40creek

Is a really foul, short temper normal in quitting drinking. I assume it is. How long does it take to normal out again. I am snapping at just everything and even though I tell myself to not do it and that it is me and not my wife 2 hrs latter I just blew my top again. How long my friends?

P.S. I never had a temper as a drunk. Even my wife admits to that.

LexieCat

Most of us drank as a way to cope with life. Our main coping mechanism has been taken away.

So, yeah, it's pretty normal. How long it takes to get past it depends in large part on what you are doing to find other ways to cope with life.

AA's 12 Steps are designed to do that. It's a simple set of instructions, and works amazingly well. You don't change overnight, but to the extent you follow directions you can be well on your way pretty quickly.

AA doesn't have the ONLY way to do that, but most alcoholics who learn to live life happily and successfully sober do something along the lines of what the 12 Steps accomplish.

Soberpotamus

I've heard anger is rooted in fear. But, aside from all the heavy stuff... I'm sure your brain cells right now are screaming for alchy... they've been used to bathing in it and functioning pretty well with it... so they aren't happy right now

c49

Really cant give a time line since it varies from person to person and detox to detox...

I'd say things begin to get back in order at about a week sober and get better from there... month, 60 and 90 days. Remember that bad days happen to perfectly sober people too!!

Dee74

I think most of us have to deal with that- it takes a while for most of us to find our sober 'level'.

I tried my best to think of things I should be grateful for - my drinking nearly killed me, so it wasn't that hard really

Hope you'll find an equillibrium soon 40

D

40creek

I just want to thank ylu all for your support. I have been tempted today several---no all day to give up but I so want to get rid of this demon. Unlike most of you probably my wife never said a word about my drinking. It is me who found i could not live with it anymore. I am the one who wants to quit and I don't want to fail this time. It is just so hard. If i was rich I wou8ld go to one of those detox vacation resorts that the stars do. I swear, "if" I get through this, I will never look bakc. I will never be tempted to give it another try. Amen

40creek

I'm having hard time. So hard. I am analizing myself and crying and just having a hard time. My wife is not supporting me at all. I think she just wishes i would have a beer. She is mowing the lawn in anger right now and I didn;t even gwet angry at her. I kept comenting on her choice of supper. She took ribs out for supper tommorow. They where in the sink thawing. I yelled at her that it was a great choice. she said what. I said I love yer choice for supper, What, I said ribs are an awsome chioce thanks. "What.". I said, "I'm the deaf one and I can hear you just fine, how come you can't hear me? She said, "I guess I must be going deaf too". I came into living room and she said,"now what did you say?" I said nothing, it wasn't important. In a big huff she got up and said she's going to mow the lawn. That was an hour ago. She's still out mowing. I'm afraid I may give up this idea of quitting. Seriously. As weird as this sounds, my family does not support this and I cannt do it alone.
I'm posting this and then going down town. I won't post again.
I am so sorry for those of you who supported me on this. Thank You and God Bless. .................MIKE

40creek

P.S. If you go on Weatherby Nation, Christian Forums, Bennelli, or Truckers Forum, I have always been 40creek. 40creek is my favorite wiskey. Made in Alberta. I find it very ironic that I used that user name here LOL. I tried to change it this morning but could not figure out how. I guess now it doesn't matter.

Dee74

it's not easy Mike...but I found quitting a lot easier than my drinking life.

Get yourself some support - go to a meeting (pick the recovery group of your choice), see a counsellor - do whatever you have to to make this stick.

We all battled the feeling that quitting was too hard - it's your mind, and your addiction, working against you.

you can do this - if you give up now, you know you'll be back at the needing to give up point again eventually anyway.

PS if you want to change your name shoot me a PM with yr preferred new name and I'll pass it on to admin

D

Soberpotamus

Hi Mike... I know you may be gone. But maybe you'll check back here later... Maybe ask yourself why you want to give up drinking? Name the exact reason(s) why. You really need to know those reasons before you can quit, I think. And deep down... I bet you know it has everything to do with saving yourself and your life... even if that means those closest to you may not quite understand or "get it" yet...

