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Old 05-18-2011, 09:24 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Greetings


New here & thought I would introduce myself & provide a little info regarding my own situation.

I have been what I would considered a steady drinker most of my adult life, never had a DUI or any other incursions with the law as a result & I honestly didn't think that I had an issue. Until my girlfriend said it was & that she would like for me to cut back. Which I did, cutting my consumption in half to a six pack every 2-3 days.

However after having a huge meltdown with my girlfriend last Friday after only a couple of beers that resulted in me being kicked out, it has become clear that booze & I are incompatible. I now know that if I have any hope of salvaging my relationship that cutting back isn't an option, I have to quit drinking.

I have gone a total of four days now without a drink, so far so good other than chills, some insomnia & slight weight loss.
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Old 05-18-2011, 09:35 AM   #2 (permalink)
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(((Concor))) - welcome to SR!! There are a lot of people here, who have been or are still in similar situations. It's a good place for ES&H (experience, strength, and hope).

Congrats on the 4 days!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 05-18-2011, 09:40 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Welcome! This is a great place for a tough battle! Hope you find what you need here. 6 days for me so I'm with ya!
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Old 05-18-2011, 09:57 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Welcome aboard.
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Old 05-18-2011, 10:05 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Welcome to the family. You'll find a lot of support and useful information here.
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Old 05-18-2011, 10:16 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Good for you, Concor. You're seeing what you need to do and going forward.

Welcome to SR. I'm early in this too but feeling extremely hopeful. Best wishes to you as you begin your recovery.
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Old 05-18-2011, 10:41 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Thank you all for the warm welcome & kind words!

After reading through many posts & replies, I knew that signing up could do nothing but help.
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Old 05-18-2011, 10:42 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Hi Concor-

Welcome to SR.

GREAT work coming on here and posting about yourself.

This is going to sound "cliche", but you're gonna have to want to quit for yourself or else in my experience it won't be "for real".

Looking forward to reading more about you.

Kjell~
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Old 05-18-2011, 10:46 AM   #9 (permalink)
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ok... i know im new, but. you drink 2 to 3 beers a day and you had an argument and youre blaming the beer? can you honestly say she was completely fault free about whatever the argument was about? just my 2c cause my wife's a real b**** most of the time.
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Old 05-18-2011, 11:57 AM   #10 (permalink)
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ok... i know im new, but. you drink 2 to 3 beers a day and you had an argument and youre blaming the beer? can you honestly say she was completely fault free about whatever the argument was about? just my 2c cause my wife's a real b**** most of the time.
No, I can't say she was fault free, but I can say that my reaction wouldn't have been the same had I been sober, furthermore the fight may not have happened at all had I been thinking with a clear head.
The day after I had a long talk with a close friend who was an alcoholic (dry for 7 years) & now know that even a couple of drinks effects my personality in an adverse way. Honestly it was hard news to hear from such a good friend, but when confronted with the evidence he provided, I had no choice to agree. Why I refused to listen to when my girlfriend first raised the issue, well in my case it was a matter of pride.

Also to clarify things a little, I wasn't drinking a 2-3 beers a night, if I bought a 6 pack, I drank a 6 pack.
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Old 05-18-2011, 01:09 PM   #11 (permalink)
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No, I can't say she was fault free, but I can say that my reaction wouldn't have been the same had I been sober, furthermore the fight may not have happened at all had I been thinking with a clear head.
The day after I had a long talk with a close friend who was an alcoholic (dry for 7 years) & now know that even a couple of drinks effects my personality in an adverse way. Honestly it was hard news to hear from such a good friend, but when confronted with the evidence he provided, I had no choice to agree. Why I refused to listen to when my girlfriend first raised the issue, well in my case it was a matter of pride.

Also to clarify things a little, I wasn't drinking a 2-3 beers a night, if I bought a 6 pack, I drank a 6 pack.
I just want to say BRAVO for taking responsability.

That, my friend, will get you far in some good, solid, long lasting recovery

Kjell~
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Old 05-18-2011, 02:39 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I wanted to say bravo too
taking responsibility for my own stuff was a huge step forward for me.

Welcome Concor

D
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Old 05-18-2011, 06:05 PM   #13 (permalink)
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"to clarify things a little, I wasn't drinking a 2-3 beers a night, if I bought a 6 pack, I drank a 6 pack"

I love this statement. I applaud your insight - "normal" drinkers wouldn't recognize this about their drinking, I think. Or, IMHO, drink like that
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Old 05-18-2011, 06:15 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Welcome!

And, I agree that taking responsibility for the problems alcohol is causing in your life, is a big step forward.
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Old 05-18-2011, 06:20 PM   #15 (permalink)
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First off, welcome. Secondly, congratulations on making the decision to come here and be truthful, because that's one of the most important steps in early recovery.

There's a saying on here "it's not how much you drink, it's what happens when you drink". And you know that out of character things happen to you when you drink - and not great things, either.

I can't even begin to tell you how many awful rows and arguments I've had with my husband when I was drinking, over nothing at all. The next day I couldn't even pinpoint what exactly was said by him to tip me into fury. All I remembered were the feelings.

I'm pleased to say after 29 days of being sober, hubby and I have not had one argument. A few cross words with each other, yes, but that's normal after nearly 20 years together. But that's where they end - and the matter is normally resolved before we go to sleep. Harmony resides where there was once utter misery.

Do you think your girlfriend will patch things up if you stay sober? What are you both hoping for? It's also important that you do REALLY REALLY want it - and not just to save a relationship. Trust me, if you are doing it for her and not yourself, it makes the journey that much more difficult.

Glad you are here. SR is amazing - there are many of us out here going through exactly the same thing.
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Old 05-18-2011, 06:32 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Do you think your girlfriend will patch things up if you stay sober? What are you both hoping for? It's also important that you do REALLY REALLY want it - and not just to save a relationship. Trust me, if you are doing it for her and not yourself, it makes the journey that much more difficult.


Wow. I started to say this earlier but didn't want to scare the guy off on the third post.

Concor She's pretty dead on here. Many of us (myself included) still lost the relationship after sobering up because we changed and the other person didn't. Had I not been doing it for myself I would be drinking again as my break up happened not even a week out of rehab and less than a few days after being told over and over that I was being supported and how proud they were of me.

Thankfully through my HP and my desire to stop for ME and my kids I was able to deal with it so much better.
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Old 05-18-2011, 06:33 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Welcome Concor! Stick around, this is a great place to get support.
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Old 05-18-2011, 06:42 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Wow. I started to say this earlier but didn't want to scare the guy off on the third post.
Whoops, sorry, I may have been a bit direct, I don't want to scare him off, either. My bad. I guess I've gotten so used to asking myself such poignant questions, I need a filter on questions to others...
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Old 05-18-2011, 06:54 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Welcome! You don't have to have a DUI, lose a job, or drink booze out of a paper sack under a highway overpass to have a problem with alcohol.
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Old 05-18-2011, 06:54 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Congrats on your 4 days! And welcome to SR. Lot's of good help and support.
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