GracieJane

This is my first post. I have been sober for just 10 days -- since May 9. I feel great, clear-headed and able to cope with everyday life. So why, after the hell of detox and the pride in not having taken a drink do I feel like I need just one -- even though I know it won't be just one? Where is my logical, rational mind? I literally went through hell to get here. Why am I even considering giving that up to start all over again? I haven't even wanted a drink for all these days -- why NOW??? This is insane. Why can't I recognize it as such on something deeper than an intellectual level?

Eddiebuckle

GJ,

It's all part of the process. I highly recommend you pick up a copy of Under the Influence - it's a paperback, costs $8 at B&N or similar big box book stores. It's got tons of information about the physiology of addiction and the healing process thereafter.

Congrats on your sobriety!

GracieJane

Thank you Eddie.

Opivotal

Alcohol has a voice of its own GracieJane. It will enter your mind at the oddest times. Acknowledge it for what it is. A destroyer of life and well being. You worked to hard to listen to it. Dismiss it for the enemy it is.

Congratulations on 10 days and Welcome to SR. Keep up the good work!


Best Wishes To You!

SomethingBetter

The alcoholic craving is just another part of the withdraw, hang in there it gets easier, and welcome to the forum.

Can I recomend a book called "Under the influence"? it explains a lot about cravings in chapter 5 and has a lot of other things you might find interesting.

Edit* Opps, sorry Eddie

least

Welcome to the family. Early sobriety can be a 'bumpy road' sometimes but it does get better. Hang in there.

Dee74

Welcome GracieJane

Dealing with the cravings and desire to drink is something we all have to do - it's par for the course believe me.

It would be great if all we had to do is quit and never be bothered again - but for most of us that's just not the case.

Support helped me a lot through those times - I know you'll find a lot of support here
Welcome

D

Bikeguy

It's the disease speaking, once you start to feel good again the alcoholic inside us tries to convince us we did not have that big of a problem. Trust me that voice is a LIAR, every time it speaks to me I remember back to the pain and suffering of detox, that usually is the wake up call I need to get my head back on straight.

GracieJane

Thanks to all who responded. I took each of these posts to heart and the craving passed. That said, I know there will be more to come. With the help of everyone at SR I will get through this. I'm so glad I found you all!

EmeraldRose

Hi Gracie and welcome...in the beginning when I'd hear a little voice say 'go ahead, no one's watching' but I'd think back to the day that I blacked out at work and ultimately lost my job. I had been drinking over 30 years and after separating with spouse thought now I was in control...just drinking beer. Yeah right...that lead me back to muh whiskey...I remember it all like yesterday.
After the initial detox...resting and feeling like crap for 4 days, I did pretty good most of the time. I was positive and looking forward to a new life, a new me. But even just the other day (after 100 days), I forgot what I was thinking, but the voice said "So who's looking? Do it". I'm smart enough now to realize I may hear those voices for the rest of my days...just don't give in. It means nothing...it solves nothing...it again will make you feel like nothing. I don't know about you...but I ain't going back there again.
I believe from recent experience that if we feel alittle more stressed or anxious the voices will be louder & clearer.
Wishing you peace and strength.

PapaNico

That dirty little voice is what gets us in trouble, and I am certainly no exception. It is tough to talk ourselves out of it, especially when you have been following the b@$t@rd's suggestions for a long time. I have been slowly but surely getting more and more separation in between falling back into old habits, and with each inch of progress, I feel as though I am even able to stuff a sock in the voice once or twice more with each effort. I found that if I write something to myself to reflect on when the voice chimes in, more often than not it helps. I write about whatever is punishing my heart most at the time, and I've got almost half of one of those little pocket notebooks filled up. Sometimes I write two or three pages worth, other times two or three words will do the trick. I always carry that notebook in my "man-bag" so even if I am out and about and thinking of going to a bar or a liquor store, I am able to pull it out and remind myself why I need to make the decision to find something better to do with my life. I hope this helps and I wish you the best! You can do it!

CarolD

Welcome...glad to know you are heading into a sober future ..:wave

I too had a horrific de tox...I wrote the details down and carried them with me in early sobriety.
whenever the idea of having "just one" popped up...reading the paper was a good reminder.

Toronto68

Gracie, I suppose the point could have been made by now, but one thing that is good to remember as time rolls on (after quitting) is that addiction isn't all about making sense. You can have a really smart person - even a responsible, caring and careful person - doing dumb and careless things because of addiction. It doesn't solve every problem you may have, but it might helpful to think of it that way. After we quit, there's an opportunity to hang on to things like Choice and Making Sense again. Good for you and keep going.

Kjell

Hi Gracie-

Welcome to alcoholism in recovery

This reason right here, is why I know there is more to this than just a physical withdrawal.

I'm 18 months sober and every so often, I get this thought that having some wine with dinner or a beer with my steak is a good idea

I love this quote from Robert Downy Jr. It goes something like...

Sometimes I think having a glass of wine would be ok with dinner, but then I remember I have plans for Christmas

Kjell~