40creek

I hvnt gone yet. I'm just sitting here crying. My wife is banging dishes around in the kitchen now. I was going to get some beer but I never left. now i am still trying to decide what to do. We don't have a suport group in town. Grand Prairie is 1 and half hrs from here. According to your group finder that is the closest. I have never felt so open and insecure as now. I usually have my **** together (except for the boooze). My wife has today become my worst enemy. I know I was short with her but she has no patience with me and it is now apparent that she has been deliberatly antagonizing me. I thought it was just me. She is a non drinker. You'd think she'd whant me to quit. She acts like I just decided to take up gambling or something.

sobermax

Hey 40creek, sorry to hear you're suffering in this way. Hope you keep posting.

Dee74

See if there's any more meetings on this list Mike?
http://www.area78.org/

D

Soberpotamus

Good for not going to get the beer... just hang in there, some people take it hour by hour. It would be good for you to go to a meeting, especially since she's not being supportive. I know that must be so hard...

Hang in there, try to resist the beer. It'll just be a set back for you. Let us know what's going on... it's ok to be open and "insecure"... at least you're being honest and trying to beat this! WTG!!!

Supercrew

Hi Mike, I was there in my early sobriety, and I still get in a tiff with the wife now and then. Usually it can be something as simple as her not hearing me from the other room or vice versa. When these feelings occur you need to realize they are just feelings, not excuses to drink. You have the power to change those feelings, even if your wife is in a pissy mood.

Find something to make you smile. Go to youtube and find your favorite comedian, or rent your favorite comedy movie and start laughing and get out of your funk.

If a little spat over what your having for dinner tomorrow is getting to you, you need to realize it is just a silly excuse your brain is making for you to get drunk. Nothing more, nothing less. If you don't drink tonight, and you go to bed sober I will guarantee you will laugh about the trick your brain is playing on you tomorrow, and how something so trivial as banging some pots and pans and worrying about tomorrow nights dinner almost drove you to break down and drink.

Is drinking really going to help you feel better, or will it be something you regret tomorrow?

I hope you check your feelings and remember that you are ultimately in control of your emotions if you want to be.

michelle01

I think it helps to be able to talk with others who understand what we are going through. Or in my case I have professional counselors I am able to talk about things with or get it off my chest, they are able to be objective and give me a proper view, close friends and family are typically too close to it all and too emotionally invested, it all just escalates further. It's not really healthy I don't think to just rely on close family support, can be a recipe for trouble, and it's not their fault a lot of the time that they don't 'get it', they often need some support too.

All the best and I know it's tough right now but if you stick with a plan for recovery it does get better. Numbing isn't the answer, will just lead to further consequences to deal with.

ETA

Hi Mike,

Sorry about your night. Sounds pretty crappy.

I was wondering if you have told your wife directly that you need her support? I think sometimes we all assume that our partners should know what we're going through but sometimes we still have to ask for things. I would think if you sat her down for a heart to heart and explain to her what you're feeling and what you need it might be helpful.

I think not drinking is the right thing to do - I like what Supercrew was saying about feelings not being excuses to drink and to try to do something that will make you feel better other than drinking....

Tonight was my hardest night yet but I'm home now and glad I didn't drink.

40creek

Thank You

SASA

well as a woman I can tell you, sometimes I really would like to get a compliment on how good the food I cook is, some recognition. I always forget that men want to hear the same and feel needed. I always take their help for granted.
And if my man is changing something, I want to be involved and I always fear he will change me too, so maybe just tell her how much you still love to be with her and that nothing you do will change that. Just some reassurance for her will get her to support you

hapsman92

Anger seems to be a withdrawal effect of psychological addiction ("fiending"). Stay strong man. Maybe try to explain your situation to your wife as calmly and as articulate as you can? And always remember...it will get better.