What was "the difference" that made the difference?
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What was "the difference" that made the difference?
This question is for those who have been successful in their recoveries. What was different about you the time you quit for good? What did you do differently or think differently that made all the difference?
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
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For me, getting my depression diagnosed and treated made all the difference. Until that happened, I really didn't care enough to be motivated. It's ironic, because my drinking began to self-medicate my depression, but ended up making it so much worse and adding the problem of addiction on top of it. I needed to care that I was ruining my health and destroying my family, and when I did, I was definitely motivated to stop drinking.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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Originally Posted by 30Sober 
This question is for those who have been successful in their recoveries. What was different about you the time you quit for good? What did you do differently or think differently that made all the difference?
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
I got to the point, where I wanted to be sober, more than I wanted to drink. From there, I made changes in my lifestyle and addressed issues that I tried to drink away. Support was very important!
Best Wishes To You!
Best Wishes To You!
Programmaddict
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: God's Hands
Posts: 217
For me it was a completely honest admission to myself that I simply would never be able to control AND enjoy my drinking.
Many, many things fell into place prior to that so once I finally accepted that last part it got very simple very fast.
In fact, the last time I drank I had not been drinking (not the same as sobriety) for 27 days. I was working a 12 step program and realizing a number of great benefits. My program wasn't in the spirit of sobriety so much as spiritual development. I had not yet accepted myself as alcoholic. I was in Al-Anon (I still am).
I had a premeditated drinking session involving beer I had crafted myself with a group of friends on Memorial Day. I was sure that I would both control AND enjoy my drinking. I did end up controlling it but not as much as I would have liked but I most certainly could not enjoy it because I was controlling it. In my struggle I searched for my higher power with whom I had developed a working relationship.
The best description I can give you was that the alcohol produced an effect that was like stuffing insulation in the conduit established between me and my higher power. I found this effect extremely disconcerting, unnerving and even frightening. The effect lingered for a couple days after that last drink.
THAT settled it for me. A) I accepted myself as alcoholic and B) I wanted never again to do something I knew would insulate myself from my higher power.
So, my last drink was no "bottom" in the traditional sense but it absolutely scared me straight thanks to the recovery that was already underway.
Many, many things fell into place prior to that so once I finally accepted that last part it got very simple very fast.
In fact, the last time I drank I had not been drinking (not the same as sobriety) for 27 days. I was working a 12 step program and realizing a number of great benefits. My program wasn't in the spirit of sobriety so much as spiritual development. I had not yet accepted myself as alcoholic. I was in Al-Anon (I still am).
I had a premeditated drinking session involving beer I had crafted myself with a group of friends on Memorial Day. I was sure that I would both control AND enjoy my drinking. I did end up controlling it but not as much as I would have liked but I most certainly could not enjoy it because I was controlling it. In my struggle I searched for my higher power with whom I had developed a working relationship.
The best description I can give you was that the alcohol produced an effect that was like stuffing insulation in the conduit established between me and my higher power. I found this effect extremely disconcerting, unnerving and even frightening. The effect lingered for a couple days after that last drink.
THAT settled it for me. A) I accepted myself as alcoholic and B) I wanted never again to do something I knew would insulate myself from my higher power.
So, my last drink was no "bottom" in the traditional sense but it absolutely scared me straight thanks to the recovery that was already underway.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Coffs Nsw
Posts: 80
I had 11yrs up untill mid last year.. back at that time the threat of losing my children to the state and leaving them orphans got me to rehab, AA and on the track... being honest with myself first and foremost[daily], then other kept me there gave me 11yrs of relative peace with all of it..
I believe my own complacency brought me back to my knees...
I believe my own complacency brought me back to my knees...
Came to Believe
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Montgomery AL
Posts: 507
I'd made plenty of half-ass attempts to quit before, but the one time I seriously tried and found out that I couldn't, I checked myself into a treatment center. Six weeks of that and I've been in AA going to meeting daily since. I'd like to say it's working out perfectly, but I jumped off the wagon for a few days two weeks ago. Back on track now.
