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07-30-2011, 12:07 AM

# 1 (permalink)

SoberHubby1969

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Join Date: Jul 2011

Location: San Francisco Bay Area

Posts: 2

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Hello everyone. I Googled tonight, "dealing with an alcoholic wife" and found several articles and this website. I have been trying to deal with my wife's drinking problem. At first I would just buy her booze and let her get plastered. She would usually pass out by 5:00 p.m. I would take care of my daughter and tell her, "Mommy is tired and going to go to sleep." She and I would play games and draw and watch TV until eventually my wife passed out. I have found her passed out on the floor and outside listening to music. I would wake her up and get her to go get in bed. After reading a couple articles, I found that getting her to bed is enabling her behavior and they say to just leave her be as long as it is not life threatening, like passed out in the snow. I work night shift and it is hard, since when I go to work she is sober but then I get a phone call and she is slurring her words and obviously wasted. The thing I worry about most is that she has to take care of my little daughter. We do not really have any friends and we have no family to help out. Now she has taken to going out drunk with her brother and I just dread getting a phone call that she has been arrested. My wife gets really wasted and she is a very loud and belligerent drunk. She likes to fight with me when she is drunk and I have read in those articles that the best thing I can do is just walk away. I have known that but how do you just walk away when the drunk seeks you out to fight with you and threaten to divorce you and take your kid. I want her to get help and am worried for her health and for my daughter. I have tried taking a reasoned approach when she is sober and presenting these concerns and I guess she just lies and tells me what I want to hear. I have also fallen into the pitfall of getting angry when she drinks and gets drunk. I have tried to just ignore it and let her do her thing but it still really upsets me and just pisses me off. So far there have been no DUIs and she has not gone driving when she has been drinking but I am noticing that she is making store runs to get alcohol when she has been drinking. She did get arrested one time last year for being drunk in public and ripped me a new one for "not getting her out of jail" when she got released the following morning. I tried to explain to her that they would not release her to me while she was still drunk but she thinks I did it to "punish" her and make a point. She does not want to see the truth and that when you are being an angry drunk and antagonizing the **** outta the cops they ain't gonna let you go. Anyway I'm here and praying for help. Going to Al-anon for me is out of the question at this point. Maybe when my kid goes back to school I can go during the day but for now it is not an option.

07-30-2011, 12:22 AM

# 2 (permalink)

instant

Join Date: May 2011

Location: Australia

Posts: 5,711

Welcome sober hubby. I wish you and your family peace. I can be of little assistance and advice as I was the cause of the problems in my family. I think there is a section for families and friends on the board where you can get advice.