Is it OK for me to be here?
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
hbsmummy...Welcome.....
Something for you to consider as you think about your future....I've yet to meet an adult who told me how proud and pleased they were that their parents drank.
About feeling guilty over my past drinking...no I do not
Shame and guilt were part of the still drinking me...have no place in my recovery.
The 12 Steps of AA took care of that old thinking and I moved forward with joy.
Glad you are here....please do keep posting..all my best to the 3 of you...
.
Something for you to consider as you think about your future....I've yet to meet an adult who told me how proud and pleased they were that their parents drank.
About feeling guilty over my past drinking...no I do not
Shame and guilt were part of the still drinking me...have no place in my recovery.
The 12 Steps of AA took care of that old thinking and I moved forward with joy.
Glad you are here....please do keep posting..all my best to the 3 of you...
.
Last edited by CarolD; 07-09-2011 at 01:41 PM.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Education versus learning/knowledge
Originally Posted by Zebra1275 
Actually, I find myself in disagreement with this, and profoundly so.
For me and most of my educated friends it seems, the more education you get, the more you realize HOW MUCH YOU DO NOT KNOW. So, it is just the opposite of what you think occurs that actually does occur in this regard.
I can agree with the statement that well educated people, who possess a degree of humility, understand how much they don't know.
Glen Frey put it succinctly in an Eagles song, "the more I know, the less I understand, all the things I thought I knew before, I have to learn again."
Actually, a more significant variable than education may be humility.
For me and most of my educated friends it seems, the more education you get, the more you realize HOW MUCH YOU DO NOT KNOW. So, it is just the opposite of what you think occurs that actually does occur in this regard.
I can agree with the statement that well educated people, who possess a degree of humility, understand how much they don't know.
Glen Frey put it succinctly in an Eagles song, "the more I know, the less I understand, all the things I thought I knew before, I have to learn again."
Actually, a more significant variable than education may be humility.
If you get around enough so-called "educated" people, you begin to see there are vast differences between a "learned" person and one with just a lot of paper to "prove it". Some of the most "learned" people who ever existed on this planet have been the those with the least formal education.
You can "educate" the hell out of somebody without their ever coming "knowledgeable". You can study all your life without become wise.
These are philosophical arguments you could spend the rest of time discussing.
I think that humility plays a huge role in a person's acceptance of knowledge, but you really need to be careful about where your "education" comes from to create that knowledge.
I tend to favor science over philosophy, and I do realize there are some will argue there is no difference. Maybe I should say, I favor math and physics and scientific analyses over philosophical argument.
Believe me, I know some real "edumacated" wise-azzes.
FT
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Welcome to SR hbsmummy 
Great to see another Aussie here
Like others have said, if you think you need to be here, then you should be
Lots of us tried the control thing - I know I did...
I wish you luck with that but the paradox for me was that I have no control over my drinking which is what got me looking for control in the first place....
Personally I'm much happier being a non drinker
D
Great to see another Aussie here
Like others have said, if you think you need to be here, then you should be
Lots of us tried the control thing - I know I did...
I wish you luck with that but the paradox for me was that I have no control over my drinking which is what got me looking for control in the first place....
Personally I'm much happier being a non drinker
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: QLD, Australia
Posts: 16
Thank you again. Actually, I am not a child of an alcoholic, grandchild, niece etc. Nobody in my family has ever been a drinker. They are all quite religious and practise total abstinence. My brother and I are the black sheep. He isn't much of a drinker but he smokes like a chimney!
I appreciate the different points on education. Havng an education does NOT mean someone is 'smarter' or 'better' - absolutely not. But, for ME, I feel I have become a little wiser through learning, and feel I should be able to practise better control.
Anyway, it is nice to meet you all. And the past 3 mornings have been fabulous waking up with a very unfoggy head!
I appreciate the different points on education. Havng an education does NOT mean someone is 'smarter' or 'better' - absolutely not. But, for ME, I feel I have become a little wiser through learning, and feel I should be able to practise better control.
Anyway, it is nice to meet you all. And the past 3 mornings have been fabulous waking up with a very unfoggy head!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Drinking when we know the consequences and dangers, defies reason. It took me decades to get that! I thought I could summon up all my intelligence and willpower to moderate and control what I drank and when. I couldn't get in trouble if I just had a glass of wine or two, now could I? The only problem was, once that nice civilized glass of wine got in my system, all bets were off. It might be ok one time, but another time total chaos could ensue. That's why in the end I had to leave it alone all together.
It sounds so simple to me now - but it almost cost me my life to finally realize alcohol is poison to me, and dangerous. I never knew where it would take me. I too am the only member of my family who can't be a social drinker, so that added to my confusion.
Glad you are here, hbs - hope you will stay with us awhile and get a few things sorted out.
It sounds so simple to me now - but it almost cost me my life to finally realize alcohol is poison to me, and dangerous. I never knew where it would take me. I too am the only member of my family who can't be a social drinker, so that added to my confusion.
Glad you are here, hbs - hope you will stay with us awhile and get a few things sorted out.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Land down under
Posts: 433
Hi HBS
Hello from yet another aussie
Lots of good advice here, but I will stress that generally people that do not have a problem with alcohol do not feel the need to "control" it. They can happily have one or two and stop, not giving it another thought.
Like you, i was able to stop completely during both of my pregnancies but it always returned with a vengeance, coz i would tell myself i "deserved" to get smashed after being so "good" for so long.... *sigh*
Personally, I am so relieved to be free of the anxiety of thinking i need to control my drinking. For me it has been a blessing to live a completely sober life and come to the acceptance that I simply cannot drink and do not want to be controlled by it.
Time will tell, it is progressive and will only get worse if there is a problem. Welcome to the boards and keep reading. There is a lot of great advice here and support.
Hello from yet another aussie
Lots of good advice here, but I will stress that generally people that do not have a problem with alcohol do not feel the need to "control" it. They can happily have one or two and stop, not giving it another thought.
Like you, i was able to stop completely during both of my pregnancies but it always returned with a vengeance, coz i would tell myself i "deserved" to get smashed after being so "good" for so long.... *sigh*
Personally, I am so relieved to be free of the anxiety of thinking i need to control my drinking. For me it has been a blessing to live a completely sober life and come to the acceptance that I simply cannot drink and do not want to be controlled by it.
Time will tell, it is progressive and will only get worse if there is a problem. Welcome to the boards and keep reading. There is a lot of great advice here and support.
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