--Fenris.
--Fenris.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Brighton, UK
Posts: 19
The problem I have with the AA, is that the 12 Steps is based on Christian religion, and I am an Atheist, So as practising members, how religious are the groups? I know that there are a lot in my local area.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
Day 70 sober for me. And it is different this time. For me, I am combining three things: daily AA meetings, weekly therapy with an addiction specialist who understands and supports the 12 step programme and thirdly, becoming actively involved with a lively and supportive church. On that basis, I can deal with a lot of things that were frightening me and connected with my drinking. Having said that, I would not recommend waiting until you know the reasons why you drink before you stop. You may never find them and you are much less likely to find them if you ponder them while actually drinking.
Still, it's great to have reached this stage in my recovery. I am so grateful.
Still, it's great to have reached this stage in my recovery. I am so grateful.
Came to Believe
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Montgomery AL
Posts: 507
I don't speak for AA, but as I understand it, AA isn't religious at all. It's spiritual, in the sense that an AA member acknowledges a power greater than him/herself (a "Higher Power") -- and that Higher Power can be anything that you're comfortable with: God, Allah, Papa Smurf or the AA group itself. God as I understand him. It has no ties to any Christian organization, denomination or sect. The word "God" is used in AA literature, but "Higher Power" or any other word works. Atheists, agnostics (like me), Christians...anyone with a desire to stop drinking is welcome at an AA meeting. There's plenty of information out there about this. Send me a private message if you want more information and I'll help you find it.
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
I simply became desperate enough to be willing to do the things that I didn't believe would work. For me, as a staunch atheist, that was the 12 Steps of AA. I only got willing to work those Steps like my life depended on it when I had no other choice.
It made all the difference, and has given me a life beyond my expectations.
It made all the difference, and has given me a life beyond my expectations.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Originally Posted by pavernt
The problem I have with the AA, is that the 12 Steps is based on Christian religion, and I am an Atheist, So as practising members, how religious are the groups? I know that there are a lot in my local area.
There are also AA groups that specify that are secular AA groups specifically for those that are Agnostics and Atheists.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Coffs Nsw
Posts: 80
Pavernet.. I use AA.... I spent ages at first questioning the God thing.. in meetings, in my own life..Id ask friends and colleagues what they believed.... the answers were as varied as the people I questioned.. but its what u chose to believe...and it took me a long time to get my head around..
I met a man who had the Trams as his higher power cause he said he watched them go past pubs when he had never been able to.....AA is global and encompases all religions..also athiest, wicca, pagans... u name it its covered..
but u dont need to believe when u go..i never did.. but knew if I wanted what these people had I had to get myself in that door, sit down and stay
I met a man who had the Trams as his higher power cause he said he watched them go past pubs when he had never been able to.....AA is global and encompases all religions..also athiest, wicca, pagans... u name it its covered..
but u dont need to believe when u go..i never did.. but knew if I wanted what these people had I had to get myself in that door, sit down and stay
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
Five years for me. The threat of jail got me back into the rooms of AA and into rehab, CPS and the DA kept me there for 6 months. By that time, turning back to the old me just didn't seem appealing at all. The new me had so much more. A better marriage, a better relationship with my loved ones and most of the trust I had broken.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 426
The difference the last time around for me was I hit a pretty good bottom, saw no way out, knew it would only get worse, was willing to get help, started seeing a therapist, and was willing to NOT DRINK in order to start healing physically, mentally and spiritually.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 58
Being broken and fragile and beginning to drink in the morning, noon and night was first. Then the growing inability to take care of myself was the last straw. I reached out and a group of AA people I didn't even know started calling me and supporting right away - even the very first hellish day of detox. Finally, the absolute knowledge that a better life was on the other side if I was willing to do the hard work.
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