golfit2011

Hi all,

I've been lurking around the site and reading your posts for the past week.

Well, to the point, I know I have a problem. A problem that needs to be resolved soon or I may never get back to being normal again and probably ending up dead.

I can't remember well anymore but I drank EVERY NIGHT without fail, I think, for about 5 years.

I'm about 40 years old, and some of you might laugh at this, but I drink light beer (Bud Light) - I figure I'd probably drink the same number of cans if I drank beer with higher alcohol content. I drink 6-7 cans on average per night.

I used to turn bright red and blotchy after 1 beer when I was younger (am one of those Asians without the supposed liver enzymes to break down alcohol). That stopped happening after I started drinking constantly about 5 years ago.

I've lost a fiancee because of drinking, don't go out after 6pm unless drinks are involved, probably f'ed up my career, and have been distant with friends and family.

I've had pain in my right side for about 3 years which my doctor dismisses (maybe because I never admitted to him that I drank much) and had an ultrasound which came up normal about a year ago. I lost about 12 pounds in weight over the past year.

Now my eyes are turning a bit yellow. They turn more yellow and bloodshot after about 4pm at work. it's come to the point where I'm avoiding eye contact. I don't drink during the day, yet. Is that a symptom of withdrawal? And I start to feel hot and sweaty around the same time. Have no energy during the day.

Sorry for the gross-ness but I had fatty stools until about 2 years ago and it stopped. Is it a symptom of something having shut down? I've tried to self-diagnose on google.. is it the pancreas?

And it's come to the point where I am rotating between 4 grocery stores to buy beer and getting delivery of beer from a delivery service, for the fear of the clerks knowing me as an alcoholic. pretty humiliating..

I am considering trying cold-turkey'ing one of these days. Except I'm too chicken to go through what that would feel like after reading about DT's, not being able to sleep and the anxiety at work. Or maybe that I just really don't want to go through with it knowing I'll want my drinks!

Any and all kinds of advice is appreciated! Thank you all and good luck to you.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

You need to talk to your dr about your medical concerns and hopefully be honest about your drinking.

Stopping drinking cold-turkey can be dangerous, so please talk to your dr about that too.

golfit2011

Thanks Anna.

Impurrfect

(((daduck))) - welcome to SR! There are a lot of people here who are or have been in similar situations.

First of all, I highly recommend you see a dr. and be honest with him about how much you drink. Abrupt alcohol withdrawal can cause seizures and death. Not something you want to mess around with.

The eyes turning yellow is worrisome, to be honest. Your dr. will probably run liver tests on you to see if any damage has been done. Some people can drink a lot more, have very little effect on the liver, others aren't so lucky.

I don't want to sound all doom and gloom. This is a place full of people who have found recovery, and it's possible for you, too. You aren't alone.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

golfit2011

Thank you Anna. When I have some time off from work, I would like to try quitting. Reading the posts here, a 6 pack a day habit shouldn't cause a bad reaction I would think?

MycoolFitz

Welcome, I echo what was said above. Being a smart alcoholic I lied to my doctor and my therapist and kept drinking long after the sane little bit of me left knew I had to stop but I was afraid and kind of didn't want to quit until later when somehow I wouldn't be afraid and would want to quit. Somehow that plan didn't work and I just grew sicker and more miserable. I finally bit the bullet and was surprised to find that sobriety and recovery, while sometimes difficult and challenging didn't compare to the misery and destruction my self-inflicted drinking did over the years. I hope you seek out and follow the right professional help and you will post us on your progress.

Anna

No one can make that prediction, which is why you should talk to your dr.

golfit2011

Thank you MycoolFitz for your support! Yes, I have an appointment with the doc in a few weeks and I think I'll be honest with him finally.

golfit2011

Just getting this off my chest, I feel better already. My friends and family know that I drink a lot, from whatever get-together I make it to, but they don't know the extent of how long I've been in this way. Telling people, on this site, helps a lot.
Is there anyone who lives in NYC? I guess we can't go for a drink to meet. what to do then..

golfit2011

Thank you Impurrfect also.

I haven't gone one day in years without drinking and for me right now, going one day without a drink will feel like a small (actually a big) victory.

But I guess I'm either too chicken to experience what that might feel like, or how anxious I will be in some social situation, or it's just a big excuse.

What could I expect the next day in your opinion? - i drank about a 6-pack nightly. I won't hold you to it! Just wanted to hear what you thought. Thanks.

smacked

You need to talk to your doctor.

Your body may already be damaged by alcohol.

Withdrawal can be deadly, untreated alcoholism always is.

I hope you get some help when you decide you've had enough.

sugarbear1

Search "aa nyc" and ask where a meeting is. Go with an open mind. You aren't alone.

sugarbear1

Lite beer may have less calories, but the Same alcohol content.

Terminally Unique

Yellow eyes could very well be a sign of jaundice, which would mean that your liver is failing. Speak to your doctor, and tell him the truth. You need to detox, possibly under medical supervision if you are physically dependent and have been so for a while. I advise doing this as soon as possible, because once your liver goes, and it often fails rather abruptly, it's gone. I have seen jaundice first hand - it is not pretty, and liver failure is not a very nice way to die.

oggie

Please see your doctor right away. Some of your symptoms sounds very serious. Then, if you can ask your doctor for some help. He should be able to direct you to a variety of places and councelors. Take that first step. Be strong for yourself. You deserve more than what you have. oggie

Dee74

Hi daduck

I'll back up Anna - none of us are Drs - and none of us here should be diagnosing you.

It's also impossible for anyone to predict someone else's withdrawal...you may have only been drinking a 6 pack of light beer, but peoples bodies react differently, & things like diet, clinical history and even the length of time you've been daily drinking can be a factor.

I think it's important you see a Dr & ask them these questions - get those symptoms checked out ASAP.

Let us know how you get on

D

golfit2011

Yes. You are right. Thank you all for your advice. Really appreciate it.

ajangel

I would call your doctor and tell him you need to get in to see him before 2 weeks. Tell him about the yellowing of the eyes as well. Don't wait.

laurie6781

With the symptoms you have described, I would suggest moving up that Dr's appt to AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

Also, like has been said above please DO NOT TRY COLD TURKEY.

Detoxing has been known to kill. Go read my story in the Recovery Storys and you will see what I mean.

You have found a great site, with lots of Experience, Strength and Hope (ES&H) on what each one of us has had to do and still do to maintain our recovery.

Read the 'sticky's at the top of the Alcoholism Forum and the Alcoholism 12 Step Forum. Read as many of the threads as you can. They are quite an 'eye opener.'

Please see your Dr ASAP, I cannot repeat that often enough.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care very much. You can ask questions (as long as not medical, lol) rant, rave, scream, cry and yes even laugh.

Love and hugs,

ajangel

I agree. ASAP