Help me please before I die from drinking
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 8
I've been sober for 5 days and am feeling stong so far. I too struggle with agoraphobia and just paranoia and anxiety in general. I recently stopped dating someone and find myself thinking that he is stalking me. I keep my curtains closed and check the locks on my doors several times at night. I know this is just me coming back to reality and is a side-effect from the withdrawl. I would say try and remember that. Who knows who you will be when you finally become free of alcohol. My therapist says that when someone is addicted to a substance for many years it stops their development as a person. So when you finally become sober you may be going back to the emotional capacity of a 15 year old. Sad, yes, but also kind of exciting. Its like starting over. I am in the same boat as you. 30 and have been drinking since 12. Please hang in there!!!
Sarah
Sarah
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Spain
Posts: 298
Legend,
I have been up and running around my house like crazy today, trying to stay busy and can't believe all I have done so far.
That's OK, but don't forget to relax yourself, at least for a while. Music, reading, leastening the radio... Don't be afraid of antidepressants, provided that they are prescribed by your doctor. I have taken them, and they work wonderfully.
I have been up and running around my house like crazy today, trying to stay busy and can't believe all I have done so far.
That's OK, but don't forget to relax yourself, at least for a while. Music, reading, leastening the radio... Don't be afraid of antidepressants, provided that they are prescribed by your doctor. I have taken them, and they work wonderfully.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Spain
Posts: 298
Remember: One day at a time. And dont drink, please. Reading is wonderful. Phone and talk with your friends or your family. Remember antidepressants can be very useful, if prescribed by your doctor. Usually they have little or none side effects. Dont be afraid of them if your doctor prescribes this. They are much healthier than alcohol...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 20
Today has been a better day up until about an hour ago. I have been sober all day long, working on my house, painting, and playing with the dogs. Last night was day two, going onto day 3 and sleep was awful again, nightmares, sweats, but I think I will sleep better tonight. Anyway..
Today my friend calls. We used to be inseparable, like brother and sister. She has been treating me like crap lately, but I had been financing a BMW that I was letting her drive because her car died, and she needed a way to get to and from work. She drove it about 8 months, and I decided I was not comfortable with her driving such an expensive car, so we traded it in for a used Chevy Aveo about 2 weeks ago which was a sign of relief for me. Still, she treats me like crap lately, and only ever thinks about herself, but the lease was in my name so I had no choice but to finance this Chevy for her because her credit is crap, and id be stuck with her driving the BMW which would be more dangerous if anything happened.
Through all this suffering with trying to detox and not want to drink, tonight she called me and was hysterical saying she got in an a car accident and I needed to come right away. I got there to find the whole front end ripped from the car, and the guy she hit only had a popped tire. I guess they say she ran a stop sign or something. In my fury, I lost it on her, and ever since I have been shaking and sweating and wanting to go buy a bottle of Jack to make it go away..
I have not gone, and have no intention to. I am drinking tea, I just wanted to share my willpower with everyone, I have no idea how I am holding on to it.
Today my friend calls. We used to be inseparable, like brother and sister. She has been treating me like crap lately, but I had been financing a BMW that I was letting her drive because her car died, and she needed a way to get to and from work. She drove it about 8 months, and I decided I was not comfortable with her driving such an expensive car, so we traded it in for a used Chevy Aveo about 2 weeks ago which was a sign of relief for me. Still, she treats me like crap lately, and only ever thinks about herself, but the lease was in my name so I had no choice but to finance this Chevy for her because her credit is crap, and id be stuck with her driving the BMW which would be more dangerous if anything happened.
Through all this suffering with trying to detox and not want to drink, tonight she called me and was hysterical saying she got in an a car accident and I needed to come right away. I got there to find the whole front end ripped from the car, and the guy she hit only had a popped tire. I guess they say she ran a stop sign or something. In my fury, I lost it on her, and ever since I have been shaking and sweating and wanting to go buy a bottle of Jack to make it go away..
I have not gone, and have no intention to. I am drinking tea, I just wanted to share my willpower with everyone, I have no idea how I am holding on to it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Spain
Posts: 298
Legend,
Please dont think over it, try to forget and forgive. Resentments are very dangerous triggers. What about doing some yoga or relaxing? Please forget this incident/accident, it doesn't worth drinking. Relax, relax and talk about it with someone. Tomorrow will be a better day: A nice, sober sunday
Perhaps willpower is not enough to stay sober. We alcoholics need support, from other alcoholics or from friends, and need changing our thinking.
Sorry, my english is not very good.
Please dont think over it, try to forget and forgive. Resentments are very dangerous triggers. What about doing some yoga or relaxing? Please forget this incident/accident, it doesn't worth drinking. Relax, relax and talk about it with someone. Tomorrow will be a better day: A nice, sober sunday
Perhaps willpower is not enough to stay sober. We alcoholics need support, from other alcoholics or from friends, and need changing our thinking.
Sorry, my english is not very good.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,962
Here are some links to recovery literature.
What is CBT
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) - Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center
SMART Tools AA Books
SMART RecoveryŽ - Tool Chest and Homework
SMART RecoveryŽ - Articles and Essays
Alcoholics Anonymous : Click on the Book You Would Like to Read
Have a click at these links to recovery resources...they do help.
What is CBT
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) - Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center
SMART Tools AA Books
SMART RecoveryŽ - Tool Chest and Homework
SMART RecoveryŽ - Articles and Essays
Alcoholics Anonymous : Click on the Book You Would Like to Read
Have a click at these links to recovery resources...they do help.
Programmaddict
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: God's Hands
Posts: 217
I have found that I am my most upset when I am attempting to control something over which I have no control. It is the ultimate frustration and until I recognize it for what it is it becomes increasingly toxic to my recovery.
Car accidents fall squarely in the category of things over which I have no control, especially when they occur in my absence. People involved in car accidents cannot change the fact that the accident occurred. My being angry at them or the situation achieves nothing in terms of bettering the situation or myself.
This is not to say I wouldn't find myself angry under such circumstances but it is to say this represents how I would reconcile myself with the past, over which I have no control.
Car accidents fall squarely in the category of things over which I have no control, especially when they occur in my absence. People involved in car accidents cannot change the fact that the accident occurred. My being angry at them or the situation achieves nothing in terms of bettering the situation or myself.
This is not to say I wouldn't find myself angry under such circumstances but it is to say this represents how I would reconcile myself with the past, over which I have no control.
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