instant

Tony you are a smart guy, but alcohol is beating you hands down. You will never win over alcohol. Once you accept that and stop scheming to make it work things can change.

i learnt only in retrospect that the way that i "feel" and the way i saw things was totally corrupted by alcohol. It took at least six months before that changed. I now define fun differently, i now I feel differently.

At the same time I am now more accepting but more effective. Sobriety does work, and life is better.