Originally Posted by JasperChicago

Wow - thanks for not pulling any punches with the replies and advice. You'd think it'd be pretty clear to me what to do but I guess I'm downplaying my past like it hasn't been THAT bad but I'm not on the receiving end. I don't like the ultimatum but I understand where it comes from. Ugh!!

"Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet."

Originally Posted by JasperChicago

I've been a heavy social/weekend drinker most of my life from 15 yrs old. My wife has known, of course, and tolerated most of our marriage (12+ yrs) if not enabled. Most of the time, my drinking is okay but every 3 months or so I have an incident that is embarrassing and/or embarrasses my wife including flirting with other women in front of her - sometimes pretty heavily (so I'm told later). Kids are older now and aware when I'm drunk and often comment. Anyway, it's to the point where I'm ready to quit. I've had the reputation of the drunk guy which I don't want anymore. I also don't want to hurt or embarrass my wife and kids anymore. Wife is beyond fed up and threatening separation.

A friend recently put down a lot of cash for a guy's weekend. Prior to him doing this, I got my wife's okay to go. She's fully aware we're going to drink. We've done these trips before with no incidents - no hitting on other women, fully able to remember night's events, etc. Now it's getting close to the trip and she's saying if I go, it'll likely end our marriage. Not sure if that's a threat or she thinks I'll do something to ruin it.

Anyway, I'm good with stopping the drinking but it won't happen until after the trip. It's a delusion to think otherwise. Anyway, what should I do? Cancelling would not be fair to friend. Is setting a date to quit afterwards just me kidding myself? I feel committed. Thoughts?