try # 3,745
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: appleton, WI
Posts: 65
try # 3,745
i can't seem to beat this thing. my failure to achieve long term sobriety is killing me...literally. i'm considering inpatient therapy but doubt i can afford it. the only thing i haven't lost as a result of this disease is my job. my wife left me, i've lost contact with most of my friends, my parents are supportive but exhausted. i feel like i'm staring death in the face. i guess one good thing is that i still have the will to pick myself up and keep trying. at least i'm not drunk now. at least i'll be sober for the rest of today. staying sober is honestly the most difficult thing i can think of. i feel like walking on water would be more possible. thoughts of alcohol lace my every thought. when i'm sober i'm racked with guilt and shame over what i've become. that usually leads to more drinking. help.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I'm glad you're back JK
I know there's various low cost and some free rehabs - Salvation Army for example.
This is a national database - if you enter your local area you'll get a lot of hits, and some indication on cost
Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator
what else have you tried til now though?
D
I know there's various low cost and some free rehabs - Salvation Army for example.
This is a national database - if you enter your local area you'll get a lot of hits, and some indication on cost
Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator
what else have you tried til now though?
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 426
Hi JK -
Before I came to this board I thought that I was the only person that had the obsessive thoughts about alcohol, my drinking, my health, and I honestly had no hope. I was consumed with shame and guilt..come to find out that it is a common feeling that people feel in this struggle. I was so surprised - and it calmed me down a bit to know that I was not this isolated person on earth - rather I had many people around me who went or were going through the same thing.
The more stories I read about others who understood how I felt, the more courage it gave me to make my best effort to stick with this. And I've spent a lot of time here lately. This is hard as hell and I worry about the future but each day is a victory for me right now and that's what keeps me going.
You have reached out for help and that takes a tremendous amount of courage. Keep posting and reading and know that even if you are feeling alone, there are so many people here who can share their experiences and advice. Please don't give up!!
Glad you reached out.
Before I came to this board I thought that I was the only person that had the obsessive thoughts about alcohol, my drinking, my health, and I honestly had no hope. I was consumed with shame and guilt..come to find out that it is a common feeling that people feel in this struggle. I was so surprised - and it calmed me down a bit to know that I was not this isolated person on earth - rather I had many people around me who went or were going through the same thing.
The more stories I read about others who understood how I felt, the more courage it gave me to make my best effort to stick with this. And I've spent a lot of time here lately. This is hard as hell and I worry about the future but each day is a victory for me right now and that's what keeps me going.
You have reached out for help and that takes a tremendous amount of courage. Keep posting and reading and know that even if you are feeling alone, there are so many people here who can share their experiences and advice. Please don't give up!!
Glad you reached out.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: appleton, WI
Posts: 65
i've been through intensive outpatient rehab 3 times. i'm currently in a relapse prevention program which has been a big help and i go to as many meetings as i can...sometimes 2 or 3 a day. i drink a lot of water, gatorade and energy drinks and usually eat pretty healthily. i see a shrink once a week which also helps. i do something recovery related at least once a day but it's not enough. i wish my life was one continuous meeting. i can go from having an iron clad will to having no will power at all in the blink of an eye. i'm without the ability to understand how something can have such a hold on me. it terrifies me.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
When you say you've been to "meetings" are you talking about AA meetings? Do you have a sponsor and are you working the Steps?
Just sitting in meetings won't change you so you can stay sober. Meetings can pump you up for a bit but meetings alone won't help you navigate life as a sober person. Until you do that, you are likely to stay in this rut you've gotten into.
Sounds like you don't have a lot to lose by doing it, at this point. When all else fails, follow the directions.
Just sitting in meetings won't change you so you can stay sober. Meetings can pump you up for a bit but meetings alone won't help you navigate life as a sober person. Until you do that, you are likely to stay in this rut you've gotten into.
Sounds like you don't have a lot to lose by doing it, at this point. When all else fails, follow the directions.
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