars to sleep at night, but I only take a quarter or half at night to help me sleep.
I know its not a good idea to mix the Dones or Subs with Xanax, but I will need to get some rest and this is the only trick that works well for me. I always make sure I space the 2 medicines out at least 4-5 hours before I take my Xanax at night. I also don't take, and wont take enough of either to really cause an issue.

I do not want to trade one bad habit for another, which is why I have setup a plan that I will be using and hopefully makes things a lot easier. I am just really excited to be able to talk to other people like me going through the same thing, or people that have already been through it. I cannot thank you guys enough for allowing me to become part of the community. Please just keep in touch with me and give me any advice you guys may think would help me kick this habit once and for all. My ears are all yours, and I will be keeping in touch I would say at least 3-5 times daily. Please help me out guys, I am really looking for this to be my helping hand. I know some people prefer NA and things like that, but I would prefer to use this as my helping hand.

Thanks so much in advance,
-Matt-

PS- I will be working 6:30am-5pm each day till Saturday and Sunday, I know its tough to do or even stupid, but I think it actually help me keep my mind off the situation. Also, If i really need time off work, I can do what I need to do.

eJoshua

Hey there - Welcome to SR.

I want to applaud you for planning ahead -- you have really put some good thought into the best way to keep yourself accountable and help to keep yourself clean.

Do you have any plans for support, such as NA or AA?

Best of luck tomorrow! I'm sure you'll do great.

eJoshua

Oh, my bad, I just saw that you are mainly looking here for support.

Don't be afraid to try out a meeting just to see if you like it.

we'll be here either way.

Dee74

Welcome to SR NewMan

You'll certainly find a lot of support here

You may also find our substance abuse forum interesting reading:
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

D

recoverywfaith

to SR....good recovery action plan.